appetite - how to judge wanting more vs needing more

[silverfrog]

dd1 is 7. she is about 120cm (ish - probably a bit taller) tall, and weighs around 23kg (I think). essentially, she is a good size/weight.

she has a good appetite, and eats reasonably well.

I am finding it hard to judge how much food to give her. she doesn't seem to have a 'stop' point, especially for foods she really likes (things like mashed potato or broccoli - not talking about crisps/choc).

today when I collected ehr from school, her tutor said to me that dd1 had been saying in the afternoon that she was hungry, and that she got upset.

today, dd1 took with her (after a good breakfast at home - cornflakes, as always, with some raisins in - dd1 can have as much as she wants. usually one good bowlful, sometimes 2):

sandwiches (often she will have a hot meal, today it was sandwiches) - 3 rolls.
a banana
a pear
some raisins
a bag of dried fruit (mixed pineapple and mango today)
a nut/seed/hemp bar (very filling and dense)

this was to be divided up between lunch and afternoon snack.

we get home around 4.30pm, and tea is at about 5pm (she had fishfingers, mash and carrots today - I would struggle to eat the amount of mash she had, followed by banana, raisins and pear)

so - what sized lunch do your dc eat? shoudl I up her portions? I worry about her not being able to stop eating (she has, before now, struggled to finish something rather than leave it on her plate - combination of no 'stop' valve and crappy techniques at one of her pre-schools where she was rewarded for a clean plate , and pudding withheld if anything left etc)

but on the other hand I don't want to leave her hungry.

I just can't trust her assessment of "i'm hungry" - it seems to mean 'I want mor eof the stuff I really like" rather then 'I'm not full yet'

wwyd?

My DS3 doesn't have a stop point either and is in danger of becoming overweight. I'd look at some child BMI charts online, just google them and see how she's doing for her age and height. If she's fine, don't worry too much. If she's overweight do a quick check of a typical day's calorie intake. Young DC need fat in their diet but sugars can be reduced. If she's still hungry try to offer filling 'healthy' food, I tend to go for fruit. Raisins are 70% sugar so I avoid too many of them, sweeter than some sweets!

TBH, I'm fighting a bit of a losing battle with DS3. His main problem is how little he moves, he's like a three toed sloth. Some extra exercise may be the best bet, raise the metabolism?

My son is very similar.. no idea of 'full' and when he was smaller he would keep eating until he was sick unless prevented. Social events like BBqs and buffets were a nightmare as some people thought it funny to keep feeding him :/ and as he has poor muscle tone I did not want him getting heavy.. the physio has always said he needed to stay light otherwise it would impair his mobility more.

Having checked what he actually needed (BMI v mobility/exercise) I became very strict. I found that giving him little and often worked best for us.. so 4 meals a day but small ones, and only small amounts of fruit (in his case he ONLY eats apples) in between. I built it into a routine, which worked with his autism.. 'at breakfast we have X lunch = y dinner = z and a supper snack ' and simply didn't give him access to anything else. It took a while but worked and now at 14 he is MUCH better at only eating what he needs.

DS2 doesn't move much.. he has mild physical disabilities as well as ASD and while I didn't anticipate just how sedentary he would become, I'm glad we were strict. He is now a very tall, very thin teenager, who eats decent size meals but doesn't snack indiscriminately ..and as he developed scoliosis when he hit puberty we are extra glad we persisted.

I would bite the bullet (assuming your DD isn't underweight) and try and have a food routine.. one bowl of cereal, lunch, a small snack after school.. small portion tea and a small supper snack . It may be that if she has a lot of cereal for breakfast her stomach is stretched a bit so she genuinely does feel extra hungry, and that she just needs for her body to feel less of a need to be topped up!

Sounds like her diet is FAB tho... I'd love to get that fruit into my DS:)

thanks

she is very routine driven around food (that's apparent in the fruit line up, and the reason why I can't ditch the raisins!), and can be obsessive.

going by looking at her, she is absolutely fine. I will double check height/weight tomorrow, but she is nicely covered, and a good height. she is reasonably active, but can be prone to loafing.

at home I go by 3 meals a day, and no snacks to speak of. school has snack times though, probably due to other children being poor or picky eaters and needing little-and-often.

she does have a reasonably good diet, and part of my problem is what on earth else could I give her anyway? she is gluten and dairy free (and all additives/colourings etc) and I don't really want her ot have any more fruit - she would eat it til the cows came home, but there is a limit....

I jsut wish I coudl be sure as to whether it is genuine hunger or just a passing whim - if she is about to have a growth spurt then I don't want ot deprive her, but at the same time she doesn't really want ot be any bigger than she currently is - not skinny, but not overweight either (I don't think).

I am working on veg sticks, and she will tolerate carrot sticks now, so that could be one for the future (makes a change from fruit!), but I am stuck as to what else I could give her.

she would usually have chilli or risotto or spag bol or curry if she doesn't have sandwiches - a good portion (about what I woudl eat for lunch, tbh) and she does eat that well, and is full ( I think - although her first question after lunch is always 'what's for tea?' - more routine driven than food seeking I hope)

It's surprising how small a portion a child is supposed to have. My DS3 has a tiny packed lunch now and I've taken to giving him a smaller bowl at breakfast because he fills it to overflowing with cereal. He probably shill eats too much cereal, but he won't touch the fruit provided at school for a mid morning snack so it has to last him the morning. I had a look on the side of the cereal packet for a child's daily recommended calorie intake (handy!) and weighed everything out for a couple of days to work out how much he was eating and it was too much in terms of calories.

silverfrog - for vegetables, my children like red/yellow/orange peppers - raw. and also raw corn-on-the -cob - cut them off from the cob.