Insecurity and sensitivity in Asperger's DS: can anyone help me?

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My 10yo DS has Asperger's and is extremely insecure and unsure of my love for him. He will tell me that he loves me about 30 times a day and is constantly asking me if I'm ok. When I ask him why he does this he says that he is not sure if I'm angry with him, which to me seems completely nutty as I'm almost never mad at him, as he is a sweetheart and a genuinely nice kid.

He is also overly sensitive and will cry at very small things whilst at the same time saying "I'm not crying. I'm not crying!!" which would be quite comical if it weren't so sad!

He has a lot of learning difficulties, in Maths and English. He has an LSA but he deeply resents this, thinking that he doesn't need one, when really he does.

I wondered if anyone had this problem with their Asperger's DC as although I do my best to reassure him I'm getting a bit worried that such clingy / insecure behaviour will not be warmly received at secondary school, or if anyone had any advice on how to handle this.

I think it's the difficulty of reading faces at play here, he sounds very like my DS 15 ASD, it's either the best day in the whole world or the worst day of his entire life, he sets himself very harsh rules, he once stated in June that he was not allowed to smile until Christmas day! He's always grounding himself too.
He does the compliments to everyone and will buy gifts for people rather than buy things for himself. My DDs have ASD too but they are very very different.
We get the death stuff a lot, their Dad died almost four years ago from cancer and was I'll for a couple of years before that, it's quite usual for Elliot to ask people if they are ill or going to hospital, if they are going to die.
I bet mr bean is very popular with lots of your children, I use it to talk about emotions as it is so exaggerated and slapstick it works very well.

Yes , Onlyjoking, Mr. Bean is indeed a very good example of exaggerated facial expression making it good for ASD kids. So sorry about your lovely dh-how awfully hard on you and your dcs.Life can be so cruel cant it?. Tears pouring down my face here having looked at your profile! > and some .

Thanks Georgetta, we are all doing ok, I'm engaged to a mighty fine man who has two children, we all get on very well, he knew a bit about autism before we met, he knows a lot more now!
Star wars is popular here, all of the Lego playstation/wii games, Horrid Henry STILL very popular here, DS is really perfect Peter, but he would so love to be able to be Horrid Henry! DS is so formal and couldn't ever possibly contemplate breaking a rule, like Henry so blithely does.
Obsessive things I'm not sorry to see the back of....
Thomas the tank engine
Pingu
Barney
Sooty and fecking sweep.

Ds has HF asd (Aspergers really) is articulate and communicative. Good reader. Hopeless at maths.

He's now been diagnosed with OCD. It started as insecurity/anxiety and just developed steadily into constant high anxiety and obsessions. He now compulsively checks whether I'm ok/angry/upset and has a continual need to apologise for HIS PERCEIVED bad behaviour. He is an absolutely lovely child, very kind, very caring.

His consultant psychiatrist has said that this behaviour is typical of those high functioners on the spectrum.

Same her Onlyjoking, ds would also be a 'perfect peter' and would never contemplate breaking a rule . Horrid Henry was big in our house for a long time also. Eliza22, my ds is very same-extremely articulate and communicative,great at reading and not so great at maths. I am also starting to see a little OCD creeping in which I am trying to deal with in a casual /dismissive way at the moment and really hoping it wont become full-blown! Sigh!

This isn the biggie for us well, ds constantly says sorry when he hasn't done anything, your mad at me, you hate me, I am a naughty boy. He is so passive and well behaved, it is like ground hog day and he will repete these every day all day.

I have tried explaining that unless I tell him he needs to apologise, or he has done something that he doesn't need to apologise and I am not mad with him. Hasn't worked at all. I told him I was going to ignore him as I wasn't sure if I was feeding the cycle by responding to him that didn't work either.

DS1 loves living in his pyjamas and he's still 5 so I guess I had better get used to it! He will whip his socks anywhere and everywhere and I suspect there are many sock orphans still waiting to be found..

I thought he might outgrew these behaviours - maybe not!

Peekabooby and Pennyanne...... Am sorry to hear that. It's seems it IS a common feature of asd.