Please don't flame me :(

[MamaMaiasaura]

I coming to accept ds is very likely on the asd spectrum and each time I read something on these that describes him so well, I tear up (actually crying now). I've known ds2 was different, I couldn't go to toddler groups as he hated them, was obsessed with doors, hand washing and not wanting to interact with anyone else. I ended up doing 1-1 and seeing friends with kids in calmer smaller settings. Preschool flagged issues and tried to exclude him from nativities which is when I agreed for inclusion officer to be involved. IEP has helped with social and ds is doing so well. I have an old thread re preschool, and new one today re latest thing being planes flying over house. He's have SALT and referred to see dr due to poor eye contact and high intellect.

I'm reeling a bit and feel so upset for him. I know this is who he is and I love him dearly and all his quirks too. It's just, as much as I love him, the idea of someone being cruel to him for his differences makes me :-( Is it normal to feel this when child has needs? And what is dr Appr likely to be like?

Wow! I am impressed! We were told at the first paed appt that he was certain he was either HFA or AS, but we are still waiting for that official dx. I am moving in with you!! :D

Why would we flame you? We've all been through the pain of realisation that our children are not as we expected and the unknown is frightening. You're posting where people understand and remember those days even if we have differing opinions as to whether we would remove the disability if given the chance.

bentfinger so she wrote her report and said she is certain he has HFA although to be treated like aspergers as that is how he is presenting. Is that then an official diagnosis?

My letter says "I can confirm that after the panel meeting DS has a diagnosis of ASD (AS)".

I'd call the secretary and ask her Mama. It does sound like it is a dx letter tbh similar to one that another poster had that didn't actually say dx. It was one though.

'I know this is who he is and I love him dearly and all his quirks too.'

Then as a parent and as a teacher I'm telling you that this is the best thing your DS has going for him, and that although you are shocked and saddened and a bit afraid of the future, you sound like a fantastic parent to me.
You see him clearly and love him. What better backing for a child than that?
The more you learn about how the spectrum shapes his understanding, the less bewildered you are likely to feel.
Welcome to the board BTW.

Everyone's great around here . I have been about a few years under various names and the support is brilliant. We still don't have a dx after years of trying but hope to get one soon. Even though I know I'm going to be upset about it, it will help as ds has so many difficulties it will be good to understand more and hopefully enable us to access the right support. What you're feeling is perfectly normal and will take a while to come to terms with - take care of yourself.

Thanks for kind words. I have letter infront of me (read it so many times). It's quite long, 2 full side of a4 basically going through our meeting. It was addressed to SALT and cc to us, senco at infant school, preschool and gp. To quote her final paragraph it says "I am very sure that xxxx is on the autistic spectrum at the high functioning end. I do not think that he has aspergers as he had very slow speech development. However in many ways he is presenting as a boy with aspergers and could be managed as such". She then said we should have IPAD meeting for school transition, a book with photos etc, Teach approach at school and visual timetable. She recommended we looked at the agony Attwopd book on Aspergers syndrome and contact local autistic society ad national autistic society. She plans to meet again with us soon.

Attwood's book is great, I bought the condensed version for school.

Well done on meeting the first hurdle and a big one at that. You should be proud of yourself that you have helped your lovely son. He now has a key for you to use to insist on him getting the appropriate help. What a great mum you are.

Take one day at a time. Tell people when you are ready and if you want to. You need quality family time to absorb it all first beforehand.

We are all here to hold your hand along the way x