Austic ds and not winning

[ben5]

thats about it really. He really hates to lose although we have exaplained to him he can't always win. This evening ( in Oz) ds1 whos 8 and ds2 whos 6 and austic were playing football in the park opposite our house. I was sitting in my front garden watching them.

Ds2 lost a goal and started crying,getting upset and saying it was all ds1 fault. Yes he wasn't that quite but it was 5.30pm and it went on for no more than 2 minutes. Those of you with austic kids know what kind of paddies they can have!
One of the people who also live opposite the park shouted at my ds's saying they don't need this kind of noise on a Sunday evening.
This upset my sons.Making me now not want to let them kick a ball in the park in case ds2 gets upset.
How can I get my son to not get so upset.? I have tried the ideas Austism society have given me but I seem to be on a losing battle myself at the moment.
Maybe this is getting to me more as dh is away at the moment ( navy) and it's nearly the end of the Easter hols and I've had no rest bite in this time and I'm tired.

If it really was only two minutes I would tell my neighbour to get over it (or something more polite...)

My brother has Asperger's Syndrome and used to be terrible when it came to losing. This will sound really horrible but we (my brother is the youngest of three and my parents, other brother and I really worked together for him) found that a combination of exposure to losing and making time for things he could 'win' at worked. We never "let him win" (I work in special education now and autistic 13 years who have never lost at anything in their lives are....challenging) but we did things we knew he would beat us at (in his case: mario cart racing game in particular).

We also limited the time spent playing things he would lose so there wouldn't be such a build up of frustration.

Ignore your neighbour and carry on doing what you are.

First of all, the person who lives near the park can do one. How's that for polite? Honestly, you live near a park, you'll hear children playing. If it bothers you, move. I cannot believe they made an issue of it.

As far as winning goes, can he play short games like tic-tac-toe or card games? Or something basically that you can do in a "best 2 out of 3" or "best 3 out of 5" scenario? Then he can get used to the idea that losing a game isn't the end of it all. With any luck it will transfer into other games....

Not a clue if it will help, mind. DS2 doesn't care WHO wins (although he's very excited when he does), as long as SOMEONE does. Games where there is no clear winner annoy him.

Love the best out of 3 etc. will try that . thanks guys

My ds is 7 and has ASD and also hates losing. He thinks hes the best at everything, that he will be in the olympics when hes older, winning a gold medal of course! And then he will be a superhero and save the world!!

Its not easy, sports day at school was painful (for me and him) but he did win the running race (phew!) It has however got easier and he will just sulk now if he doesn't win. He, at least, no longer throws himself on the floor and have a full blown meltdown much to the bemusement of those around who know nothing of his ASD.