Kathy Lette article re: aspergers

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I enjoyed reading this and look forward to reading her book. Thought other people might be interested. [busmile]

It was very good. Thank you!

Thanks for that it was a good read :)

She was absolutely spot on about everything in that article. It's fantastic when you read something about Aspergers and know the writer really knows what they're writing about.

I've got the book. Have started reading it and it seems a really good book. I

Me too LeninGrad, I was delighted to have the key to what was going on.
Namechanger here, but I have missed you, and was asking SGM if you were still around.
[busmile]

My DS is currently being assessed for AS. There will be no mourning for me also as I will be relieved. He is 10. I have done most of my mourning.However I think its a different story when your child is only a toddler and its a more sudden diagnosis combined with not knowing how his/her development will advance.

Have started to read the article but am struggling with dodgy glasses at the mo so will print it and read later.

I didn't mourn Dd3's dx either, we had been fighting for 3.5 years to gets her issues recognised so when the Psychiatrist said she was dx'ing her with ASD I nearly jumped off my chair. I said thankyou to her and she looked at me like I had gone mad..

Agree with lenin, Dd3 has always been expected [by family] to change her behaviour and now I can say, err No, actually you must adapt to help her, not the other way round.

That doesn't mean she gets to please herself by the way [well not all the time].

I know I've said this before but when I did more diagnosis than I do now I did a lot of work with families who were getting a diagnosis in KS2 and later and I think that relief was the predominant emotion. So many times they had been trying to understand for years and getting nowhere that it was just such a weight off their shoulders to finally have agreement from professionals. They already knew what was what.. With the little ones going through their first process, mourning and grief were much more prevalent and families tended to have a lot less knowledge that the condition would be long-term, so adjusting to this could be a shock. I often wonder if that's reflected here, too?

Relief is not something we associated with the dx, it was definitely grief, infact we are still grieving 6 months later, hoping we can change him somehow.
It is worse when the dx is given early because it makes you think, how severe my kid must be to get a dx at 2.5.? I know kids develop differently and interventions can make a difference but it is no consolation when you are faced with an uncertain future.

To be honest I think your body goes through all stages of emotions and everyone is so different.

Like now. Tomorrow we have the second and final manic trip to London and knowing that we are hopefully at the end of the road in the dx process the relief for that is overwhelming.

I need to know answers but at the same time I dont want to hear them.

There is mixed relief that a dx will stop the niggling doubt that its just me but there is the hope at the back of our minds that someone will just tell us its all very simple and they can take it all away. Such a chaotic feeling that flits from one to the other.

The way I can describe my feeling at the moment is that I am standing on a cliff edge. Everytime I dont get an answer, get fobbed off or even get 2 or 3 good days its like someone is pulling me back in limbo. When I get that dx that is the push that is going to put the stamp on things. I am not going to handle it very well and there is no point kidding myself.

My DS1 was Dx at 8 with AS, but we had been forewarned by the Nursery they (twins) were at that they thought he had Aspergers traits. I was devastated as my friend's son had AS and was (putting it bluntly) weird! It was the last thing I wanted for him, so I adopted the ostrich technique for 2 years or so, when it became really apparent that he had AS. Fortunately I knew the paediatrician from before so I spoke to her and she got him on her waiting list.
With my youngest DS4, I knew when he was 10 months that things weren't great. I spoke to her again at a clinic and as she respected my opinion we started the Dx process. He was Dx'd with ASD at 2 and Statemented at 3. I wasn't grief stricken this time. It's who they are. It's what makes them unique, challenging, funny, loveable, frustrating, gorgeous.

'the only subject they'll excel in is phoning in sick' yup.

Lenin maybe your child is so borderline that you know he will be part of real life, if a bit quirky?
I'm still grieving. Atm I feel I always will be. I'm not sure about 'funny and loveable'. This weekend I have found ds boring and demanding.
Dh reminds me to look at all the progress he has made. But I find being with someone who talks endlessly without really communicating very draining.

Agree just I can understand that too.. It must be hard knowing that your dc are different and need help, but everybody else ignoring you. Thinking about it now, in one way we are grateful we got an early dx as we can now get on with finding ways of helping ds rather than burying our head in sand hoping he will catch up sooner rather than later.

sally "unique, challenging, funny, loveable, frustrating, gorgeous.", that he certainly is...

Have enlarged and read the aticle, while Dd3 was watching "Nativity" for the billionth time.

It is a good article, I can definitely relate to what she says, especially about the way they just say what comes into their heads.

I just wanted to add that although I was mightily relieved to get the Dx I still went through a wierd time afterwards, kind of thinking "Was all the effort worth it, is anything going to come of it" I know now I did the right thing because Dd3 is getting some much needed help at school.

The Dx hasn't really helped Dp, my family and her siblings to understand her any better though.

I am going to print the article and share it around and maybe that will help along with the Dogs and Cats one from the other day.

Oodles. Don't get me wrong DS1 could bore the pants off a lot of people, apart from scientists, geography teachers and historians! But he can also be very funny, charming and kind hearted. He can also be a selfish lazy little git too! DS4 is only 5, doesn't speak, and as he is developmentally very delayed.... we will have to wait and see how he turns out!