Do I give DD a script for talking to other kids?

[WordsAreNoUseAtAll]

Reposted from chat because someone suggested it - I hope nobody minds :)

DD1 is in reception and is "a loner" according to her teacher. I have always known her to be, well, not shy, awkward is probably the word for it - if she wants to play with a child, she goes up to them and stares at them (which upsets them) or says, for example "do you want to play with me? I am playing hide and seek, I will hide and you count" and then runs off to hide without the other child having said anything. Quite often the child was already playing a game of something else.

The teacher says she has tried to set up games where DD1 can interact with other children in her comfort zone - eg reading to the other kids - but that as soon as the task is finished, DD wanders off.

I wasn't all that bothered before, because she didn't seem to mind playing by herself - she kind of happilly potters about at home or bosses the two year old around. But now she has started having nightmares - last night it was that she was being chased by a tiger and nobody cared, and then the tiger ate her sad She also says that she doesn't like playtime because it smells of dead pig hmm The teacher says she spends the time wandering around the edge of the playground by herself sad Last night she said she was sad because her friends won't play with her any more. One of the friends (although the teacher told me that she doesn't really have any) lives near to us (I only know because I do Avon and saw her when I collected a book from the mum) so I said we could invite her to play and her little face lit up smile

Now I am worried that she will spend the time either bossing the other girl around or being odd (we love her oddness btw, she is really finny and clever, but other kids don't seem to appreciate it) so I thought I would give her some little scripts to use when she doesn't know what to say. She has a good memory so she could remember, but whether she would adapt to what was going on I don't know.

She has one friend who lives in my old town - one of my friend's 4 yo daughter, but she made her cry when they were both sat in a museum victorian classroom and DD told her friend that the teacher would hit the children and lock them up. DD didn't understand why this upset her friend, because it was true, but how do I tell her not to scare her friends?

ARGH. Poor DD is getting upset now when it is time to get ready for school sad She has also started having tantrums like a toddler.

I would HE her if she said she didn't want to go full stop but she adores her teacher and loves the work, and is convinced that the other children will play with her one day, they are just being naughty now.

So...ideas?

This is really tricky. We gave DS a few scripts that bs learnt and applied a few times.

But you have to start with the very basics which is statement-statement.

I.e
Peer: my dad drives a red car
DS: my dad drives a blue car
End of convo

Peer: I'm drawing a kite
DS: I'm drawing a rabbit
End of convo.

You can practice and practice this and then move onto statement-question I.e

Peer: my dad drives a red car
DS: how many seats does it have?

Peer: I'm drawing a kite
DS: what colour will it be?

I have been practising little conversations with my DD as she is quite socially inept and would say quite random things to her peers. I play schools with her and do some role playing so eg. I fall over and cry and get her to help me and practise little convos.
You could do this but perhaps have one doll or teddy being a little rude or aggressive and act out how it makes the other doll feel etc.
It all sounds quite basic I know but it is quite effective.

There are also some good books on amazon for kids about making friends.

Can you invite the little girl from down the street for a play date and just help out with the social interaction side of things and intervene if you think your DD is abrupt etc?

HTH a little anyway.