Repetitive behaviour help please!

[hereiamagain2]

I have 2 step sons with quite severe autism. Dp has only recently started to have access, up until this point he hadnt seen them for 4 and half years.

Anyhow they have been coming regularly at weekends for about the past 6 weeks and the school holidays. All one of them wants to do is engage in repetitive behaviour from when he wakes up until bed.

I realise this is all very new to them and wouldnt mind so much but the repetitive behaviour always involves me! He wants me to sit with him all day, drawing different colour circles!

He has no interest in anything else, if I say no, he has a meltdown and i hate to see him so upset, so i have been drawing circles with him, literally all day. He does calm down eventually, if i say no and use a timer, but then continuing takes me hand and wants to take me to the kitchen to draw circles again. If i dont draw circles he wanders around aimlessly, inbetween taking my hand to draw circles.

I would really like to do something else with him, any suggestions please?

Can you ask his mum, do you have that kind of relationship with her? It sounds like he's comfortable with you and is enjoying your company. Mum will most likely have strategies she uses to deal with it and the best thing you can do is be consistent with how she goes about it (assuming Mum is the main carer?)

Yes mum is, we have asked and she says that she just lets them 'get on with it' ie wandering about doing there own thing. Without putting mum down, i think she just has her hands full.

Ive tried to work out what he is gaining from it, first i thought because this was new to him and was probably feeling anxious and looking for familar. But this son has a taken a real shine to me, he wont let his dad do anything for him and screams for me, when we take him home. I feel its now the one on one time that he is enjoying.

Or maybe finding an adult who will do his repetitive behaviour for him

You need to google the autistic society and look at the behaviour traits. Autistic children do have repetitive behaviour. If this is how the mother copes with it, then this is what you have to do. It has nothing to do with having her hands full, she's letting him get on with it which is what he needs and it sounds like she's doing a great job to me.
Autism is an odd condition if you look at it from the outside as he's not in your world at all. You need to get to know him, his world is full of circles. He's trying to show you his world, he must like you. You need to be patient with him. Is there a group near you? It will really help to chat to some other parents.

I'd post this in special needs, the posters in there can really help.

Thanks Ladysybil, i have a good understanding of autism, i have a 8 year old with ASD myself. I also should have added that mum also has a young toddler, as well as 2 boys with autism, which is what i meant by having her hands full.

Its hard to just let him get on with it, as it involves him wanting to interact with me. He doesnt want to be left to just get on with it and wander around, he wants to interact, albeit in a repetive way

I thought this was special needs?

Sorry, I have Eminem living next door and he decided to practice whilst I was typing.

Have you tried asking him to make a 'surprise' picture for you?

My nephew has ASD, it's very hard to steer him off his topic once he gets going. He likes music so she bought him an ipod for Christmas so he'll sit and listen to the songs. Does he have something else that he likes or is it just circles?

Sounds like you have your hands full too

I dont think he would understand what a 'surprise' is, i have to be very specific with any kinds of instructions, i think 'surprise' would be a bit too abstract for him. His fine motor skills are also quite delayed so he holds the felt with his fist. I have tried to draw other pictures, but he will just take my hand and repeat circles.

We have made some progress as i ask him which colour circle and he picks the colour!

He likes watching the same roller coaster on you tube over and over and the same 2 seconds of a Simpsons dvd (which involves a roller coaster) over and over! He has gone off of the dvd, after i got a portable dvd player for him to watch it on, as he was controlling the TV and no one else could watch it!

I don't, my sister does though. I don't know how she copes. Pre iPod he would take over any TV and put the music channel on. He was obsessed with football players at one point and he'd sit and look at packs of them.

Could you make clips of the rollercoaster and put them together on a loop? Maybe the DVD player screen isn't large enough?? It's hard work trying to break into their world!

I meant living next door to Eminem

We have made a dvd of the roller coaster. But he likes to fast forward and rewind the same 2 seconds of Simpsons, which i think is harder to do on the portable, so he has just lost interest in the roller coaster dvd and Simpsons.

But even watching the roller coaster on the laptop, he wants me to sit with him and watch it, so i feel he enjoys interaction, even if it is very limited.

My ds does engage in repetitive behaviours (which involve just him, not me too!), but it is fairly easy to move him on or distract him.

Ive never been involved in repetitve behaviour before and im not sure what to do, im not sure if i am reinforcing it. I was hoping to at least try to cut down on it, for the sake of dss and my own sanity

Doh! It's very hard. I'm sure he has mental health issues, it's not normal to shout at yourself at 04:30am is it?? Father is in denial and I'm not sure what else I can do.

It sounds very difficult. I'm hoping that someone can give you some better advice. I'd get him a TV with a remote so he can control it as much as he wants. Freecycle probably have one that needs a home.

I wouldnt like to comment on whats 'normal' anymore, im having flashbacks of roller coasters

He cant be left on his own, he has a limited sense of danger, so a TV and DVD player upstairs would still involve me sitting upstairs all day, watching it! hence the portable and he seems to have lost interest it in now, although he has just moved onto something else.

Circles? Could you try a spirograph type thing? He can make a lot of circles with one of those. The Early learning centre used to have kits.

I could give that a try, thanks.

I dont mind spending time with him doing something a bit more productive, its just the drawing of circles from 6am to 8pm is really not good, for him or me, especially as he wont let dp take over.

I think im going to have to start introducing some boundaries, otherwise he will grow to expect this every week. Maybe we do something more productive for a bit, then a reward of circles or roller coasters and some breaks inbetween? Does that sound realistic?

It depends on how amicable he is. All you can do is try. Best of luck

Thanks very much for your help, i think i might do a visual timetable, see if that helps at all. Off to start a thread on visual timetables and thank god for MN