Help! Autistic 2 year old can climb out of playpen/cot

[whenwilligetsomesleep]

Posted this on another board but a kind mumsnetter has sent me here :) I really need some help from anyone who has been in the same position. I have an autistic 2 year old who is physically very able but has no comprehension of language (or sense of danger). He does not talk at all and doesn't understand tone of voice eg. if I say no. I am on my own with him for most of the day and (as any other human being) I sometimes need to put him in a safe place while I go to the toilet or run his bath. For this purpose I used a playpen literally for 5-10 minutes a few times a day. Last week he managed to launch himself out of it and land on his head. It was very scary and upsetting especially as I had thought that he was safe as he is within the age/weight range of the product. I got rid of that one and bought a sturdier one with higher sides. I have seen him try to climb it and essentially if he wants to get out he will and soon. Equally his cot has the same length of sides. Although he sleeps in a gro bag which mostly stops him climbing. But if he wanted to he could throw himself over the sides. I have put an inflatable mattress on the floor in case. This is all causing me so much stress as I HAVE to leave him for a few minutes to go to the bathroom and I know he isn't safe. At the moment I am doing so and running round like a headless chicken incase it happens again. I should be clear that he cannot be left in a room on his own as he jumps on things and throws himself off risking injuries. So does anyone know of a product for his age group that would provide a small safe play space and wont bankrupt me? Any advice would be appreciated (and before you ask, no he wont just wait while i use the bathroom, he runs off or destroys the bathroom. Also I cannot modify our property as we rent.

When our autistic ds started climbing out his cot (well, he kindof vaulted out of it as he too was in a sleeping bag) we immediately had to put him in his own room on a mattress on the floor.

It was quite distressing for us all. He had shared a room with his big brother but there was too much stuff in the room that he would stim with and just wreck it.
We hav a wee single room which his wee sister was in that he went into. So now his big brother & wee sister have to share a room which is not great but what can you do?

Ds is in a wee room on his own with nothing in it except a bed. We have a stairgate on the doorway.

Even if your place is rented they surely must allow you to put a stairgate up? And just start off with a mattress on the floor. We have nothing in the room, but maybe you could have soft toys, then it doesn't matter if he throws them.

We also use a double quilt on a single bed so we can tuck it right under the mattress at each side so it doesn't fall off.

Good luck.

I leave the door open/ajar when I go to the loo. It will help when you come to toilet train him if he's seen adults using the toilet. Likewise when you run the bath can he come in with you?

I get the impression you are feeling isolated. What support network do you have?

Yes both our kids sleep on a mattress on the floor. And we keep the bedroom very plain, with clothes and books tidied away in a big cupboard.

oodlesofdoodles. I leave the door wide open and he would be more than welcome to stay and/or watch me run his bath but he doesnt he just runs off and jumps on the furniture. I don't honestly feel isolated so i'm sorry if that came across. I have family, friends and a partner but they all work full time so i have him in the day.

coolaskimdeal I appreciate you sharing your experience. That certainly sounds like a possiblity.

oh dear, that sounds really stressful!

Do you have a room in your house where he would be safe for that short amount of time? If so, could you maybe use stairgates for the doorframe- if needs be two on top of each other to make it higher and unable for him to launch over it? Do you have some sort of outreach worker whom you could ask for ideas as well. I dont live in the UK so my situation is different, but here I would ask our ds' social integration worker for advice.

I am sure some others will be along with useful advice soon!

sorry, I always get distracted and end up taking so long posting my messages...I started when there were no replies and look at it now

my ds was climbing the cot before he could crawl, i ended up shoving the cot up against my bed so as he vaulted over it he landed on my bed. if i had to go upstairs/toilet ect ds came with me, he would sit in an empty bath playing with a plastic train just for 2minutes while i had a wee lol, we bathed together till he was 2 x

Sorry if I went off on a tangent there. IME being home alone all day with someone who doesn't interact very well is pretty draining.

Back to your question, you are describing sensory seeking behaviour. I recommend that anyone with a child on the spectrum reads 'the out of sync child's by Kranowitz.

No cheap options but you can get expensive extra large cots and something called a safespace and you can ask for the social services OT to come and assess and advise you. Usually they will want you to clear a room and just put a mattress in before they will fork out e.g. for wall padding or safespace.
When I asked where I was expected to put all DS clothes, toys etc the OT said well if its really a problem you would find somewhere else.
But your OT may be more helpful than mine.
It might be worth a try. Its the one via social services you want - they can also advise about car seats, harnesses etc

Take with and lock the bathroom door, and make sure you have all toiletries etc out of reach. You will be able to see him and hop out of the shower. Turn the thermostat down so that if / when he runs the hot tap, he won't burn himself. Put something he might be interested in on the floor, and go for it. Or shower before dh goes to work, or put laundry on when he comes home etc.

Tbh most parents go through this at the toddler point. Later on it is entirely possible that you will be funded for safe space etc, but usually later than two. Nt 2 yos are also not expected to have any sense of danger / do what they are told/ be left alone etc.

I know it's different, but I think you might have to work round it for a year or two.

It may also be possible for you to get a nursery placement early if you are struggling for long days alone. Dd2 got two mornings a week form her first birthday. Worth asking your sn hv.

Thanks for all you advice. Will chat to DH and come up with a plan :)

Hi my ds is 11 has severe autism and no sense of danger. I sympathise with you as i know how it is cannot leave him fr even a minute, need eyes on back of your head. My OT got me a smirthwaite hard rock chair, which has strap to keep him in and tray that can be used for small toys, food etc. Think its really expensive though social worker or OT should be able t arrange. This is a godsend to me gives me time to make dinner, got toilet etc when im home alone with ds.