Secondary school, special school or mainstream?

[TheFeministsWife]

I posted this in SN education, but was recommended to repost here as I'll get more replies.

So my dd1 is 9 and in year 4, she also has ASD. At parents evening a few weeks ago her teacher said that we should really start looking for and researching ASD friendly secondary schools. It's something we have been thinking of for a while now.

DD1's ASD isn't severe and she is in a mainstream primary school who have been absolutely brilliant it was them that pushed for her diagnosis and they already had an IEP in place and she has been having lots of one on one long before her diagnosis which was just a few months ago. She has problems socially, she has a few friends but not anyone she can call a best friend, and she does spend at least one playtime everyday on her own, although this doesn't really seem to phase her. Academically she's very behind, on a 6 year old's level rather than a 9 year old, although her understanding of unacademic things (IYKWIM) is quite good. For example she has recently started to ask questions about sex (gulp) which is pretty much age appropriate.

So I have found a school which was on Autistic Society's website. It is a special school for Autistic children who range from severe to moderate on the spectrum. It is for 5 - 19 year olds and only has 120 pupils, althrough the ratio of boys to girls is quite high which does worry me a little.

So my question is do I send her to a special school (possibly this one for Autistic children) or to a mainstream secondary school?

My worries in sending her to a mainstream school are bullying for one, she's so different to other girls her own age, and I think the only reason she hasn't been bullied already is because she's grown up with her classmates and they've all just accepted that she is the way she is. But it will be totally different in secondary as she won't know anyone and teenagers can be very harsh and cruel. Other concerns are she's so behind academically I'm worried if I pick the wrong school she'll just get lost in the system and won't achieve any qualifications. Which in turn could possibly mean she may fall in with the wrong crowd (I know this can just as easily happen to NT children too) she is also very easily led and naieve, which honestly scares the shit out of me as she approaches her teens.

My concerns in her going to a special school are what if she does better when around NT children rather than children with SN what if being in a special school will then hinder her socially and won't at all prepare her for what life is like when she leaves school. (As in she will be so protected in a special school she will find it hard to cope with the harshness of the adult world). What if academically it also hinders her but TbH I don't really think this likely. Also there is still a possibilty she could be bullied when in a special school.

I think if I'm honest I'm leaning more towards a special school as mainstream secondary scares me so much for her. I know a lot of my concerns are "what ifs" and no-one can really know what will happen I'm just looking for any advice or experience any of you may have.

My ASD DC are both HF and are both at MS. The school has an excellent pastoral care system and whilst there have been difficult incidents and it took at long time to settle, both are doing fine now.

Where I live the SS only take ASD children with additional learning difficulties (eg non verbal, below average IQ) so this was not an option for us as they are both average academically.

As far as I know ASD is more common in boys so any specialist ASD school will have more boys.

Is there a local parents group? I found that this was the best source of information about schools to look at.

Does your DD have a statement? If not, you will not usually get any priority in admissions so depending where you live might not get a lot of choice. If your DD does have a statement the year 5 review is where transition plans are started.

I had the same dilemma last year as DD is now in S1. She got a place in a specialist unit (very limited places and only for children who might achieve Standard Grades) which is part of a large secondary school The unit is for ASD pupils and time in the unit is supplemented by time in mainstream. In some classes, she doesn't have any additional support.

They have their own sort of common room, where they can spend breaks and lunchhours, although access to this is open to other pupils who may be a bit vulnerable or have non specific needs that see them unable to mix socially.

I have some concerns academically, as she is struggling a bit to keep up with maths/science, etc, but will see out the school year and then decide if it is worth her continuing there, or transferring to a special school

I know exactly how you feel for im in a sort of similar situation apart from my DD1 has severe SLI ( learning levels of a 5yr old ) and she is 11 in july, im currently trying to find a school that is sutable for all my dd needs. if it helps make a list of each school with the pro's n the cons iygwim and then talk to ur senco and see what they think.

Ok I'm going to sound really thick now, but I don't actually know if she's got a statement. I have the report from the meeting where she was diagnosed with ASD, is that classed as a statement? Or is it something entirely different?

Sadly it's not a case of choosing where to send your DD... it's way more complicated than that.

If you don't know if she has a statement, it's safe to say she hasn't.. you have to apply (or school does) for statutory assessment then loads of reports are drawn up and if you are lucky a Statement of Special Educational Needs is drawn up (if you are in England) which specifies her needs, and the provisions needed to meet them.
However if your DD is 3 years behind academically she SHOULD have one... check and if she doesn't..apply. At 3 years behind I would imagine she may be classed as having moderate learning difficulties.

I don't know of a special school that would accept a child who isn't statemented. (My son who is 14 has ASD and moderate LDs and is in a special school, I also work in one , and we definitely don't have ANY non statemented children)

On the social side of SS... I have to say I have NEVER regretted my son going to SS. He is sociable in his lovely asd way and there he is he is an able pupil, he has friends, he integrates into mainstream (shared site) for a few things and he is well supported.. he will achieve as much as he is able, which is all I could ask for really. (we are very lucky, I feel)

I would start finding out all the options now.. if your DD isn't statemented, start the process as it will give you more options:)

Thank you. I've just contacted the council about having dd assessed for a statement, waiting for them to get back to me now.