So my dd1 is 9 and in year 4, she also has ASD. At parents evening a few weeks ago her teacher said that we should really start looking for and researching ASD friendly secondary schools. It's something we have been thinking of for a while now.
DD1's ASD isn't severe and she is in a mainstream primary school who have been absolutely brilliant it was them that pushed for her diagnosis and they already had an IEP in place and she has been having lots of one on one long before her diagnosis which was just a few months ago. She has problems socially, she has a few friends but not anyone she can call a best friend, and she does spend at least one playtime everyday on her own, although this doesn't really seem to phase her. Academically she's very behind, on a 6 year old's level rather than a 9 year old, although her understanding of unacademic things (IYKWIM) is quite good. For example she has recently started to ask questions about sex (gulp) which is pretty much age appropriate.
So I have found a school which was on Autistic Society's website. It is a special school for Autistic children who range from severe to moderate on the spectrum. It is for 5 - 19 year olds and only has 120 pupils, althrough the ratio of boys to girls is quite high which does worry me a little.
So my question is do I send her to a special school (possibly this one for Autistic children) or to a mainstream secondary school? [buconfused]
My worries in sending her to a mainstream school are bullying for one, she's so different to other girls her own age, and I think the only reason she hasn't been bullied already is because she's grown up with her classmates and they've all just accepted that she is the way she is. But it will be totally different in secondary as she won't know anyone and teenagers can be very harsh and cruel. Other concerns are she's so behind academically I'm worried if I pick the wrong school she'll just get lost in the system and won't achieve any qualifications. Which in turn could possibly mean she may fall in with the wrong crowd (I know this can just as easily happen to NT children too) she is also very easily led and naieve, which honestly scares the shit out of me as she approaches her teens. [busad]
My concerns in her going to a special school are what if she does better when around NT children rather than children with SN what if being in a special school will then hinder her socially and won't at all prepare her for what life is like when she leaves school. (As in she will be so protected in a special school she will find it hard to cope with the harshness of the adult world). What if academically it also hinders her but TbH I don't really think this likely. Also there is still a possibilty she could be bullied when in a special school.
I think if I'm honest I'm leaning more towards a special school as mainstream secondary scares me so much for her. I know a lot of my concerns are "what ifs" and no-one can really know what will happen I'm just looking for any advice or experience any of you may have. 
Apologies for all the typos I'm on my phone.