Normally I'm a really witty helpful, creative person who cracks on taking whatever life throws at her and with a smile or a dance.
I've just spent an hour blowing snot bubbles and incontrallably sobbing down the phone at some poor woman from the Autistic Helpline. 08008004104 by the way.
My ds was diagnosed in Feb this year with Aspergers, ADD, Dyspraxia and Dyslexia after 8 years of being told to 'just discipline him better'
Bringing him up has been hard.
It's getting harder.
He's just had his 3rd exclusion in a school year and is one and seven eighths of a foot out of the door.
I couldn't carry on in my role as a 'chipper and peppy' Retail Advisor and deal with ds so I left work.
This is a massive step, one that has me waking up in the middle of the night going 'er, what in hell did you just do, woman' but its a decision I felt I had no alternative to.
My son needs me.
Actually what he needs is someone who understands him, and why he does the things he does and can explain why he can't just help himself to whatever he wants or why he must wash and keep himself clean and concentrate at school. But all he's got is me.
It seems I can't get income support without a carers allowance award, which of course I can't get until the DLA make their decision. Which means I could be looking at the next 2 months without a penny. As someone who has paid tax for many years and as a single parent, I didn't know this could happen in a civilised society. Hence the sobbing to total strangers. I just can't stop. I'm alone with a vulnerable and challenging child, nowhere left to turn, and the hopelessness of it all is whats killing me. Please tell me theres someone out there who has been through this and come out the other side, or just someone to say, try this. Would be a great help.