Hi - regular but have obviously name-changed for this. Here is a copy of an open letter I sent to the local newspaper where I used to live. I have not heard a word from them - perhaps it's too controversial!
We have had really awful experiences with two local schools and wish to speak out in the hope that other parents may be able to prevent their children being treated in the same way as our son. These schools preferred to deal with him as the ?naughty boy? rather than a child with difficulties whose needs were not being met.
He was a very advanced speaker and at age 2 knew long words and spoke like an adult but had social difficulties. When he started at Infant School things were fine to start with ? he enjoyed himself. Gradually, over time, he became very unhappy. He said he had no friends and no-one would play with him and that he couldn?t understand what the other children were saying as they were ?babyish?. He would get very frustrated and angry by this but instead of helping him and encouraging friendships the school isolated him from his peers. He was kept in a small playground with older children which made him even more unhappy. He remained there for up to a year although we didn?t find out about this until our son had left and he felt that he could speak out about it. When he was eventually allowed out of the small playground he had to stand no more than 2 feet away from a teaching assistant or hold their hands when playing. This was no fun if you were playing hide and seek as everyone could see where you were. As you can imagine this was hardly improving his social skills. He started to display behavioural difficulties and we were once called to collect him, which we now know was an illegal exclusion, due to his behaviour. A long time afterwards our son described how 4 members of staff had grabbed him, carried him out of the class and put him in what he called a cupboard but was in actual fact a small ?calm down? room. He was only 6 and obviously terrified but only told us about this when he started at the next school as he thought ?all schools were like that?. The school did not disclose the full details of this incident or their use of restraint nor was it logged on any of their records. He has had to have counselling to try to overcome the trauma of this, had nightmares for a long time and still talks about it now, several years later.
When Ofsted arrived to inspect the school we received a call to collect him as he was ?poorly? with a sore eye. We picked him up and were surprised to see that he seemed fine but took him home anyway. He later told us that he hadn?t complained about feeling ill ? the Head Teacher had approached him and told him that he should go home and she would call us as he wasn?t ?looking well?! On the second day of the inspection he was given a ?job? of stacking books in the library to keep him out of the way.
These are just a few examples of how the school cared for our child with Special Needs. Whenever we tried to discuss any incidents the Head Teacher would deny everything and say that our son had obviously misunderstood or was confused. She never responded to any complaints in writing which we now know was to avoid anything being logged and leaving a paper trail. Unfortunately we were naive. He was our only child and we trusted the school to do their best for him and believed what they were saying. This school was rated ?outstanding? by Ofsted.
Our son eventually started at Junior School and all was well for a couple years. However, when his social and behavioural problems began to manifest again their support began to wane. Bullying was a regular occurrence however the school denied this and implied that our son was imagining it. Not enough was done to help him and he would get angry and retaliate resulting in him being kept in at lunch or break time rather than those doing the bullying. We were repeatedly told that support was being given to him but was aware that this was often not the case. Eventually we requested a Statement of Special Needs ? a legal document to get him the help he desperately needed. The school told us that we wouldn?t get this but after a battle with the Local Authority we did. We were overjoyed by this, expecting lots of strategies, social skills training etc. to be provided for him as recommended by the various professionals who had assessed him. The school was given funding to employ someone to support him ? we felt that things were looking up. Unfortunately, 3 months after being awarded the statement, there was still no extra support being given and he was not receiving the 1:1 support he should have been as the Learning Support Assistant had not even started working at the school. We met with the Senco to query why he was not getting this help to be told that he couldn?t be removed from the class for these sessions until after the SATS exams in a further 4 months time! I think this shows what their priorities were ? putting exam results before the needs of a child. After we complained some support was grudgingly provided but not to an acceptable standard and at irregular intervals.
They once devised a great strategy to help with playground incidents ? a box was spray painted onto the playground for our son to stand in to ?calm down? and have time out. As any parent of a child with social difficulties knows you need to get them away from the source of any incident quickly not let stand them there for the other children to laugh and stare at them. We immediately complained and were told it was a ?misunderstanding? and not for our son?s use even though he had been there when his helper painted it and put his initial in it! We knew by now that the Head Teacher was losing patience with our child and were confident that she would exclude him if she could. She did ? funnily enough it was in the week after the SATS rather than before the exams.
You may be reading this in disbelief but unfortunately it is all true. We just wanted to make you aware that although your child may seem to be getting the right support and school tell you that they are doing this that it may not be the case. Please obtain evidence that they are doing what they claim to be for your child, write letters and keep all paperwork in case you need it in the future. If you are not totally satisfied try to find a school that will help your child - don?t believe all that you read in Ofsted reports.
We now have a happy ending, of sorts. We moved away to a different county and the care given to our son by his new school has been outstanding. They always do exactly what they say they will ? no false promises or fob offs. He has full support, lots of 1:1 sessions and has friends for the first time ever.
They called professionals in straight away ? no waiting months to see anyone. Already more has been achieved in a term there than in 7 years at the other schools! All of this should have been provided for him years ago and the new school admit that they are now having to put right the damage caused by the previous schooIs. We feel angry with ourselves for not seeing everything that was going on at the time but we trusted them. We gave a lot of support to these schools not realising how little they were giving our child.
If your child needs support please do all you can to ensure that they get it. You know your child best, trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, question it. In the current climate budgets are being cut and less funding is available for those that need it so you have to fight for every little bit of support. Early intervention and strategies are key to helping children who may have lifelong difficulties and if our son had been given the right support it would have made a massive difference.