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Could DS2 be on austistic spectrum? Please help me..

7 replies

quofan · 11/02/2006 18:29

Hi all, My son has been 'different' to his elder siblings, basically from day 1. He hates change, I cannot buy him a new coat cos they are all different to the one he likes. If I take a different route to school he gets very upset, if he sees class mates outside of school he gets agitated too, although he will sometimes interact with them at school. I am the only one in the family that can kiss, cuddle, dress, toilet, prepare food/drinks for him, but if he is at my mums or sisters he will ignore me. It is the same if he sees grandma/aunty at another house other than their own iyswim. He is very picky about food and has a limited diet. He will not poo in the toilet as this terrifies him. He still gets a nappy on for a poo, and still gets distressed. I cannot cut his hair, brush his hair, clean his teeth, cut finger or toe nails - the list is endless. He is obsessed with the hoover and adores the washing machine. He is 4btw. Head mistress says he is pigeon holing things. What does this mean? She asked if it was just bad temper but I feel he gets genuinely upset. He objects loudly, then crumbles and sobs uncontrollably. HV thinks all his problems are my doing, but when he shoved a TicTac up his nose, the Dr that tried (but failed) to examine him was exasparated and spat at me "This child has serious behaviour problems YOU need to sort out". I am at a loss here. All the doors I have knocked on have been slammed in my face and I am just about at the end of my tether. I feel somethings not right, but I dont know what. All advice would be greatly appreciated. Oh he also has a fixation with guns and has also killed one of our gerbils. He seemed to know what he'd done and realised that it was not just an accident. He came and said to me I just kill the gerbil. I was horrified. Just don't know what to do.

OP posts:
coppertop · 11/02/2006 18:40

Don't let the HV bully you into thinking the problems are all your fault. In any case, if you were really such a terrible parent then how come your older children don't have the same difficulties??? Grrrr!

It's impossible to say from reading posts on here whether someone is on the spectrum but I would ask for a referral to see a developmental paediatrician. The system seems to work differently depending on where you live but they should be able to arrange for your ds to be assessed by a group of professionals to see what the problems/difficulties are.

In the meantime it's a good idea to write down all of your concerns about your ds, and also add any info you can remember about his general development.

The SN board is a great place for advice and support so keep posting here too.

Davros · 11/02/2006 19:00

Agree with CT. Don't be fobbed off and don't be made to feel its your doing. Write things down, starting with your post here. I found that an informal diary I kept in an exercise book turned out to have the most impact on the professionals!

emmalou78 · 11/02/2006 19:57

Hi.
Like its already ben said, twice, you need to write everything down...

His behaviours, your concerns, how long you've been concerned etc etc etc.

Don't let HV or GP's fob you off, keep going, keep asking, its a sad reality that a lot of children who are on the spectrum aren't getting the help they need because their problems aren't being recognised or acted on...

You can ask for [as many times as it takes!]a referral to a developmental peadiatricain and a peadiatric psychologist, your school will be able to refer you to the educational psychologists.

a mothers instinct is very rarely wrong, go with your heart and fight for your boy.

good luck x

tobysmumkent · 11/02/2006 21:57

Message withdrawn

lars · 12/02/2006 13:24

quofan, just read your thread my ds is now 8 yrs and I've finally got the diagnosis ( second opinion). what you describe sounds very similar to my ds and he has ASD. Please, please trust your insticts, you know yourself when something is not right and don't be fobbed off. I have an appointment with my ds doctor in a few weeks and I can't wait to say I told you so. Most of the time they don't appear to do all the right assessments I'm afraid and don't see what you see all the time.
My problem with ds got worse around starting school, he just couldn't cope and faced many exclusions.Good luck larsxx
Please keep us posted on how you get on.

lars · 12/02/2006 13:29

Just had a thought try the autistic society they can give you some really useful information regarding signs and tell you of doctors in your area who can clearly make diagnoisis of ASD, your GP may be able to refer you on the NHS. larsxx

Socci · 12/02/2006 13:49

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