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Original poster

angry with ds's teacher...venting

16 replies

bluecar88 · 08/05/2012 17:38

sorry this is long - am venting
ds has dyspraxia, hypermobile, poor proprioceptive awareness, possible sensory difficulties. Private dx - he's not on SEN register, although Head always very nice and helpful.
Has got to year 6 with no support. Was always best reader, best at maths etc (according to teachers) in KS1 and then dipped in KS2 due to the demands of writing and school not recognising the nature of his issues. Most teachers have been lovely and have always had nice things to say about him and he was very happy.
Now he's in year 6 and his teacher clearly finds his difficulties massively annoying.
Lots of little things throughout the year, such as teacher not liking him using the laptop (as recommended by OT) and shouting at him for being forgetful etc. But we told him to just keep his head down and get through it.
dh did speak to HT earlier in the year when the TA poked him in the back for being slow and told him that his work was a scruffy mess (posted on here at the time).

A couple of weeks ago we asked the HT for details of his predicted SATs as we are appealing for a school for next year and needed the info. We were shocked that teacher insisted that he was L4 in everything - he was predicted L5 at the start of the year and hasn't moved in his maths.
Anyway the teacher seems to have taken us asking for this info very personally and has basically been bullying him ever since. Even his friends have commented to their mums how ds is getting shouted at all the time and they don't know why.
ds has never had any problems with any other teacher but now spends play times worrying that he's going to come in and do something wrong and set her off again.

Tonight he came home from school very upset. In maths he hadn't been able to follow the explanation for the task and didn't know what to do. He told the teacher this and she went ballistic. Her response was to send it hime with him.
I've been sat doing it with him and he really didn't know how to approach it. I've explained it, so he gets it now BUT - shouldn't SHE have bloody well SHOWN him what to do? Her response to him not knowing what to do in class is to send the work home? Hmm
What annoys me even more is that it's bloody level 5 work - she's adamant he's not going to get a level 5 but she has bollocked him today for not being able to do it.

OP posts:
WetAugust · 08/05/2012 17:40

Appointment with Head teacher first thing tomorrow morning.

This 2012, not 1962.

Original poster
bluecar88 · 08/05/2012 17:42

Thanks wetaugust
I am so angry grrrrrr
They are a dyslexia friendly school as well ( eye roll)

OP posts:
WetAugust · 08/05/2012 17:45

Stay angry. Bullying is terrible and doubly worse when the so-called 'professional' should no better Angry

This is the problem you face though when people don't understand his difficulties and therefore do not make the necessary adjustments for him.

Original poster
bluecar88 · 08/05/2012 17:54

Yes I will stay angry and write it all down
Thanks for answering :)

OP posts:
coff33pot · 08/05/2012 20:16

Definately go to see the HT. I know schools are under pressure sorting out all the SATS but your DS is outright being picked on.

Is that going to help his self esteem? I think not. Tell the HT that the teacher is having the oposite effect being so unsupported that come sats week he could well panic on the test and have a lower grade still.

YakkaSkink · 08/05/2012 20:41

Your poor DS! Absolutely talk to HT

peekabooby · 08/05/2012 22:58

That is terrible, your poor DS, meeting with HT in the morning,

slacklucy · 08/05/2012 23:05

Ahh your poor ds, i hope the head is able to get hings sorted for him, in the meantime I hope she has a night of very itchy piles Grin

merlincat · 09/05/2012 09:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Voidka · 09/05/2012 11:32

How did the meeting go bluecar?

missrandom · 09/05/2012 12:00

bluecar, i'm furious after reading your OP!Angry I'm so shocked and utterly gobsmacked that this sort of thing still happens.

I'm so upset for your ds. How dare this absolute cow be allowed to bully your son?! He doesn't understand the way certain things are explained because of his diagnosed condition, which she is more than aware of i'm assuming. This isn't just a case of laziness or 'can't be bothered syndrome'!! Even if it was, she still wouldn't have the right to yell at him or bully him in any way. How dare she?!!! I'm so angry!

Let us know how the meeting goes. She could get the sack for this!

alison222 · 09/05/2012 12:11

This sounds awful. I hope you have managed to meet the head. What happened?

Original poster
bluecar88 · 09/05/2012 15:42

Met with head this morning
Teacher claims it's all a misunderstanding - that she told ds that she was going to go through it with him today and has no idea why he took it home

Now ds does get mixed up with stuff - that's true
But he was distraught last night and terrified of making a mistake with the work. She definitely was very strict/shouty with him because he couldn't do it.
And it was written in his homework diary (by him) so he hasn't just picked it up accidentally.

So head says he will speak to teacher about how ds is feeling about school but that teacher didn't mean for him to do it at home.
If he can get through the rest of the year and she backs off from him I think that's the best that we can hope for.

He's not home yet so hopefully he'll have had a nicer day today.

OP posts:
MoreCatsThanKids · 09/05/2012 16:04

blue - I'm so sorry that this is happening to your son - even if he did misunderstand teacher about bringing stuff home - it's teachers fault not DS.

Have you thought about getting a statement? I ask because my experience of high school is that unless child had statement it is very hard to get them extra help and (as they are taught by many teachers each day) it is hard to get teachers to 'remember' that a particular child has a particular difficulty if it's not physically obvious. My DD has (hopefully operable) vision problems that have gradually worsened over 18 months since she started high school - no statement as they are tempory but even when help was agreed with school it proved impossible to get all the Teachers to remember and DDs confidence non existent so rarely asked for help. She has ended up in councelling and we have just withdrawn her from the school to teach her at home - at least until opereation.
As your DS has problems that are not going to go away in the short term I would suggest getting formal diagnosis and a Statement if possible - you have more chance of getting him helped in high school then.
Try not no worry what level he is working at - it's very subjective anyway (ie some teachers just guess IMO) Wish we'd concentrated more on DDs happiness rather than her grades IYSWIM.
Good Luck, hope DS had better day :)

Original poster
bluecar88 · 09/05/2012 16:36

He's not even n the sen register though!
I agree that a statement would be helpful in secondary
He has had a nice day today though so he's much happier.

OP posts:
WetAugust · 09/05/2012 20:23

Always believe your child - unless you have real evidence to the contrary.

When I was about 9 (in the very dark ages) we had a vile supply teacher for a term.

She slapped me across the face - quite deliberately. I was shocked and upset and still was when I got home and told my parents what had happend. My parents contacted the parents of my best friend in class who had seen this happen and confirmed I had been slapped.

They saw the Head the next morning. The teacher denied she had slapped me. She said she was just trying to chuck me under the chin in appreciation of my good work - when her hand slipped.

So, even back in 1966 thuggish teachers were claiming 'misunderstandings'.

Hence - always believe your child.

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