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Original poster

DS has safety helmet and people wont stop staring!!!!!!!!

25 replies

butty · 09/02/2006 13:15

Hi All,

I'm finally back online after having glandular fever!!!!

Anyway, i need some advise as getting really pi**ed off and annoyed at people staring at dylan like he is an alien!!!!!!!!

Last week, we recieved his safety helmet thingy majig of which he has to wear at all times except bedtime due to his very poor balence and his great determination to walk independently although he never stops falling over, hence the helmet!!!!

Yesterday, he walked from the car into the playground at school holding my hand, and people were staring at him and then chatting with one another and then turning back round and staring again!!! It happened in the doctors also this morning, when i overheard one women say "if he isn't safe to walk, then he should be in a wheelchair"!!!!!!!!!

The other day when we went for a meal, one child came over to talk to chloe and then took one look at dylan and ran away crying!!!!!

I dont like the fact that he is a talking point just because he stands out a bit from the norm.

Please tell me things will get better as i thought people weren't as bothered these days about kids being/looking different.

Dylan will have the helmet for a substantial amount of time, maybe even for life and i am so scared of him being circled out of the crown when he is older.

Butty.xxx

OP posts:
Lacrimosa · 09/02/2006 13:18

Im so sorry people have been so bloody horrid to you! I personally would confront anyone that said or acted like that, but I am not in your position , so I hope things settle down soon and if anyone else is so rude just post their address and all the MN will sort them out for you, im sure. X

Saker · 09/02/2006 13:24

I'm livid thinking of what the woman said in the doctor's - how dare she when obviously she knows nothing about it .

People in the school playground and who see him regularly will get used to it. Maybe you should mention to a friend that you have noticed people staring - I did that when everyone stared at Ds2 in the major buggy for the first time and the word soon gets round and makes them feel a bit ashamed of themselves and to stop doing it.

You are giving your son the chance to participate fully and I admire his determination to do it in spite of the bumps. I'm really sorry that you are both being treated like that.

Original poster
butty · 09/02/2006 13:25

Hi Lacrimosa,

it sounds like a good plan, but then i would look as bad as them, and i dont want to lower myself to their level!!!

i find it more hurtful than anything else as i really did think that it would be classed as "a none starable thing" in this day and age.

Oh how wrong was i!!! I didn't even contemplate on what people would be like as i just didn't figure it to be a problem!!!!!!!

Not all people are like that though, so i feel sorry for the few that are, but it still makes me angry that they have nothing better to talk about or point out other than my little boy!!!!!!!!

Butty.xxx

OP posts:
Lacrimosa · 09/02/2006 13:28

I wish I could do something for you I didnt think people were like that anymore and like you I wouldnt think twice about it, I just hope it helps your son enjoy the freedom he has and to hell with the rest of them! Good luck x

Original poster
butty · 09/02/2006 13:30

Hi saker,

their are a few mums that i get on with and they know about dylans disabilities, but as he doesn't really have any specific facial features IYKWIM, people dont have a clue, as it is only now that he is getting older that people are seeing he has problems.
We get his major buggy in 2 weeks so that should be fun

Butty.xxx

OP posts:
buzylizy · 09/02/2006 14:20

I am so sorry people have been so horrid. My dd has a blue padded helmet that she is supposed to wear when on the floor(school and respite)
and people have stared but to be honest they seem stare what ever whatever Remeber it's just because your ds is beautiful and theya re just jealous(that's hat I tell myself.)

coppertop · 09/02/2006 14:25

Some people can be so ignorant and thoughtless.

FioFio · 09/02/2006 14:34

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macwoozy · 09/02/2006 16:54

I can't believe how people can be so insensitive, they should keep their big mouths firmly shut, they are absolutley clueless, not surprised you're so annoyed.

anniebear · 09/02/2006 19:22

That is so awful

I suppose they are going to have a quick look if it is something they haven't seen before (not saying they should though!!) but there is no need to make any comment. Who on earth do they think they are

bet you felt like smacking them one, I want to on your behalf

Davros · 09/02/2006 20:35

How horrible! No wonder you're upset and its not easy to retort when you are upset. Fledglings do t-shirts that say "There's No Need To Stare, I Know I'm Cool" and, for kids who use a wheelchair "Wicked on Wheels"!!!

Socci · 09/02/2006 20:54

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dizzy34 · 09/02/2006 21:12

oh how awful for you. people stare at harry when he has seizures and i hate it. wish i had some advice for you but i never know how to deal with it myself. i should take a leaf out of my dds book (age 11yrs) she just says "his names harry and he has epilepsy, do you need anymore information or are you just going to stare".

Bethron · 09/02/2006 21:40

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Message withdrawn

Original poster
butty · 10/02/2006 09:30

thanks for all your messages.

the physio called yesterday to say that they were ordering his made to measure helmet and asked if i would like it to be the colour of his hair????

I asked her if they do any other colours of which they do, so i said "royal blue as he has a colourful personality!!!"

Either colour and they will stare, so he may as well look cool and funky and really give them something to stare at!!!

From now on when people stair, i'll tell dylan to do his all good sign at them which is thumbs up, their faces would be priceless!!!!!!

Thanks once again for your support.

Butty.xxx

OP posts:
Lacrimosa · 10/02/2006 09:32

I hope he loves his royal blue helmet! Sounds groovy, good luck with the idiots! I would love to be a fly on the wall at the 'good sign'! X

Original poster
butty · 10/02/2006 09:35

Thanks,

I am deffo considering getting one of the T-Shirts mentioned earlier in the thread, and then he can be sarcastic in his own rights and still look funky in the summer, when he will be out and about all the time!!!!!!!

Butty.xxx

OP posts:
Lacrimosa · 10/02/2006 09:36

I love the T-shirt idea! it might actually make people think twice the next time!

Davros · 10/02/2006 21:01

I got some badges recently from the NAS that say "I'm Not Naughty, I've Got Autism" and I've put one on DS's rucksack. I wonder if they'll do t-shirts too.

macwoozy · 11/02/2006 18:27

I've got 'Autistic Escape Artist, stop me please! Emergency information on reverse' badge. I'm going to use it when we go on our hols in case he does a runner. I bought it from Ebay, she has a shop called autism awareness uk, she has all types of tshirts, bracelets, stickers and badges with different wording, she also has 'I'm not just naughty I'm autistic too' Tshirt.

Davros · 11/02/2006 19:02

Is she the one who sells things with the old cliche "I Love SOmebody With Autism"? I think my version is MUCH better, especially when you know our kids like we do, which is "Somebody With Autism Loves Me"!

kreamkrackers · 11/02/2006 19:41

how horrible for you. i get stared at when dd's sick as she has gastric reflux and it really does fly out! it's a horrible feeling i can't say anything to people, they never ask "do you need a hand?" they just stare. it's so annoying it really really gets me so
i hope your ds enjoys his new helmet. the t shirt idea sounds great but you shouldn't need to result to him wearing a t shirt to stop the staring. hopefully the stares will calm down as people get used to seeing him with his helmet. also very at the woman in the doctors comment, you're doing your best at trying to let him be independent and how dare she say something like that.

Piffle · 11/02/2006 19:46

Butty you would think in this informed world that people would presume that a child wearing that kind of helmet was prone to either fits or falling.
FGS some people astonish me with their lack of tact and their ignorance!
DD narrowly avoided a helmet, she is shortly going to get glasses, so no doubt glasses on such a little lass will provoke a few looks too.
PS ARe you any closer on a dx on a syndrome or anything Butty?

DebsCee · 11/02/2006 20:22

Butty

My DS (18 months) has a large and facially disfiguring birthmark (which will be gone by the time he's 10) which makes him stand out, to put it bluntly! My DH got a load of different tops and T-shirts made up with his own slogans. These are a few -
"It's SO rude to stare"
"One day I'll look better, but you will always be rude!"
"Yes...it's a birthmark"
"Just call me handsome"
and my personal favourite -
"Ugly - yes you are!"

They don't change anything but they sure as hell make going out in public more fun and that little bit more bearable and actually seemed to make people brave enough to ask about him.

Original poster
butty · 13/02/2006 09:39

Thanks for your messages.

Piffle,

I am no nearer to finding out anything for dylan as the waiting list for the genetesists is humongous, they have assesed but now waiting for next appointment!!!

i have been told it is usually a 6 month period for which they do everything.

for now, i am quite happy with every thing and i almost feel like i dont want to know if he has any syndromes as some can shorten life expectancy and i deffo dont want that. He is my boy and if severe GDD and Hypo is all they can tell me, than thats fine with me, i give up with the what if's and what not's, i'd just end up worrying all the time.

When i no anything nearer i will post, although i am still waiting for the skin biopsy results 3 months later!!!!!!!!!!!!

Butty.xxx

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