ASD and other children

[BagPuss71]

My ds is 7 and has a dx of ASD. He is 'high functioning', in main stream school and has a statement.

He is a bright child and is doing well academically and has some friends at school. I'm very proud of him. Some of the other children though have started to tease him, calling him 'slow'. My poor boy though they were talking about running and has been trying so hard to run faster so he fits in. Other names are 'bonkers' 'mad' etc. He doesn't understand this though but his friend does and tries to stick up for him, then it gets physical, yesterday three other boys pinned him to the ground during playtime :(

I have told the school who are going to deal with it, wait and see there...

I have told my ds not to not to hit out but to tell the teacher when this happens, however he says, 'no i'm going to kill them'. Told the school this too.

So worried about my ds. At home he is a gentle sensitive boy but on occasions can be pushed to violent outbursts. None of the other parents know he has ASD, its a high achieving school and I doubt they would understand. I know children can be cruel, he's already been called 'brain damaged' by another boy a few months ago but I just don't know what to do....

I have a similar problem with my ds, he gets called weirdo, freak, mong etc. Although it upsets him, he would never retaliate or tell the teacher. Other children can be very cruel at times, cant they and its heartbreaking for us parents too.

My ds's behaviour probably is 'odd' to other children at times. Although other children should not do this, i have also been trying to work on my ds's behaviour. Does your ds have any social skill help?

Heck...been through similar with my own lad so I know how you feel.

OK, wise advice...you are welcome to ignore it, but here it is....

The school have to take this as seriously as they would if it were racism, now. Any targeting of a pupil because they are disabled, or because they are behaving as if they are disabled, is illegal. You could in fact call in the police. I'm not suggesting you do, but that's the truth of it.

The school need to sort it out, and very fast indeed.
I in every 50 boys is on the autism spectrum, so any and every school have a number of boys on the spectrum, whether they cater for people with a high IQ or not.

I think the school needs to do a 'whole school' approach to this. School assemblies teaching the school what isn't acceptable, and how to think positively about difference. Playground buddies to watch out for trouble and be a friend to those who are being targeted (but not intervene physically). And your ds may have been very badly physically hurt by being pinned down. I'm autistic. Physical restraint hurts as badly as being punched and is SO scary, for most of us.

I appreciate you're valuing the academic stuff in the school....but research shows that the most important thing for future success for us isn't academic qualifications...it's social skills and confidence. Unless a school is helping develop those too, we end up with brilliant qualifications and not a person in the world who wants to care whether we have them or not. Bullying is a devastating thing for children on the spectrum, and often specialist school are much safer places for some of us to be. I'm not suggesting you change schools - only that a school that is the right one for us is often a school that respects our differences, rather than forces us to hide from bullies and sneering parents.

He has been to lots of social groups run by the school where he is the target child. And overall he has made great improvements as has his ability to control his anger. At 7 though, although he's aware of his ASD I don't think he can control his ASD traits and the main problem for my ds is with language and communication, so sometimes he does stand out.