Advice please, not sure if I am being precious re: swimming lessons which last week I was chuffed with.

[peekabooby]

So last week I posted how pleased I was with ds (8) 121 swimming lessons. This week I am unsure, need a bit of objectivity.

First of all I know I am feeling sensitive as my 7 mth old nephew passed away on Mon from meningitis. (just to put in context why I may be a bit over anxious)

First lesson last week was good, he screamed the pool down when he was asked to put his head back in the water (which he won't do in the bath) but his instuctor wasn't fazed and obviously he can't learn to swim without putting his head back.

Beginning of lesson, she asked to put his face in the water a few times, forward, sidewards, backwards he complied no fuss although he has never done this before.

He had been complaing that the long wormy looking float had been hurting him and I explained that he needed it to learn and he was fine. She used that and a float and ring armbandy things. I could hear him complain that the armbands were hurting and the next thing he took them off and obviously went straight under.

After that for the last 15 mins he was just screaming and crying, let me out, don't touch me, your trying to kill me etc. At the end of the lesson he swam to the edge and unlike the previous week were he used the ladders to climb out she made him, pull himself up on the side of the pool. Whcih increased his meltdown.

She commented to me that he had said the rings were hurting and she had told him to take them off, because he has to learn that he will go under, i am a little unsure of this, she didn't say to him, you will go under if you take them off just Ok take them off.

He was hysterical all night that he had nearly died, she had let him drown and he is never going back.

I know part of swimming is to learn how to react when you do go under but it just seemed a little harsh imo Am I over reacting?? or was I wrong to sit there and watch him so distressed??

Also the only info she has is that he has AS, we havent spoke only as above, he has immature motor skills, lots of sensory issues and doesn't have much stamina, I feel bad for not discussing these with her but presumed as a 121 instructer she would have knowledge about other issues children with HFA/AS can have.

Thanks if you got to the end of that. Any advice

I very much doubt a swimming instructor has any clue about sn unless they have direct personal experience. Even on most class teacher training programmes, there's very little time spent on sn issues

Is he ready for swimming lessons, or might it be better to just play in water for a bit longer?

I agree with Purple. I would have a chat with her and explain about your DS's difficulties so that she really understands. It can be very simple to see the AS label and maybe even think you know what it means, but its hard to know on an individual level without knowing the child?

Do you think he will go back?

Gosh, that doesn't sound good at all - I think even without ASD it would be traumatic for a non-swimming child to find themselves going under water without any control or warning. I know my NT DD's wouldn't have liked a shock like that when learning to swim; there needs to be trust between the child and instructor.

Could you find another instructor? DS's is fantastic; she's experienced in teaching children with special needs (and is also a TA in a primary school) and DS has come on in leaps and bounds since he started one-to-one lessons with her.

You weren't in the wrong, either - sometimes these things take us by surprise and when they've never happened before, it's not always easy to know what to do.

I'm so very sorry to hear about your nephew x

He is deffo ready for them he is 8 and he enjoys being in the water.

Well she has 12 years of experience of 121 swimming instruction but maybe she mainly deals with more obvious disabilites. If I can talk him into going back, I will make sure I have a good chat beforehand and take it from there.

pm me if you don't want to answer on board,

but where abouts are you in the country?

are you anywhere near a disability swim hub club who could help either by giving suggestions to your 1-1 teacher or recommending a teacher who has experience with additional needs?

disability hub clubs are new and slowly getting set up around the country and are helped by the ASA

Firstly, I am so sorry to hear about your nephew, it must be devastating for all of you.

You are obviously going to be feeling sensitive, but I don't think you were over-sensitive with this. Any child, nt or otherwise, would have been frightened by suddenly going under the water. I suppose you could argue an nt child might see the logic that that's what would happen if you took your armbands off, but anyone who says that a child needs to have a fright and go under the water to 'understand' is just wrong imo.

From your last post it sounds like she sells herself as a SN swimming instructor - is that right? It could well be that she is good at overcoming physical barriers to swimming, but doesn't have a clue when it comes to autism. It's easy to forget just how little most people know about ASD when you live your life with it every single day.

Could you perhaps just do some fun sessions going swimming/paddling in the shallow pool with just you for a while to regain his confidence and then see if he wants to go back?

My ds has similar sensory, motor and stamina issues to your ds and did school swimming lessons for the whole year last year (so age 8 to 9). He loved it, but needed someone in the water with him 1:1, both for physical support, but also in order to understand and take in the instructions. None of the teachers were specifically SNs instructors, but they were amazing with him and never made him do anything that might frighten him or make him feel like he wasn't completely safe. He was still using full body floats by the end of the year, but was confident in the water and had to a large extent really improved his fear of splashing and getting water on his face (so much so that he's desperate to go in the hotel water-splash area at Legoland soon). BUT as I said, it took a whole year of 1:1 to get him to that point and the first few weeks were just about getting him to feel safe. The other children all did the 'put your face in the water' thing straight away as well as having a ball splashing each other to get used to how that felt, but they didn't make ds do it until he was absolutely happy to do so.

Has she confirmed she has knowledge/experience of teaching people with disability? If not I would not assume she has. You don't have to have any special qualification to teach 1x1 - just a swimming teacher qualification (ideally a level 2 qual) Check with the centre swim co-ordinator about the teacher's experience, there may be other teachers with better experience (I know our local pool has a real range) and the local disability club trains there too.

Talking to the teacher about the specifics of your sons AS is important so they know how to adapt their teaching technique to give him the best tuition (what gets his attention/what distracts him etc) As important is absolute patience and a calm approach from the teacher. You all have to agree to take things slowly and breakthroughs will happen.

And you're not being precious, you want the best for your child and swimming is a very emotive activity as it has safety and pleasure so closely bound together you cant help but want it to go well (whatever the circumstances).

Chatee Do you have any details of a swim hub in Kent? THanks

I agree with what others have said about people not really understanding ASD.

Dd3's swimming teacher admitted that she knew very little about it and asked me to email her with some info about it.

I did and she took the info on board and is fab with Dd3. Sometimes i worry that she pushes Dd3 too hard but if she thinks Dd3 is not understanding her she comes to check with me.

Maybe you could try writing your Ds's teacher some info about your ds because it is difficult to talk around the pool and at the start or finish of the lesson.

Fwiw, i think that she was bonkers to allow your ds to find out the hard way what happens when he removes his armbands. I have 2 Dd's with ASD and niether of them have ever learnt the hard way!!

She needs to update her knowledge.

ben10 will pm you