Don't know what to think or how to feel any advice would be great

[MorningCoffee]

So its along story, my dd is 6 years old gorgeous wonderful full of life girl, have always known dd has had her own little way of how she is in life & always put those tuff times down to normal behaviour, Although have to say the last couple of months i have definitely noticed how much dd is struggling not just as school but socially and with friends etc.

I went to parents evening today & dd's teacher has said they have concerns, dd is struggling with writing/reading/maths she is struggling in everything, they have noticed her major clumsiness & dd does not give eye contact, dd does not seem to be able to take any information in & is very much in her own little world.
She also is very obsessive with how she likes things & if its not done her way she will have a melt down this is not at school but more home.
So they are getting the nurse & senco i have to have a meeting with the teacher/senco to discuss things & also am taking dd to the GP.

I have to admit i feel heart broken & lost, not because of any of this but more for dd's future and what this all means, There was words of asperges and ADHD thrown around more asperges than anything but i don't know what this means for dd's future? Can anyone give me advice or help me as i feel lost so so lost.

I had a feeling something was wrong i started to notice things more and more the last few weeks, dd is such a lovely little girl though & i just want to be able to understand & for us all to do everything & anything we can to help/understand.

Thank you in advance.

morningcoffee there are a lot of posters on here who are much more knowledgeable than I am, so I'll leave the advice to them. Just wanted to say hugs and I'm sure someone will be along soon.

Thank you nothinginthefridge thats so good to know :)

She's still your lovely little girl. Asperger's is not the end of the road. It's a slightly different road than the one you expected but it's better that you find out what it is sooner rather than later and then things can be put in place to help her.
To cut out the tantrums try to pre warn her about everything and anything - structure is your key weapon.

It sounds like the school are on to it which is brilliant. Asperger's doesnt't mean that she can't do things it just means that she might have to be specifically taught some things which are normally inate. It will also mean that she has interests and a 'feel' for things that can be very useful like my son just knowing how the fridge switched on in the church hall which my sister and I had been faffing around trying to find for 10 minutes - he just did it instinctively. He just knows how stuff works - it's very very useful!!!
My one is now an older teenager and he's the nicest person on the earth and doing very well. He tantrumed badly and he's at a special school but he's just fine and dandy. Whatever difficulties your child has - they are just that - a closed gate across an open field - you just have to work out ways to open that gate.

All the best

Thank you flyingmum you have put my at ease a bit, I think it just hit me probably me being in denial & then when someone other than close family says it i suppose it just confirmed what i had an inkling about.
is your ds clumsy? did he not do the eye contact thing? Is there specific things that would be key to a diagnosis? what is the road ahead with dd? sorry lots of questions.

Morningcoffee, have a look at the NAS website link here and see if any of it looks familiar. Did your DD have any delays with her speech? Girls are notoriously harder to spot with AS, as they are naturally more communicative and empathic, I think. There are quite a few posters with girls on the autistic spectrum on this board, who will be able to offer better advice and support. Maybe start a thread about a possible AS diagnosis (DX) girl?

Please don't despair, she hasn't changed, she's still that gorgeous girl. My DS2 (12) has ASD and is just delightful (most of the time!) He was/is clumsy, used to fall over three times at least on the way to school, bump into people, fall over them. His eye contact was poor when he was younger but is much better now. My DS2 goes to a MS school with 1:1 support and is doing OK academically, about average. It's a wide spectrum.

Ellenjaneisnotmyname thank you for the link & information dd did not have speech delay in fact she was always ahead dd has always been strongly independent & strong willed, as dd has got a bit older I am noticing that when she gets upset she does go into total melt down, she also has to have things or wear things exactly how she wants so if I said let's wear this dress today & she had already decided she was wearing a different one there is no give at all she will be wearing the dress she wants or melt down, no eye contact is a massive thing a lot of people have noticed and she is beyond clumsy and can't sit still very fidgety everything has to be done at 100 miles an hour, she is struggling socially never really had that best friend is quite happy & content in her own company to be honest, I wouldn't call it naughty behaviour & never have always just thought this was how dd was, can't say life has been easy with dd but we have always found a way, she loves praise & strives on this never been a fantastic sleeper & still isn't she wants to sleep with us not on her own! I have an appointment with the teacher and SENCO next week and also GP does anyone know what happens from now & what sort of things will be happening? Thank you for your advise it really is helping me

Morningcoffee, I'd have a look at dyspraxia as well as Asperger Syndrome. There's a lot of overlap between dyspraxia and ASD/AS. With no speech delay if she is on the autistic spectrum she would probably get an Aspergers DX rather than ASD.

Tony Attwood's books on Aspergers in general, and Aspergers in girls are often recommended on here.

The school will hopefully be looking at ways to support your DD educationally. They may want to get an educational psychologist in to assess your DD and advise them how best to support her. Be prepared for a long waiting list, though, and you may have to get your pain in the arse parent head on.

Your GP will probably not be very clued up on Aspergers (especially in girls) so you'll need to be asking for a referral to an expert, a developmental paed preferably. Hopefully not CAMHS, as Aspergers isn't a mental health issue, but that seems to be the route to a DX in some areas. If dyspraxia is more likely a referral to an occupational therapist would be really useful. HTH

IME there is an overlap between asd/dyslexia/dyspraxia/ocd and usually dc with dx with asd will also show traits of at least one of the above mentioned.

For example my ds1 has asd and dyslexia. I have friends whose dc have asd and dyspraxia.

Its really good the school are acting and getting her assessed...some of us have to fight for that.

She is still your lovely dd. That wont change

hi there MorningCoffee

my DD is 4.9yrs and sounds very similar in many ways to yours. she has sensory issues - has comforters to sniff, hates loud sudden noise, extremes in temperature, has to have shoes done really tight, like to lick shiney surfaces.

she's a little firework - explosive, vibrant, noisy and can stop traffic when she's at her 'best'

like PPs have suggested, it's probably time for you to do some reading.

i'm reading this book right now, and it's been really useful for helping me develop some strategies in dealing with what i know realise are 'normal' reactions for DD.

girls do present differently to boys, and Tony Attwood is the best source of information on this.

sorry this post i really disjointed, DD is singing at me

keep posting, PM me if you want