dd1 has a dx of general ASD (she was dx'd at 2, though, and the paed said she didn't want to make predictions, as no one knew where on the spectrum she was. at that point i was
, as then dd1 was severe. very severe, by all criteria)
dd1 undoubtedly has some learning difficulties. it is hard ot gauge exactly how severe these are, due to her age, her language disorder and her unwillingness to be tested (she turns the test into a social experiment of ehr own and gives deliberately wrong answers to see what the ed psych will do )
however, in the areas we can track and translate across (a very rough and ready home-done guide), she is about 18 months/2 years behind, and catching up all the time - it seems to be her language disorder holding her back, she certainly ha the ability ot learn, iyswim. academically, she could be differentiated for in a ms classroom - her numeracy and literacy are behind, but she can manage a good part of it all (when explained well, differentiated for properly etc)
nevertheless, she is in a school that caters for 'severe ASD', and she will stay there as long as we can fight for the place. beause what does need managing is her anxiety, her stress levels, and her tendency to extreme passivity when anxious (ie she would sit down, shut up, not bother anyone but not learn anything either!). now that she is int he 'right' environment, she is learning, and comfortable, and doing really well.
we were told several times that she was not 'severe enough' for:
the SN nursery placement
the ASD base
any amount of 1:1
when we started to prove that she could actually learn, the argument flipped - she could only be put into a SN PMLD school (ie they accepted what we said, but not fully - they were placating us with a 'hmm, yes, we see you think your dd can progress, but thee is no proof of this in a school setting. she'd best go to the generic special school, as the differences in her behaviour between home and school are extreme'(not in a bad way - she reacted and interacted at home, and withdrew at school))
when we bit the bullet and put her into the school we knew would work for her (luckily we could just about afford this), and it did work, the acceptance from the LA ws comlpete - 'oh yes, she is clearly in a place that works for her now'/
but initially, we were laughed out of the room for wanting such an extreme placement - 'oh, but she is not nearly 'severe' enough to go there. that's for children with serious challenging behaviours and learnign difficulties' etc etc.
it's all horseshit, tbh, and only goes to show that mostly, the people tellign you these things don't even know their arse from their elbow.