Very upset at teachers ignorance!

[flowwithit]

I am extremely upset that my Ds has just told me before the holidays a couple of his teachers have made unkind and hurtful comments.
One said, 'there's nothing wrong with you you just make it up for attention!'
Ds was feeling v anxious in another lesson and didn't know whether to leave the room and that teacher said,' what's wrong with you have you got ants in your pants!'
I can't tell you how shocked I am and upset for Ds as these teachers were informed that Ds was having assessments and likely dx is AS. Since then we have had 2 formal independent assessments that confirm this.
My meeting with SENCO is on Friday but I am fuming at this ignorance. I will repeat these comments in the meeting.
Have any of you had this happen?
Should I name the teachers?
Can I ask for staff training? WWYD
I'm so upset!

I understand why you are so upset. The 'ants in the pants' comment was just the sort of flip comment that I might make myself (and regret afterwards). Suggesting to a child that he is just attention seeking is not at all helpful.
How old is your DS?
By all means get it off your chest with the SENCo but remember teachers are human. I am afraid you will encounter more of this and worse as you go through the system.

It certainly won't hurt to name the teacher and ask if they perhaps need some additional training. Point out that this type of comment is not supportive and can undermine the child greatly.

Speaking as a teacher as well as a mum of a sn child, I too would be very cross about both comments, there is no excuse for either one. I would discuss what they said, how they said it, and who said what with the senco...actually, I might discuss the comments with the head. I would also politely enquire as to whether whole staff training might be neeed, given the dx.

Sorry you have met with such ignorance and unprofessionalism...we aren't all like that I promise.

I would definately mention it and have a meeting with both HT and Senco to discuss possible training, suggest books to them to read even.

Children with AS can have very low self esteem at the best of times. And saying there is nothing wrong with you is an awful flippant comment when a child is battling inside and clearly there is something wrong. They need trust and supportiveness not direct oppinions that the teacher thinks there is nothing wrong.

You could well put it down to inexperience in the first instance. The ants in your pants comment wouldnt be good for my DS as he would look down his pants to check

What sensible advice coff33pot! @ looking for ants.

Flow - I would have to say that the first comment you mentioned, even if the teacher (completely wrongly I stress), felt this was the case, it was always completely and totally inappropriate to say this to the child....I am so shocked and angry about this on your behalf. Added to that the fact that the teacher is clearly wrong in her "comment/belief" combined with the low self esteem which coff33pot describes the results potentially very damaging. I wouldn't let her off with an inexperience excuse, speaking as a former manager of a large primary school, I would be delivering a serious lecture to that teacher, and maybe issuing a formal reprimand, as well as sending her on a course about ASD. I used to work in quite tough areas of birmingham and this kind of attitude was jumped on very quickly when it came to light.

My DS only got 2/20 in a maths test in yr 5. Teacher brought him to the front of the class to 'name and shame him' then told him to 'crawl back to his desk'.

Phoned the head teacher and she asked me to put it in writing as a formal complaint. Seems what teacher said to DS was the tipping point. She is no longer working at the school following her disciplinary hearing.....

Her defence was she was only joking, but as coff33pot says, children with low self esteem don't need this. I would definitely mention it to the head teacher.

nothing WHAT!!!! that is outright bullying. I am glad she is no longer employed!

Flow A book called Ten Things (got it from amazon) is a book I sent in after reading it myself. The HT read it and said it helped her understand and she lent it to the TA who said it helped her. The teacher.........well she was one of those who wasnt interested at all as took it that I was trying to tell her she was getting it wrong..................I was but in a polite way :)

Its written by a mother of a child with autism but helps you understand from inside the child rather than out. Its simple and I read it it an hour.

www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_4_10?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=ten+things+every+child+with+autism+wishes+you+knew&sprefix=ten+things%2Caps%2C260

There you go :)

I would take this very seriously indeed, keep a fully dated record of everything that is said and see the head.

Dd had similar comments made repeatedly in her hearing re her physical condition while she was at junior school. She is now at a very supportive secondary school and has much better medical treatment than she did, but is school refusing and on medication for severe anxiety. Her anxiety is totally focused on the idea that "they won't believe me" even though she knows, with her head, that that isn't true about this new school.

I wish I could have my life back - I'd keep proper records and get things dealt with!

Only just able to look at the thread.
You are all so good with your replies thanks!
I think I defiantly need that book for school coff33 thanks.
I know it's not all rosey and many of you would of come across this kind of thing yourselves.
It's heartbreaking and frustrating when you know how much your ds is struggling and some teachers behave like this which can undo all the hard work at home and make ds have a horrid weekend too. I don't have dates when these comments were made because ds just told me but I know who made them so I will discuss with senco. Luckily we have just taught ds'ants in your pants' so I hope there was no checking!

I used to help with swimming at Dd3's old school and when her class were getting changed she was the last one to be ready. Bearing in mind she has poor co ordination and sensory issue which the teacher knew about i was shocked to hear the teacher say " Come on slowcoach" to her. I gave her such a look, i hope it made her think about what she had said.

I would definitely report the teacher to the HT.

That is outrageous from the teachers Flow. I would be in there shouting I think .