Would you consider private school for hfa?

[lisad123]

Dd1 is 9, has dx of HFA since 5. Her current school is trying but failing. They are about to go into special measures, the head has left, senco has taken over and So cancelling meetings with us because she doesn't have time. They spend their time making sure not to upset her and so don't give her the extension work we requested because she might get it wrong = upset. She's G&T and bored.
We looked at a private school yesterday and applied for bursary help. The classes are very small, each childs work is individually set an there is an autism specialist as the senco. We would give up all ed phy support and autism advisory support. Are we mad considering this? She would be the "poor kid" and the "different" one. The schools moto is "it's ok to be different, it's ok to be me" which I love.

Depends how good the services you would be losing are. I assume she doesn't have/need a statement? Are the private school aware of her difficulties? I guess so if you know the SENCo is an autism specialist. Will she miss friends? What about your other DC? What about secondary?

Questions questions.

The services aren't great. They make suggestions but nothing major.
Yes school know of her difficulties and there is another HFA girl at the school already. The school goes all the way till age 18. Dd2 needs alot more input so couldn't move her as her needs are alot greater, especially around behaviour and s&l.

zzzzz

She has one friend at school, but she has a friend at the private school.

What would DD2 think? Would she feel a second class citizen, or would it be over her head? I'm not one for everything being equal, myself, TBH. More that they all get what they need.

I keep crossing. It sounds good for DD1, TBH. (Pushes down irrational socialist bias.)

I took dd1 with me on a visit. She loved it, especially the separate art studio and the small classes. They aren't a massive well known school and the deputy who showed us around was very nice and the children all seemed very happy.
Senco also has a son with asd

Does she have a statement? Could you get the private school named in part 4. HFA seem so diificult to place in the state system that there are a few on this board who have won independent placements.

My worry re going it alone privately is that if later on redundancy hits and your financial circumstances change the grief involved involved in going back to the state sector with a change hating ASD child and a potentially uncooperative LEA might just finish a family off.

If you are financially secure - just do it!

She doesn't need a TA or any salt now. They have two with SN that I know of, one with cp and one with HFA.
We can only do it if they offer us a bursary which is means tested.

And no statement.

What Bochead wrote.

I would also ask if there is a statement in place for your DD. EP support may be of help when it comes to statementing, autism advisory support do not have a lot of clout within some schools and they can only make recommendations.

You need to bear in mind as well that private schools do not fall within the remit of the LEA so act under their own devices. Some private schools are certainly not accommodating with regards to pupils with any form of SEN.

I would go along unannounced subsequently and more than once. Try also to speak to some of the parents.

Is this school also geared up to taking children of secondary school age?.

What happens re secondary, that is only a few years off really and it will be soon upon you (as an aside my son is now fast approaching Y9, where has that last year gone?).

How do you feel about applying for a statement?.

thanks for advice. No I really dont think she would get/need a statement. Yes the school is geared up till end of education.

No I wouldn't tbh my SIL did just that in a similar sort of set up dn would have been far better off in a maintained school with a statement. Yes they managed him, spoonfed him GCSEs and A levels (2 very poor passes in non academic courses) but did nothing to address his non academic needs, his social difficulties, his SALT and OT needs probably because SIL wouldn't acknowledge them either.
I would pursue a statement dd has one with no behavioural, significant social or any academic difficulties (she's exceptional apparently) her current school is brilliant, I'll use the statement to secure the best secondary school for her and if that doesn't work I'll go to Tribunal to get her into an independent specialist school (already know which one )

no significant social difficulties that should be

The thing is school taht she os currently at dont address those issues either. As for statement, I really dont think she would get one, i seriously dont have the effort left in me to fight the LA. One of the mums at school has just been fighting LA for her sons statement, and its nearly killed her.
Thats very selfish of me but I need to be strong enough to manage the 2 girls disorders and dh too.
They have said they are happy to do transsion work with her, have her visit during school holidays to practice walking from one area to another, visual timetables are already in place, have done a talk with the class about autism and how it effects child they already have there, and will do photo books with people and places, SENCO is texted by other HFA childs mother with any problems as a heads up, so she can deal with it there.

I think you have to do what's right for your family at the end of the day. For me that was to get the statement, get the best school (not our local school but oversubscribed out of catchment) and ensure that her needs are met through the statement.SIL for her own reasons (she does tend to think if she ignores things then they will go away or if not pay enough money and the difficulties won't be mentioned) chose a different path.FWIW SIL believes that she did the right thing, that she has an AS/HFA son with no social skills. no independence skills doesn't concern her because she will keep him with her at home which is what she always wanted tbh (she has "ishoos").

Dd1 has social issues of course but in all honesty she comes across as a very quiet, slightly off hand child but is always friendly to anyone and everyone likes her (not that she cares). No s&l issues but has emotional issues which camhs are hopefully going to help with.
We do alot to encourage her independence such as giving her tasks in supermarket, dropping at gates, helping cook ect.
I guess I see school as helping her educationally and my job to help with social stuff. However, think dd2 will need a statement

And I see school as a place supporting the parents to meet the whole needs of a child not only educationally, but socially and emotionally as well. Dd never has an IEP target addressing an educational need because because she has no educational needs as she is more than able enough to match and exceed her peers.
I wouldn't be sad about dd2 needing a statement tbh IME far better to have needs significant enough to merit a statement that gives you as a parent a legal right to demand her needs are met than to have needs and be left to the mercy of school action or school action plus.

Move her. If I recall right, you're not in an area known for excellent and easily accessible LEA support for hfa-related needs. State with SA+ support is theoretically better, but at least this school won't try to hide her difficulties from your private ed psych if you need to seek a statement later. If for example, a dc fails to cope spectacularly and miserably in year 8 despite a tiny supportive school, that's evidence to stop her being dumped with no help, right into a thousand-pupil high school. Which otherwise might well happen in year 7.

There is no secondary school in this town I would send her too our nearest has 3000 pupils, but all the secondary schools here are massive!
And yes the LA I live in is awful