Would you bother recording this in home/school book

[claw4]

Ds came out of school upset, he was upset because he had been told off by 2 different teachers (i assume he was told off more than once at different times, so must have done it more than once) for kicking a boy under the table. Ds says 'i didnt kick x, he is my friend, why would i kick him'

Ds is passive to the extreme and i very much doubt he would kick anyone intentionally (although obviously i wasnt there, so he might have)

However he has poor postural stability and muscle tone and he bounces his feet up and down constantly when seated (in a strategy to build up his tone when seated according to OT) He also has limited body awareness.

School have numerous recommendations from OT, which they choose not to follow, so i doubt his class teacher is even aware that he has difficulties in this area.

Would you bother mentioning this in home/school book or i am just going to come across as 'over anxious' or precious?

Oh gosh, its hard isnt it?

I am sure your ds didnt kick the child intentionally.

Perhaps you could ask your ds if he wants you to mention it? If not, I would leave it. The school sound pretty crap wrt your ds's issues tbh

x

I think it would depend on how upset he is.

If it has ruined his day and he is likely to be reluctant to go tomorrow, then i would.

I expect he has probably said that he didnt kick his friend and there is nothing like a child speaking for themselves for inflaming teachers!! Two teachers does sound like overkill though doesnt it.

Your poor ds, if he is anything like Dd3 she wouldnt dream of kicking anyone but is quite likely to fall over, stand on or collspse in a heap on them.

If he doesnt seem that bothered i would leave it. You could see what he is like in the morning.

Good luck.

I would mention it. It builds up a picture of how your ds' actions can be misinterpreted, and how he is unable to explain to his teachers (or, if he tried to explain, how he is misunderstood)

I put in dd1s book last week that she was upset at home when telling me that her tutor hadn't helped her to unpack her bag. Now I know exactly why they didn't help (she is capable of doing it herself) but if they don't know that she was upset by this, it could end up leading to all sorts of behaviours with that tutor, and they would not know the root cause. I didn't expect them to do anything overtly, but I felt it was information that was needed as part of the whole picture.

Dd1 is quite passive too, and may not always speak up for herself - I see the home/school book as an extra chance for her to have her say (although I realise I am only getting her view of the situation!)

Thanks Becaroooo, even he did, which i doubt, it would probably be because they do not follow any of the OT recommendations ie things such as movement breaks, a daily sensory diet, a pad for his chair to stop him swinging his feet about, weighted lap thingy, a personal work station etc, etc, etc.

Maybe if he kicked a few more children, they might take notice!

Ineedalife, im not too bothered about him being told off, im more concerned that they are telling him off for things that he cant help doing, especially as the are not giving him any help to stop him from having to do it iyswim.

Ds is overly compliant and one of his worse fears is someone thinking bad of him. He suffers with high anxiety too and this is just the kind of thing that will keep him awake at night. He will lay in bed thinking about what he did 'wrong' and 'how rubbish he is'.

He didnt speak up for himself, he wouldnt dare, that is what he said to me.

Oh it makes me so mad! So many parents of SN/SEN dc go through hell to get SA and then schools just ignore them! Arrgghh.....

Thanks Silver that is the kind of thing i want to do.

1. If he kicked the boy intentionally, it is probably due to sensory difficulties and they need to follow OT recommendations.

1. If he didnt kick the boy intentionally, same as 1.

It all amounts to the same thing, i want to get across that i dont want to get into a debate about whether or not he kicked the boy or whether he was told off about it. Just that it amounts to him needing some sensory feed back.

Oh and i would like to do this without sounding precious!

Becarooo, exactly school basically ignore all recommendations, whether that be LA or private, as ds is so passive and doesnt cause anyone any problems.

Yet despite knowing that ds is so passive, when it suits, he is being aggressive, rather acting out of character and any of his difficulties being responsible.

I will join you in a

sigh...ds1 is the same claw

It has taken me years to get them to recognise his issues - just because he doesnt throw chairs and bite other people does not mean "he is fine"...

Arrghh....

As the others have said - yes do tell them - things get ignored and diagnosis are not understood and then your child is the one at fault - it makes me soooo cross. This happened so many times to us we felt we would have got further speaking the bloody class guinea pig!
Spacial awareness, hypertonia, dyspraxic issues all account for problems with bumping into/past/off other things - including other children and adults.

Children who are passive become agressive when they realise that they have been unjustly treated AGAIN, and it becomes the last straw, just as it would be for anyone, but as they are already constantly watched and assessed this then becomes another of their 'issues'.