DS attacked another child whilst in respite yesterday

[devientenigma]

whilst it is wrong what he did, I am not looking forward to collecting him. Respite phoned to let us know and said they had to inform the other childs parents, which is fair enough. However they don't know how it happened as they didn't see it. So knowing my son, I know he attacked dc, there could of been a few triggers as to why he has done it. However who's to say dc didn't attack my ds 1st. DS won't/can't relay what happened should anyone blame him for something he hasn't done. Yet he has been reprimanded for something not seen. Not that being reprimanded makes a difference as no punishment has worked so far for different reasons. Although knowing DS this whole incident could put him off respite in the future.

Obvious question - why the bloody hell didn't they see it?

If your son can't/won't explain what happened, they really should have been supervising more carefully and ought to take a degree of responsibility for the situation.

I would be questioning them reasonably closely about this. Are they aware of things that may trigger him?

Hopefully its an opportunity to sort out what they should be doing, what they are not doing etc and have a really good analysis of what is or isn't happening. Not that its an opportunity you would seek of course. Odd that they are certain of what happened but didn't see it, so how do they know? I would also bring that up, they need to sort out their supervision, reporting and behaviour management. You might find the Challenging Behaviour Foundation useful. Whatever happens, it must not be an excuse to remove your DS from respite, that is why he needs it (and you) fgs.

Oh dear, what a mess. I think I would be asking about why it wasn't seen by the staff (and what are they doing to make dure it doesn't happen again); also if it wasn't seen how can they blame one child rather than the other?

dh went to collect ds and asked about the incident but the staff who were on at the time were not in. However when he came home and I have read the reports he has attacked a few other kids though not as bad and a member of staff. Apparently there have been no triggers and ds seemed relaxed. I have been on the CBF mailing list for about 10 year.

meant to say thanks everyone

If this is a respite for disabled children then I can guarantee this is far from the first time this will have happened and very unlikely to be the last. They just have to let you know, although they could have told you in a much better way, they shouldn't be using the words attacked.
I agree though in respite, why didn't they see it? If it was at night then I just about see how, but not during the day.

I suppose one good thing is that they actually DID tell you. I am sure a lot of incidents go unreported due to fear of criticism for not being vigilant enough, not managing behaviour well enough etc. I am certain there are some parents I know who can be unfairly critical don't get told sometimes if something happens because staff fear their reaction. Not good I know.........

devientenigma,I have had a similar situation with an adult ds.The respite facility were supportive,and discussed with me what the possible triggers may have been.In our dss case I think epilepsy and a hatred of a change of routine were the probable triggers.Its so difficult isn`t it and I would like you to know you are not alone.Respite is so very hard for our dc and for us,but we need it so badly,I know we could not carry on without it.The Manager of the respite unit assured me that my ds would NOT be removed due to his extreme behaviour,they put extra staff on and re-arranged shifts,also the Manager cancelled her leave to ensure continuity.The next time he went he was much much betterTake care