urgent help needed please ladies. Dx of PDA and meeting with SENCo tomorrow!

[newlife4us]

I finally, finally have a ex of PDA for my DS. He is in a fantastic (mainstream) school who are brilliant with SEN, but they have no prior knowledge or experience of PDA.

I have a meeting with the SENCo in the morning really want a statutory assessment. The problem is that he is compliant and well-behaved in school. He is also slightly ahead of where he should be educationally. However, the minute he comes out of school I am on the receiving end of hours of violence.

He is currently in year 2, but I really fear that he will start acting violently at school if he doesn't get the help he needs. I am also not sure how much longer I can cope!

He has gone from absolutely loving school (year 1, having moved from another school in the final weeks of his reception year) to being anxious about school the whole time.

I am also concerned that as he gets bigger I will no longer be able to control him. As it is I've had 2 broken toes, concussion, a torn disc, a pelvis pushed out of place and numerous bruises. He's also tried to stab me with a table knife ( he said he wanted to stab me but didn't appreciate that this needed to be done with a sharper knife nor could he reach them!

How do I explain how bad things are without sounding dramatic and how do I get help for a child that is school compliant, but storing up anxiety for release on me and DD every night?

Many thanks.

I am by no means an expert but if all his behaviours play out at home then I can't see how you can get statutory assessment. The SA and statement should set out how to help your ds at school. If he is coping well in school and school are managing his condition well then I don't see how you would get any extra help. I can see how awful it must be to know that your ds is taking out his anxiety on you at home, but you may have to go the CAHMS route to get help dealing with him at home. It is probably worth trying the school route if only to help with referrals to CAHMS etc. Sorry can't be more help. Saw your post earlier but I have no experience of PDA and was hoping someone else might be able to offer more help.

EXCELLENT book here - can download onto kindle also
there is a PDA forum also if you google

It is possible but you need to unpick the triggers, changes of routine, noise etc then you can argue that your ds needs a statement as the direct effects at school lead to anxiety and as he can only have a release where he is comfortable (home), but that this is still a school issue. It will be hard but you need to start getting documention. An independent ed psych could be very helpful to connect the dots and even if you do not get a statement from it you can use with the school.

he probably isn't really 'managing' in school with PDA - more holding it together and struggling through
has he been observed in school by a sensory OT?

Statements are also for social/communication needs as well as academic ones.

If you want a statement I would suggest you apply for it yourself and ignore any naysayers. Use IPSEA's website www.ipsea.org.uk

In Y3 he will be in Junior school (different site?) and things there could be far different. I would argue that he is bottling up all the frustrations of the school day only to take it out on your when he gets home.

Many thanks to all who've replied.

Cornsilcat - thank you for the book advice, I'll definitely take a look.

Attila -and cornsilcat - as you have appreciated he is merely holding it together at school for release at home!

In one way, it's been a huge relief getting his diagnosis as we now understand our child and know we're not complete failures! Conversely a stark realization that our NT child with behavioural issues now has much greater needs that DS - the one that we've been concentrating on educationally.

Thankfully the school and SENCo are incredibly good and are now taking advice on his condition. However, I do think that we're going to struggle with the statementing process for the reasons I've said before.

His progress has plateaued since September and I want to address the problem before the behaviour spills into school. From the advice I have taken this is likely to occur in the next academic year when children are expected to function more independently. It's also incredibly difficult to get over to people who haven't witnessed his meltdowns after school just how severe they are.

I really want to address the situation before somebody gets hurt at school or he causes serious harm to himself or others at home.

Set up a video at home that you switch on remotely. Set the camera to view the room on wide angle. as and when something happens film it. Very useful for arguing with CAMHS/SSD/ ED that the problem is not poor parenting - it is real- it does hurt- other children in the famaily are at risk. Cant be argued with. Put the date and time displays on as well. Its not pretty viewing but it does get results.