talk to me about home/school books please?

[UnChartered]

that's it really..it's been suggested that a home/school book be set up for DD.

She has ASD dx, has short-term memory probs, organisational disasters issues, is very verbal but has a 4yr difference in her literal lang skills.

before i put this on my ever-growing list of demands to take into school, would anyone like to share success or failures in using one of these?

are they generally well received by teachers/TA's? is this yet another book for DD to lose? she's coming towards the end of reception, and i feel a bit of a pocket-liver hanging about the classroom door for a glimmer of communication from her class teacher...

over to you

I have one which is really the reading record. I do put notes in there and she does reply sometimes but it isn't used every day and she doesn't check it every day. I have to tell DS to tell her that there is a note in the book which isn't really the point.

All of our letters come by email so at least he doesn't lose them and the teacher provides complete instructions for all children for homework.

If he has had a particularly bad morning then I will tell her when I drop him off.

I don't want to know if he has been "naughty" at school as that is for them to deal with. I don't disclipline for behaviour at school.

It is helped by the fact that he will tell me how his day has been when I pick him up ie how much golden time he has left, whether he got any raffle tickets etc. I can then gauge his mood.

DS doesn't have a 1:1 TA so I guess that it might be different if he did.

DS is in special school and we have a home / school book even though I see staff every day. Most of the children are brought by bus / taxi as the school covers the county (we live just down the road).

It's great for sending messages back and fore and sharing information, it always says what ds has done during the day and highlights any concerns. I don't write in it very often as I hand him over to his teacher myself and will mention things then. I usually write in when ds has had a bad night because it is a useful record!

DS2 goes to a LSC attached to a mainstream school and goes by taxi. The home/school book is essential and means I can pass messages to his teachers and them to me. They don't always put too much detail in, but it is a great tool.

DS's old school weren't keen on using one but that's another story!

It is a reasonable request to have one. Good luck!

thanks for all of these replies

it was suggested by our Parent Partnership support worker, and now i'm thinking it might be useful to record things like the SALT has already been in to see DD in her class (i knew this was happening, just not aware when) - and DD has only just remembered when we went past her office today! it happened last week i think

not that these things are important at all, you know - i mean it's not like i want to be able to support DD at home is it

They should be telling you when they have professionals in to see her in school and normally give you the chance to attend.

to be fair, she had the SALT assessment done independently from school - NHS but via GP referral and the SALT by coincidence is bought in by the school to take up weekly sessions for those who need it

it would have been nice to have been told on the day that it had started though.

You should definitely know when her sessions are going to be - esp if it could cause her to be unsettled after. I had to sign consent and was given a letter to confirm.

My Ds has a home school book. At first I was the only one who wrote anything significant in it. Now I have asked the LSA to write in it every day which she does and this is very helpful. My DS has had 2 visits from outside agencies in the last 3 weeks, neither of these were recorded in the book. I would recommend them but there are still communication problems.

We have a home/school book, but the TA just doesn't have the time to write in it. And they hand DS2 over to us every day, so we get the chance to get verbal feedback daily. We generally just put notes in it such as upcoming appointments so they are aware of them.

Any people that come to see DS2 at school (OT, SALT) have my email and contact me by email prior to the date they are seeing him, so that if he is going to be gone from school potentially that day (such as for an appointment), I can email them back and let them know to reschedule. It works very well.

Hi, Im a Teaching Assistant and I ALWAYS use home/school diaries when I work with children with additional needs. I myself have a child with additional needs. Communication between parents and schools is bad enough. If you are sincere and approach school and tell them why you feel a home/school diary would help any GOOD school will be happy to oblige. I always write a comment every day. I tell the good, bad and ugly!!! - Sometimes when children go home they say "Oh someone was nasty in the playground today!" but they fail or do not seem to know how it was resolved. I know this as my son used to do it and I would feel awkward about approaching the school in case they viewed me as a 'trouble maker!'. I just started to lose trust instead which was wrong on my part. You will find that if a home/school diary is being used properly then anything that has happened will be recorded and how it was dealt with. Also even if you speak to Teaching Assistants when you hand over your child and collect them you both forget to mention some things. If you use the diary you are more likely to log everything down. I write what the child has found difficult and what has went well. The parent can then reward the child at home for what went well during the day or talk about the difficulties. The parent then writes in "He slept in his own bed last night etc" Then he is rewarded and congratulated in school etc. This is home/school working together as one and this is the way it should be. Again if you go in guns ho and demand this is done it will be less likely to happen however if you are sincere and say "Look I really feel this would help and I just want you to write anything of note inside but at least one comment a day that would be really helpful" then what school can refuse? If they do refuse - CHANGE SCHOOLS - they clearly do not want the best for your child or are empathetic towards your family as a whole.

GOOD LUCK

I'm a TA and have had mixed success with them. One child's mum asked for one as there were issues with her ? Making up stories, so the idea was her mum could record any incidents so we'd have a better grounding for understanding what the child was trying to tell us. Her mum wrote in it once. I try to write in it every day, but it's difficult on Tuesdays as we have assembly last thing then I need to collect her and her brother and take them to an after school club so there isn't time. Mostly it's just, ' x has been fine today , she had done well with x,y,z' nowadays as things have calmed down this year.

I made a home school book for another of my children and have never seen it since :s

I'm going to offer to do one for another child that I have just started supporting as he's developing so rapidly in all areas and I obviously want to share that with his mum. I want to ask (tactfully) if she'll actually read it first though lol

I think you really have to look at it as a possible helpful tool and give it a chance. It works for some, it doesn't for others, for various reasons.

Every situation is different.

home/school books are great for a couple of reasons.

1/ on bad days its easier to take it written down than in the midst of a playground of other mothers.

2/ It acts as a diary of events. I have been able to form patterns of triggers where DS is upset or uncooperative (fav school word). It aids as a back up to discuss with the school if you have found something that could be avoided.

3/ It also is ideal for you to put messages in ie. DD had disturbed night so is tired today, or something she is worried about, dental appointments etc

4/ I give ds reward stickers I stick into the home book when he has achieved something however small so it boosts confidence and he can show teachers

5/ If you are dealing with proffessionals either for dx purposes or any other support this is a good log to take if all is or is not well at school.

6/ DS likes to be warned in advance of trips and my school is useless at dolling out the letters and expecting DS to remember to bring it home. So I ask them to pre warn me in the book.

emerald changing schools is very much our elephant in the room - the head seems brilliant, she makes all the right noises and seems very committed to getting DD support in her classroom.
In practice DDs class teacher is non-commital, relaxed (read ? lazy) and the SENCO runs off and does things behind our back.

We had another Psych appt last night, with the Dr who dx'd DD, and he's pushing the idea that DD has superior intelligence and foresees greater probs in school if she is allowed to 'drift' at all, i think a home/school book could be a gentle way of keeping a record of what's actually going on...

so, now - the approach - shall i ask school to provide one (in regulation colours ) or buy a nice day-to-page diary and ask the SENCO what she thinks?

sorry meant to put the bit about intellect in inverted commas - she's 4, in reception, i have no idea what he means

Pop in and see the HT with an excercise book. Ask for permision to give this to the teacher for completion each day. Tell him/her the psych needs an overall picture of her days both at home and school in order to help her progress with her dx plus it is an easy point of contact owing that dd very rarely remembers what has happend in the day and it would be less hastle than bothering the teacher every day x

Hi there, What I did with home/school diary was I used a normal exercise book and with my son/child I was working with as a Teaching Assistant - I talked to them about their favourite tv characters. Then we both sat at the computer together and printed off a picture of that character and used it as a cover for the book. This makes it more appealing to the child. I also got address label stickers, printed off more smaller images of their fav characters and stuck them on to the labels to use as reward stickers! As a parent approaching the school. You need to ask for time to talk to the Teacher. Write inside the front cover of the book what you expect them to tell you - this way there will be no misunderstandings. If you can, show it to the Teacher, SENCO and the Headteacher. This way if the teacher is not completing the book properly then she is clearly at fault and it is up to the SENCO and headteacher to make sure this is done. If a good record of what you expect is not being completed then you should not feel awkward about approaching the school. GOOD LUCK

I'm also a TA and I stopped using the home/school diary when the DC I support kept reading it! I couldn't put anything in it for his parents' eyes only. He would obsess about what was written in it.

My DS2 had one and it was really useful. My DS has never been interested enough to read it! I would write in it 2 or 3 times a week and as I didn't see his 1:1 TA at school drop off or pick up, it was a very useful communication aid. Now he's at secondary he has a homework diary that his TAs write his homework in and any important information that he will forget may forget to tell me. Without a 1:1 TA, I think it won't get much use, TBH.

Unchartered, if your psych says your DD has superior intelligence and problems could arise if she is allowed to drift then this means that she clearly needs to be stretched further with her intellect ie., if her work is not challenging enough and she is not intellectually stimulated then she will lose interest quickly hense the 'drift' comment, becoming bored and boredom is where ALL the problems start.

Is your psych writing to the school about this? If not you need to inform the SENCO/Head about these comments. Has your DD got a Statement - getting assessed? any 1:1 or additional hours with a TA?

Your DD should have an IEP (Individual Education Plan) where the professionals such as SALT, psych etc advise the school what action needs to be taken and how this should be done. The SENCO will then draw up this IEP which will have specific targets for your DD to work towards and evidence must be provided in writing by the teacher. You should also be brought in termly to look over this plan, give comments and sign.

I can't believe your SENCO is not telling you when SALT is working with your DD!. You should be informed ANYTIME someone is present at school to work with your DD and you should have the opportunity to be present to discuss any concerns etc with them.

Listen, My son attended a School. Their Special Needs were rated as OUTSTANDING by ofsted Inspectors. In his first year at this infant school he could attend no more than 2 hours a day! - This is because they did not have a clue how to handle him. I very much didn't want to become this "pain in the ass!" the thing is we as parents shouldn't have to ask for everything to be sorted out! This should automatically be done for us. I perservered with this school because my daughter was well settled there with many friends and I didn't want to cause her upheaval. I became so riddled with guilt as I knew they were not doing the right thing by him or me so in the end I changed schools. My son had to redo his reception year and is still a year behind for his age because of his initial school however he is attending full time now - anytime anyone comes to see him I am told in advance. Home/school diary is always used.

The best way for you to deal with everything is to set up a meeting. Ask school if you can do this with Head, SENCO, Teacher/ Teaching Assistant (if have one), SALT, and anyone else involved - You could even ask someone from the Parent Partnership to attend with you. I have done this and the School can do this if you request it. Write everything down on a piece of paper and I mean EVERYTHING about communication, home/school diary, when anyone visits your child at school etc any other concerns then ask the school secretary to either send copies to everyone attending the meeting or copy on the day and hand out - that way everyone will see what you are worried about and your expectations. This can then be discussed with everyone involved so there can be no misunderstandings. Then simply ask for the minutes of the meeting to be sent in writing. Honestly it sounds like alot of hassle but its not - this way you will and they will all get the full picture of what is happening now and what is the best way to move forward. This will take alot of worry on your part out of the equation and help regain that trust?

now see, if someone had said my NT child had 'superior intelligence' at aged 4.11yrs i'd be laughing it off as they are all at different levels at her age.

i understand about Autism being based around developmental delay, but i'm sceptical about high IQs in very young children - it's not like she's quoting Shakespear

My DS2 had some results on the 99th %ile at 5yo, while in reception as tested by the EP. He's fairly bright for a DC with ASD at 12yo, but nothing exceptional. Above average in those concrete subjects like maths, but below average in the woolly subjects like RE, English etc.

It can only be a 'good thing' that she's bright, keep an eye on it, for sure, but I think you are right. See how it goes.

I know this is a old post, but I came across these home-school diaries while doing some research for my little one and they have been useful for me - in the hope they can help someone too! https://amzn.eu/d/hNTLGhI