i was feeling so positive

[saladsandwich]

someone saw ds (3y.4m) the other day and when they left i felt so positive, he as just this month started playing with his toys so he was sat playin with his octopod still not playing with his figures though properly, he was really good while they saw him and hes made such progress since they last saw him a year ago.

today he as been such a handful, he is going through a stage of refusing everything, i can't get him to leave the house, everything is a battle. he was 1hr 20mins late for nursery today because he wouldnt get dressed, put shoes on, coat on, walk to nursery ect. hes getting too big for me to force him and hes breaking me, he is refusing to do anything i say, he ended up in a high chair in the local cafe so i could just eat my dinner.

he jumped in a massive puddle bum first, then every puddle after, pulled his trousers down in the cafe and flashed the other diner's, got to my friends and he was ok at first but then something set him off and he curled up in a ball in a corner and refused to move, he then sat playing with a baby toy and it was painfulwatching him try figure it out but he'd master it then do it again :( then refused to leave my friends house got home and he just jumped all over, threw my cushions all over.

i am losing patience every day theres a battle to get him to leave the house, if tv is on he as to finish his programme first or theres screaming fits, i dont know if im spoiling him, if its him, if im going wrong somewhere but our lives are impossible. he will lay down in the street and not get up, if we are in a rush what do i do?

I'm sorry salad. It's so difficult.
Has your son got a diagnosis?

My patience hangs by a thread. Some days I literally have to drag myself through the day, my dowagers hump getting worse by the second.

Can you physically lift him? I don't know what to do if you are in a hurry. I'd end up shouting! Not great.

Sorry to hear you are having a rough time - we all go through them so please dont feel you are on your own.

Have you tried using sand timers to give him warnings. We use one in the mornings and any time we have to go out to show how soon we will be leaving. It was hard work at first but DS is just getting to the stage where he understands and is okay with that.

Do you have any support? Do you have a SN buggy for going out in? (its been an absolute life saver for us)

You might want to think about using a visual timetable and a first and next board. Just to give him the ideas of what's happening next. Keep things simple. Sand timer to tell him how much tv is left to watch.

I agree with now and then boards - ours was a life saver. We started it simple so it was just the two things.

thankyou just needed a whine he's been full on today, hes got no dx the community paed thinks everything is secondary to his language but his behaviours gone down hill since he last saw them, SALT can only write a report on what he can't do and not what he can do because he won't engage.

i do tell ds whats happening because he does have good understanding, he can follow 1 instruction and behind the pronunciation and short sentences the vocabulary he as got is imo fantastic (i think) i do find he is abit better with warnings bt he hates leaving home so i warn him we will be leaving after X and it sets him off.

i can lift him if i have nothing else in my hands but hes heavy im 5ft and hes 3ft 5" hes also 16kg when i pick him up he goes floppy or like a stick :(

hes got a medical appointment soon, i dont know whether to raise concerns then see if they can help, our commnity paed is useless only support we get is from the health visitors thats it and i feel they think its me

Do you have any support groups in your area?

Does your DS enjoy cartoons? We found a morning tv rule worked well with our 3 on school/nursery days. The rule being, breakfast, change, ready for school as soon as you can, and you can watch tv until it's time to leave the house. They were a little older then your DS, but it still might be worth trying - only works if the TV is completely out of bounds until they are ready to leave the house :)

Ah! I read you last post and see he doesn't like leaving the house either. Not had that problem with DS3 but he used to get upset by traffic noise, or changes to the route to nursery/school.

Can your DS articulate to you why he doesn't like leaving the house? If it is noise, I have heard of people using headphones or earplugs to help.

thanks for replies, i tried asuport group but felt isolated and i had someone comment "well he looks fine to me" so felt like i shouldnt be there, the folk who run it are so nice so i think i may give it another go.

ds doesn't like leaving the house because in his exact words "want to play cars/octonauts" that is all i get, it was cars up until last week now its octonauts.

today as been far the worst day i have ever had today, how i have not resorted to hitting i will never know because at times i have really felt like it. i've been with a friend today and she could not believe how bad he was.

our day:
SALT - ds refused to do it so it looks like he will be discharged hes got 2 more chances 1 at school and 1 at home, i cannot fault the SALT she tried her best today, because he hadnt done the work he couldnt have 1 of her toys out (its for after hes done the assessment cards or he wont do them) ensued a 1 hr public meltdown, i had to carry him kicking and screaming over 1mile, he lai on the floor refused to get up, i cant carry him far because he flops but puts his arms in the air :( i could feel myself getting angry with him today

he then had a melt down when i got him to my friends(her house was closer than mine) because he wanted her pushchair ?? , carried him home from friends to get his pushchair just to get him to dietician and he was abit calmer then but still not happy, had his dinner at local cafe and he was no angel but no tantrums, got him home where he as been a nightmare, jumping all over, hitting, nipping, pushing, ignorant, crying, wanting everything not sharing (unlike ds so maybe a development phase)

wits end today truly i am x