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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

saw consultants today

18 replies

jenk1 · 14/02/2006 18:23

saw Clinical psych and CAMHS psychiatrist both at the same time.
Took a diary of DS from last week and they were shocked at how agressive and bad tempered he is.
(Thats what ive been saying for months)

Said they have been in touch with EWO and told them that they will decide when DS is medically fit to be in school and that they cannot put a time limit on it and in the meantime he should have a home tutor.

Got a meeting with EWO next week to thrash all these things out with them.

They are working on DS going to the new school which opens in sep 06 and hopefully trying to get him into his old school for a little bit before then so he can regroup with his mates.

DS told them "im not going back to that school"
They have promised him that they will not make him go to school until he is ready.

They have also spoken to school headteacher and told her that schools attitude is unacceptable, that what i have been telling them for months is true and that DS suffers from severe anxiety and just because he doesnt tell them it doesnt mean that its not happening, they said that they have to make allowances for his sensory problems and to work with us as his parents and not against us.
Dont know how i feel really, twice now DS has been out of school for over 2months and i have thought about home-edding him but each time he refuses to work, he is agressive towards me and i cant cope with him, i feel awful that i am considering sending him back to school but i really have tried, its just making me ill and affecting our family.
They have told me that he can have extra tuition in school as they think he is frustrated because the school work is not hard enough for him so thats a good thing.
Feel like a crap parent tonight.

OP posts:

emmalou78 · 14/02/2006 19:08

jenk1.

It seems like a few positives have come out of this meeting, and when he's ready to go back, extra tuition and more challenging work might be JUST what he needs.

In the meantime I hope they sort out a home tutor for him, you do enough being a mum without the battle of education.

Also, I hope your clincal psych can overule the peole who diagnosed anxiety and ASD traits... I know its awfulto wish alable on a child, but with that lable he'll in theory get so much more...

Take care,

emma x

Original poster

jenk1 · 14/02/2006 21:03

thats what we are hoping she will do, as a dx of anxiety will give him hardly any support

OP posts:

tobysmumkent · 14/02/2006 22:50

Message withdrawn

Davros · 15/02/2006 08:34

No wonder you're feeling crap, you've been through the mill! I don't think you should contemplate HOme Eding just because they can't get their act together. It all sounds slow but positive.

lars · 15/02/2006 13:19

jenk1, just read your thread and I can understand how frustrated you must feel as been in a similar situation myself and dealt with a school that just added to my problems.

I have now seen some light at the end of the tunnel. It sounds like your ds's school are just not helping the situation and maybe making him feel worse. It was a real shock to me to find out my ds actually hated his last school all though he said to me he didn't want to go else where, it was the thought of change that he didn't like. The new school are so more positive towards ds and that has made a big difference, he still has his problems but they are more understanding and that's what you need and your ds( understanding!).
You my find a new enviroment in September may be helpful to ds as the attitude of his present school are a little disappointing to say the least.
I'm sure you may be able to come up with a solution even part time schooling can be offered in certain situations.
I did think about home educating but I too had a son that wouldn't always comply and I'm glad I didn't go down this route in the end, you really need to get the school thing sorted out.Good luck and hope this helps. larsxx

lars · 15/02/2006 13:28

Jenk1, also wanted to add my ds had problem with sensory issues and was exclueded beause of this and he became very aggressive as he couldn't cope, he is also statemented.

Want I wanted to say it is how the school react and can make a problem even worse. i even went to governors , but it was a waste of time. Sometimes you are just heating your head against a brick wall. I find their inclusion policy of special needs was to exclude rather then include.

Try to move on and find a solution with the EWO. larsxx

Original poster

jenk1 · 15/02/2006 17:13

Thanks for the supportive messages
Forgot to say about my mum, when she came back from her holiday last month she said she had done nothing but think about our situation and how she could she help us?
I said come with me to CAMHS and tell them how it is, so she did!
She was a star "Michael has been like this from birth,Jen has been struggling with him for years, I myself cannot cope with him for more than 2 hours,this has nothing to do with him being anxious about his new school-this is him, this is how he has always been, We as a family cannot go on like this, he needs professional help, we need to know what is making him like this."
They took notice.
They will start re-assessing him for ASD when he goes back into school which is brill as they didnt want to do this the other week, they have said its going to be a long process and have promised him that they will not do anything behind his back and that they will involve him every step of the way.
My mum rocks!!!!!!!
Im taking her again to appointments!!!!

OP posts:

lars · 15/02/2006 20:54

Jenk1, Really please the appointment went well.

Once again I had to go down this route and just had another phsy see ds and he does have ASD and I was right to go with my gut feeling.

Keep going, it's hard and difficult but you want answers. Good luck and keep us posted larsxx

tobysmumkent · 15/02/2006 21:35

Message withdrawn

emmalou78 · 16/02/2006 12:57

yay for your mum jenk1! she more tehn rocks..

I hope this all means he'll get a dx sooner rather then later! and its great that they'll invlove him in the process, it should make it easier for him to cope with.

take care

emma

Original poster

jenk1 · 16/02/2006 13:36

EWO just left a nice message on my machine for me "we are concerned about the amount of time until we have a meeting with you", have had to cancel next weeks meeting as no representative was available to come with me and i aint going on my own with no one to back me up, Parent Parthership have said they will come as my solicitor doesnt come to meetings as its legal aid.
Didnt really want PP as they work for LEA but, they are being very supportive and have told me that i dont need to take any crap from EWO so i think they will be ok.
Last night when ds came home from his private tutor he was happy, he likes her and is willing to do the work she,s set him so im really pleased about that

OP posts:

Davros · 16/02/2006 17:20

At last Jenk, things happening! YOur mum does sound great, it really helps to have someone else with you who can speak up and support you.

macwoozy · 16/02/2006 18:09

It's good to hear that your ds is happy with his private tutor, it's all beginning to sound really positive for him. Good luck with the meeting with the EWO, I don't blame you for wanting to take someone along with you, going by your past encounters with them. Good luck

coppertop · 16/02/2006 18:17

Only just caught up with this thread.

I'm glad that things are looking a little more positive, especially with the private tutor. Your mum sounds fantastic too.

Original poster

jenk1 · 17/02/2006 22:09

Caught up with EWO this morning, she said "What date is DS going to be back in school" i said "I dont know" she said "Well school want to know" i said "im not being funny, but ill be guided by what DS consultant says and she says its going to take time"
"yes but we need a date2
so i suggested that she speak to DS consultant which she didnt want to do, when i asked about DS having a home tutor she said "im not sure what the law states about the"
"you will have to take that up with DS consultant, maybe she can sort out a home tutor for DS" talk about passing the book!!!

OP posts:

JayzMummy · 17/02/2006 22:14

Jenk Honey....sorry Ive been a bit absent BUT you know that M is fully entitled to a link tutor. Keep to your guns and hold on in there...you are doing a grand job....and your mom rocks

Original poster

jenk1 · 17/02/2006 22:36

hello jayzmummy was wondering where you were!

Oh im ready for this meeting with them, cant wait she doesnt know the law?
Well thats ok ill help her out because i have the SEN code of practice and the medical needs booklet which clearly states the law when it comes to absence from school due to medical needs!!!!

OP posts:

JayzMummy · 17/02/2006 22:49

You go girl...the law is on your side...shame she doesnt know it.....YET!!!!

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