Dear God, I need help :-(

[LovelyLovelyWine]

DS (7) has AS. He has terrible behavioural problems, violent temper, complete refusal to submit to any kind of authority, constant angry outbursts.

I am at my wits end.

He has a Statement. He has a place at a resourced provision, where frankly it is a miracle he hasn't been excluded due to the level of violence against staff and other children.

He had a year of psychotherapy with CAMHS, which didnt have any impact at all, and is now having weekly sessions with a psychologist who also advises the school and works with us. He has weekly SALT for social communication issues and we are trying to get him OT, too. Nothing seems to be working. he seems to be getting worse.

I know he is young. I know there is time to help him overcome these issues. But good God, I am tired and despairing. I feel like the worst mother in the world. I am worried about the effect his behaviour is having on our younger child. I am frightened he will be excluded. I am fearful for the future.

Tonight he punched me, told me to fuck off, threw his computer across the roo and spent an hour screaming and trashing his room because he didn't want to go to bed. Our neighbours came over to complain and it just felt like the final straw. We are completely ostracised as it is - have lost family and friends over his behaviour.

My poor boy, why is he like this? What can I do to help him?

Risperidone is an anti psychotic and therefore isn't given out lightly. It may not be suitable for your son. My ds started on it aged 9 - he started with very small dose and was checked regularly for side effects etc. Within a few weeks was calmer and much less aggressive towards me and less anxious overall. He is still lively, demanding and very difficult but it has certainly helped. Might be worth a look or hold it in the background if other measures don't work.

We are in a similar situation, ds is 4.2, has a nt twin brother and a dx of Autism and his demand avoidance is sometimes off the scale, which results in the types of behaviour you describe, and for me is the most worrying part. It keeps me awake at night.

Ds ECAP support first broached the subject of PDA with me...as the "usual" methods were not working with him, and like you when I looked at PDA, it did "fit", but then so does Autism. That said I am still not sure as to whether the demand avoidance warrants a different dx of PDA, or is just part of his Autism.

What IS imprtant to me, is not the dx, but finding the right methods that work for him, both at home and school. In our case, methods we were using were not working... so I bought the following book, and have started using the methods from the book, and very slowly we are seeing some minor results, it's early days though. I have given a copy of the book to his school also.

www.amazon.co.uk/Understanding-Pathological-Avoidance-Syndrome-Children/dp/1849050740/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1335888371&sr=1-1

ccgi.pdacontact.org.uk/forum/index.php

DS is due to start ms this september... and so far school are being fantastic and putting all the right support in place. I do however believe we have chosen the best ms school available for his needs. Whether ms will be the right fit for him... well we shall see.