Not posted much due to being in highly strung mode this week and so in lurking mode as nothing remotely positive will come out of this keyboard lol.
I was ok whilst bricked in with endless deliveries at work for the bucket and spade brigade that are about to encroach on us but now I have the jitters now everyone is in bed.
I am going out of my comfort zone. Not staying there but driving up and doing it in a day. Mad I know but its the only way I can have DH for support. I am scared shitless. Forked out for 4 new tyres on the car and DH said they were already fine, garage man said they were fine but I had them done anyway.
I even booked a hair do. ME I dont do them anyone faffing around with my head drives me bats but I thought if I looked different maybe I would feel better and not look so crap but I looked in the mirror just now and thought nobody can take the stressy old face away whatever I do.
I dont have any housework left anyone would think I was going away for years.
What if it all goes wrong. What if I fuck up and clam up. What if they are like camhs down here or the rest with deaf ears and I am just putting DS through hell of observation just to have the door closed with a " hes complex dx I will give you that try a social story"
I got 2 NT kids desperate to understand things as to why their brother is this way and get some normality to life and a DH who right now feels he is doing it all wrong, hes not but saying it isnt enough right now.
Up till now DS is oblivious we are going and I have remained calm. I am going to have to tell him we are going on a trip but its going to freak him out and I dont want to hurt him for it all to go wrong. If I tell him its all going to be ok and I will be there then he will stay as calm as anything and just follow my lead copycat style but no proff is going to see him perform apart from his obvious tics as he loves adults and loves nice quiet plain walled offices!
Its silly oclock and this is a diary of a nutter :(