19mnth DS NO speech,is now becoming aggressive,help!

[FriggFRIGG]

He is hitting and biting and pulling hair to get his point across,he can't say "give me my toy back" or," I don't want that" or "I'd like a drink please" so he hits,bites,throws and snatches instead.

He is usually a very passive child,'easy' especially compared with DD,happy and energetic but not demanding or hard work at all,except for this,he is understandabky frustrated that he can't make his feelings known.

I dont know how to deal with this,I step in before the aggression if I spot it is going to happen,but sometimes he does it so quick...

We also have a DD(3.9yrs) who is very good with him 90% of the time.but she has some sensory issues,and there are some thing's he does that she just can't handle.(but that isn't the point,just an added factor)

He doesn't respond to signing either,we sign all the time,DD signed before she could speak and still uses it sometimes,but he won't/can't use it at all.

He is due to have a hearing test in the next week or two,then we should be able to access SALT,but I just don't know how to handle his aggression.

Any tips at all would be brilliant as I just don't know what to do with him.

would he respond to flashcards/picture cues?

eg have a set of pictures (either actual photos of his cup/train/shoes/book or generic cup/train/ball/whatever) that eh can hand to someone to show what he wants? 19 months is a little young, but if he is genuinely trying ot tell you somethign, and unable to, this might help with frustration?

you could have a chart up, and he could point (does he point ot things?) to indicate his needs.

That's a brilliant idea!
Thankyou.
We have some books that he can get to easily,and he sometimes brings a book over and points at a picture of what he wants,so I think that the pictures up on the wall could really work for him.

I don't know why I never thought of it!

oh good

you might want ot invest in a laminator if you don't already have one - we went through a looooong phase of picture cards/photos (dd1 was verbal, but we used them to increase/teach language and vocab) and it can be hard finding exactly the right one sometimes.... laminating photos can be much easier.

we also used to play lots of games with dd1 using her cards - she loved posting them in a toy postbox, and the interaction that brought taught her a lot about how ot ask nicely for something, and the benefit of doing it the right way etc (we added in random rewards - the odd raisin or two - when she did it 'right', and lots of praise etc)

oh, and you can get sets on a clip (search on ebay for PECS resources) for when you are out and about too - will have a look, hang on

Any ideas on what I should do where does become aggressive?
At the moment I say "No" firmly,then remove him from the situation ie,pick him up and put him down away from his sister,try to find him something to do,or figure out what he is after...

I'm finding it quite difficult as we still 'see' him as a baby,being the youngest,and having no speech.i worry about being to easy,or to harsh on him.

this type of thing

you can make them yourself, of course, but sometimes time (and will!) is short...

Oh,that is all very helpful,thankyou!

sorry, x-post.

you could be a little more explicit in your 'no' - eg 'no hitting/kicking/snatching/whatever'

but otherwise, at 19 months, remove and distract is about your only option for now.

try to mae sure the distraction is not too rewarding, though, as he might fall into the trap of doing something like hitting/snatching/etc in order to get more/better attention from you, or a higher level of rewarding toy, or whatever.

I think you ae right to be bearing in mind that he could end up being 'babied' but he is still quite little - ask anyone on the main board and they will say remove/distract is the way forward at this age.

adding in a form of cmmunication (hopefully) for him will go a long way to help with some of it.

if you think the picture card phase might last a while, you could do a lot worse than getting onto a PECS course run by Pyramid.

thye will teach you properly how ot use the cards as an efficient communication aid, rather than as a quick stop-gap. and you will get a llot of info on the benefits of reward and reinforcement (and how not to do it)

Okay,remove and distract,try to make sure it isnt to rewarding,and more explicit instructions.

Will start sourcing those pictures today,thankyou!

X post.
Okay will do,I think it may last a while,as he has no speech whatsoever,not even mama dada etc,nothing,nada,nout.
So it may be sometime before he can communicate effectively.

oh, another thought - do you have an ipad/ipod touch?

if so, there are lots of apps that can be useful. I found having my itouch in my pocket, with an app where I could quickly make up a now/next board, or a short picture timetable of what was about to happen (especially if there was a change of plan...) helped avoid a lot of meltdowns with dd1.

My DS2 went through a mini aggressive phase at 18mos. Not nice, but I would remove him from the situation, tell him why in a shorthand way ie No hitting, no snatching etc. After a few weeks it lessened and he went back to being lovely. He didn't have masses of language then, so it was his frustrations at the end of the day causing the behaviour.

Once he's got a bit more communication, as 19 months is still very young, try telling him what you want him to do, rather than 'no'. Ie, feet on the floor, rather than no climbing, or gentle hands, rather than no hitting, as they can miss the 'no' and fixate on the 'hitting.'

PECS, picture exchange communication system, was a lifesaver for my sanity, but DS2 was 3 before we started as he still had no words. Earlier is fine, though. I just only found out about it when he was 3. DS2 wouldnt sign, either.

My NT DS1 had no words until he was 3, just delayed speech with no other problems, but I'm sure PECS would have helped his frustration too.

Ooh, I crossed with loads of you.

Thanks everyone,I know 19mnths is young ,but I know from DD how long the process of getting help can be,I think he just needs a little push with his speech,and these flash cards sound like just the thing for him ATM.

good point from Ellen re: saying what you want him to do, eg gentle hands or touch nicely (and maybe demonsrate if dd will allow) - as littlies do tend ot miss the 'no' part.

you could also try explicitly teaching (with the aid of a cushion!) the difference between 'nice' hands and 'hitting', as he may not know.

Yes,I need to do this for DD as well,so thankyou for the reminder!