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SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

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Original poster

Sobbing 12 yr old DS with AS

9 replies

SallyBear · 10/04/2012 13:19

Joy oh joy oh joy. Howling DS "nobody understands me, I'm useless at everything, I have a horrible life, I have no friends, people call me a nerd and brainless" sigh.....
I sometimes think that I should home educate him, except that he needs exposure to people. I have talked to him this morning about organising himself and trying to find coping strategies together. It's so fucking hard. People (meaning his peers) can't see what I see; a sweet natured, well meaning, intelligent, disorganised and slightly clumsy but very handsome boy.

OP posts:

starfish71 · 10/04/2012 14:41

I do feel for you and your DS. I don't have much advice, as my DS 13 is going through pretty much the same at moment.

I hope you have a supportive school and that he can keep attending. It is very difficult if they are not coping, it is so upsetting. On a positive it is really good your DS is talking to you and telling you how he feels, keep reassuring and listening and I really hope he feels better soon.

Big hugs to you both, really do know how you feel. Just sorry I don't have any good advice x

Minx179 · 10/04/2012 15:31

Sally - I feel for you and DS, we went through a similar phase for a few years when DS was the same age.

Does he really have no friends, or does he just feel like he has none?

Does he socialise with mates outside of school, in the holidays etc?

What is he good at; not necessarily academically?

Can he access a school councillor to talk through problems in school?

Is it possible for you to home educate? Would your son enjoy it?

Does he go to any outside clubs/activities?

One of the reasons that put me off HE was that people said DS needed socialisation, would suffer if not at school. DS was also reluctant to attend any activities, those that he did he gave up after a short period, because he couldn't keep up, do what others did.

With hindsight I don't think he would have suffered being taken out of school, it certainly wouldn't have been any worse for him.

Original poster

SallyBear · 10/04/2012 15:40

Thanks Ladies. We are talking about it, I am trying to get him to moderate his behaviour a bit more, and to get him to think a little bit more about how he can help himself.
The Home Ed thing frightens me to death, as I don't think that I would have the patience to help him and I didn't leave school with oodles of qualifications. I also suspect that he may well be dyslexic, as his brain to hand coordination is crap. His writing is worse than his 6 year old brothers!
Sometimes being a parent sucks!

OP posts:

Spiraling · 10/04/2012 16:22

I wish I was HE'd (HFA and dyslexic). Struggled at school and had no friends, never worked it out, still v. disorganised. Manage to sort myself a bit more out at uni, get a job (well at uni!), married and two boys (ds1 - HFA,6), travel. Well ds1 at school and not only do i see him struggling in a similar way, but i feel i am regressing with the whole school thing (the social networking, const change etc just find it v. demoralising, isolating, horrible etc). I think school is the aspies idea of hell.

Life without school is/was so much better. You might find you have a v. different child. Find his passion and the social will come. I think i should HE ds at some point but agree that frightens me too much.

Mrsrobertduvall · 10/04/2012 16:51

I am sorry to hear this...my dd is 15 with severe ocd and I hate it when she has a complete breakdown about why she isn't normal, she's never had a childhood, I wish I was dead.
I find her school very supportive, more than any therapy she has had.
I'm finding hormones are playing a part too.....she is worse around period time.

Penneyanne · 10/04/2012 21:55

Same here Sally-ds turned 12 last week, AS also, and anxiety getting worse also.I think hormones are kicking in as well.No advice really Sally just wanted you to know you are not alone- another one trundling along blindly trying to do the best they can.

nothinginthefridge · 10/04/2012 21:58

With you on this one. Hugs to you as I know it's very difficult to deal with.

Just hugs with you DS if he'll let you, and as other's have said, bumbling along doing the best we can.

Original poster

SallyBear · 10/04/2012 22:19

Thanks everyone. We are bumbling along. I think a lot of it is hormonal as his twin sister is extremely volatile at the moment . It's just tough when you see the so upset and depressed. I think that the transition this year from primary to secondary school is really hard for kids, and worse when they have additional needs.

OP posts:

nothinginthefridge · 10/04/2012 22:29

Yes sally with you on that one. I have noticed a vast difference in my DS who has just moved this year to secondary.

I found at the first secondary that my DS went to that they had to do extended homework which usually meant going to each other's houses for tea (yorkshire lass, so not dinner), but they would always leave DS out, and surprisingly produced their work without any input from him.

Broke my heart [sad}

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