Year 1 target: "to express his own opinions at circle time"

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www.mumsnet.com/Talk/primary/1461852-how-do-I-work-towards-DS2s-target-of-to-have-his-own-opinions

Hello everyone

I posted this in primary education but as ever would appreciate your views.

Why don't you practise Circle time round the dinner table at home. I find teaching dd1 social manners works best when she has a plate of food in front of her and its relaxing! Work round the table with someone pretending to be a teacher/in charge and ask everyone what their opinions are on the weather, football, etc etc anything like that. With a bit of practise he may pick it up this way

sorry, should add DS2 6.8, receptive language delay +sensory issues.

the teacher did promise in our meeting to try to do some Hanen-style "say less, stress" techniques.

I agree with some of the replies on your other thread:

• give positive reinforcement (acknowledgement/praise/massive praise) when he expresses his own opinion about anything.
• start off with limited choices, then widen out.

Open-ended questions might freak him out - he just might not know how to answer them.

In my ds's case (HFA) when he was 3yo he didn't know how to answer the question "what's your name". Now he's 5yo and has progressed an enormous amount, he still struggles with questions which are open-ended/abstract. I can imagine him doing the same as your ds, and copying his best friend. (I'd consider this a good strategy for my ds but of course we're in a very different situation from you.)

I'd definitely ask the teacher to start with questions that are more either/or.

Also is there any chance the teacher could give you the list of topics they will be covering at carpet time? If you know what the subjects are you could start chatting about them at home - not to 'prep' him on what to say, but to get him interested in the subjects and hearing all the different things to say about them (you and ds1 could model this for him?). If he knows a bit more about the subjects being discussed he'll probably have more understanding, more motivation, and more confidence.

Ask a question that you know he will be able to answer, but for which he has a different answer to others round the table.

What's your name?
What's the name of your favourite toy?
If you could choose one pudding, what would it be?

When he is more comfortable about giving his own answer, rather than repeating what someone else has said, you can gradually introduce more complex ideas

Tell me some thg that makes you happy?
Where do you like to go if you're feeling sad?
When was the last time you hurt yourself?
How do you show friends that you like them?
What do you like about yourself? Etc.

Can he be given choices of answers? eg Which colour do you like the best, is it green, red, blue or yellow? It will still be his opinion in the end but the answers are there for him to pick one perhaps.

Do you think that this objective is a priority or do you think that a teacher with little SEN training is trying to come up with something to say at parents evening? You know your child best if this is something that really is important then follow some of the advice in other posts. If not then either suggest a better objective to the teacher or smile and nod ignore the school's advice and work on things that you want to.

lol sotiria, it is the elephant in the room isn't it?

I think that at the very least I need to show willing, if only because the teacher will naturally feel more positive and more interested in DS2 if he feels we are following through on his targets.

but you do wonder - DS2's weakness is in informal and unstructured social situations and formal role-play games are not going to help with that are they?

still thinking sotiria,

I think it works like this:

• Ds2 leans new formal skill (expressing opinions at circle time)
• DS2 starts to feel good at it and more relaxed at circle time
• DS2 therefore starts to handle the little social interactions that happen in the "nooks and crannies" around circle time a bit better.

That seems like sound thinking to me. Go for it.