So worried about statement review tomorrow that I can't sleep!

[used2bthin]

I am being OTT because the school have been putting evidence together to apply for dd to get extra hours support at school, mainly for year one in sept (she gets 15 hours funded now but they have been able to give her more than that and have had to tbh as her behaviour has been tricky.

Read the EP report today-had to ask the SENCO to get it for me as the EP hadn't sent it or called me as she'd been meant to. I didn't waant to get that report in a meeting funnily enough! Anyway it is pretty depressing reading. THe EP has only seen dd the once but her observations are fairly worrying. On the plus side it may help our case BUT I am now feeling the usual hopelessness at the situation we are in-dd in mainstream school being disruptive often because she actually developmentally is way younger than her peers and she can't communicate with them effectively. The EP highlighted some of her refusal to coperate type stuff but also said that dd seemed not to understand what was expected of her.

I was so certain we should move to this area and have dd at this school and they have been supportive but its not the same as a specialised place. Also I always feel awkward at these meetings, like everyone is slightly uncomfortable with saying this stuff in front of me.

It's difficult to read the reports sometimes, but it's important to remember that the EP has to be clear and concise about why the extra support hours are needed. As a parent, that's not an approach we're used to when hearing about our child, in most instances. You should have had the EP report much sooner though. That's just poor organisation on the EPs part.

At the meetings, they may feel uncomfortable discussing it in front of you because they may be aware that your feelings are a bit raw about it all. Hopefully as you get more confident and comfortable in meetings, they will get over this as well.

I'm not sure from your post if you want your DD in MS or SS.. or perhaps you are just not certain. It's a difficult decision to make. DS2 has been in MS with FT 1:1 for reception and Yr1. We were adamant that we wanted him in MS initially (which I think was a small portion of denial prior to dx), however, after seeing where he is now and looking forward to what's best for him, we've now requested he attend a SS in the area. We went to other schools in the area, including one that has a communication and interaction centre attached, but still felt the SS was most appropriate for DS2's needs. But we've really struggled with this decision. I think it was more because it's such a huge change that we're worried it isn't the right decision (even though logically we know it is). I think some of it is probably the whole "giving up the idea that he is going to be able to completely fine in MS" and partly accepting once and for all that he has SNs (this is a huge part of it for DH I think).

I am glad he has had 2 yrs in MS, as obviously if he can be in MS with support then that's good. But I think it also allowed us to see just how the gap between DS2 and his peers is widening socially and emotionally. Sort of an eye-opener IYSWIM.

good luck for today triggles You can anly make decisions on the info you have at the time, moving to this school hasn't been a bad one, they sound really supportive which counts for a lot! The review could be just the place to bring up the subject of ss.

Sorry, don't understand what happened there-I was checking the thread late last night, must have fallen asleep as the laptop was next to me on the bed!

Thank you for replies. PipinJo yes we moved here as the school were being so supportive and DD was already at the playgroup attached where she really had amazing support. I felt if she had to be in mainstream she should stay somewhere familiar and also it is in a nice village as opposed to the slightly rough school that she'd have gone to where we were before. I have always liked the area but it meant a smaller house and tiny garden compared to if we'd moved further out and I pushed for here on the grounds that I wanted DD to be here.

As for special school I am similar to you triggles, it would be great if DD could settle here and be in mainstream and yes I think there is a certain amount of worry over making the "choice" for her to need special school-I do know it isn't really my choice at all just almost feels like I am giving up on things magically getting better just like you say. Not logical is it but real! What I really wanted was a s and l unit but in our area they stopped sending children to them till after age 7-I wanted dd to go to one till around 7 when in my head I had decided she would be ready then to attend mainstream. Recently they have opened two communication and interaction bases but they are more for autism which DD doesn't have (although she doesn't have a very definate diagnosis so we'll see!)

What she is ok with is being with the three year olds in her unit esp the boys so thats why I am panicking at the move to year one where she will only have her peer group.The gap is widening and I still don't know who her teacher or TA will be.

You are probably right re the staff at the meetings. I am always seemingly very confident and I work in a similar area, I wonder if that doesn't help. I have never been visably upset in a meeting then worry that they must think I am cold and clinical about dd's needs-the medical stuff then make me feel like they must think I obsess over it. She then had a funny turn at school last week which the consultant said could have been epileptic but I don't think school thought that and I worry they think I am accusing them of sending her home unneccessarily because I asked them to write it down. I think I am getting myself into a state I akm sure it will be fine.

Thanks ninjagoose! phew what a large post I just wrote! Bit and also e mailed the hospital psych last night and think it was a bit of a panicked e mail too! Hope she bears in mind my 7months pregnant slightly hysterical state when she reads it!

it's obviously too early for me, that should have said, good luck for today used2!!

I'm sure the hospital psych will be fine, at least you can blame your hormones atm

thanks yes true! just got back and it was fine, I take it all back with school think they were on edge last time as I had parent partnership lady there. The SALT outreach service therapist said that they may not need so much support in year one as the TA's can do the therapy. The teachers seemed as disappointed as me with this and have said they are still pushing for intensive package as dd's needs are severe! Am upset with SALT service but am confident that it won't happen as school are behind me. They also felt that the EP report was a snapshot of a daya nd that dd has made some really good progress-with lots of support and are happy that the evidence they have will help to get the full support dd needs.

So I have actually come away feeling that I have people on dd's side rather than defensive. I am going to email the SENCO later to thank her for all the work she is putting in.

I haven't really been that keen on SALT here either tbh. She just doesn't seem to be DOING anything. And doesn't understand the idea that while DS2 tests well, he can't apply the knowledge in everyday speech, especially when he is upset. We've brought up a couple concerns which she ignored, so we went to paed with it instead. Aggravating.

OOPs... enter too soon... Glad your meeting went well, although hopefully you'll get the hours needed.

that sounds good used2 Will keep fingers crossed she gets the extra hours.

thanks yes the SALT thing is ridiculous, the whole SALT service in this area is shocking. I met with the head of SEN provision (think thats who she was-could have just been the SALT side of it though) to "discuss" my concerns over them not having a s and l unit anymore and she just gave me rubbish like there isn't the need (what, really, no other children in the LEA who have severe s and l difficulties like dd?!) and parents don't want their children to be at ss. Argh so frustrating.

Anyway I digress-I think part of the problem is they are so stretched, this SALT had obviously got a line she had to take but its not happening, for mainstream to have any chance of working they need a far more intensive support package than they are being offered and at least they agree and are willing to fight it too.

Should hear about hours in 4-5 weeks. Phew thats over anyway! EP didn't show up!