Demand avoidance - how to treat/parent.

[magso]

Did not want to but in on another thread but have read on other threads that parenting and support needs to be different for PDA than ASD. My ds (12) is diagnosed with a whole list of letters (hes got more than me- ASD ADHD MLD) but the most difficult aspect is his demand avoidance and associated anxiety/ panic when challenged. I wondered if reading up on therapies/ parenting for PDA might help me manage my childs demand avoidance. I realise that my son is not Dxed with PDA - well none is as it is a new diagnosis not accepted in my neck of the woods. Any one any experience to offer or reading to suggest? Thanks

Like Hothead, I always offer a choice. I also always give dd a chance to earn things back if the consequence is not immediate although I try to keep the consequence to the same day. I try not to get dragged in to an argument as that fuels it and will refuse to speak to her for a set time (she won't do time out anymore). If its something that she really needs to do, like a bath or hair washing/brushing, I link it to something she wants to do. So if she's going to the cinema or ASD youth club the condition is that she does it before she goes. This only works if the treat is immediately after otherwise it doesn't work! it's hard because dd13 doesn't care about punishments, rewards or money so not much to play with! I hope it helps x

Thank you Hothead and sazale. It sounds like you both do what I instinctively find works too. Ds is motivated by money at present ( for the tuck shop at his new school) so I can use that to get ready for school. Baths only get done if a later bed time is allowed ( ie the bath delays bedtime - then a good soak can be acheived) but basics like tidying and homework are a constant battle. Thanks I will look up Schram.