So fed up of abusive behaviour = autism

[JustHecate]

It really upsets me. Anyone else?

(usually) man is horrible, abusive, uncaring and what pops up - sounds like he could be autistic!

My boys are loving, wonderful, caring people! Yes, they have challenges and one of these is social, but there is a world of difference between the confusion and struggles they have and someone being a bastard!

I think we really need to get out there and stamp on this idea that if you see abusive behaviour and someone not giving a shit how you feel and being really very horrible to you - this is NOT indicative of bloody autism!!!

I think we really need to get out there and stamp on this idea that if you see abusive behaviour and someone not giving a shit how you feel and being really very horrible to you, it might be autism - - this is NOT indicative of bloody autism!!!

edited because the first one made no sense at all

I've worked with children with autism for more than 20 years

I totally agree.

My DD has autism & it annoys me as well.

You are so right OP.

Sadly people love to excuse all sorts of nasty by harping on with the line "they could have SN" Pisses me off a lot

I have an SN child (well young man now) and you could not wish to meet a nicer person

Or: OP goes on about twattish behaviour. 5,000,000 posts of leave the bastard. But I think he's on the spectrum. 5,000,000 of oh poor him.

F. F. S.

ASD is a real buzz word on the relationships board these days and I've raised the issue before. It's seems to be another band wagon to jump along with the "Toxic" in laws and "narcissitic" mothers. Not saying these people don't exist but I'm getting more and more pissed off with seeing ASD being grouped alongside them.

Anyway ds has asd and quite frankly he's fucking ace!

IME an intelligent person on the AS end of the spectrum is perfectly capable of learning the skills to cope in society. Being a twat to your spouse is neither one of the learned behaviours, nor is it in the dsm-iv...

JustHecate

I certainly agree with your initial post. Perhaps you were thinking of a not so long ago thread that popped up in Relationships with the title "Does AS look like emotional abuse?". Lots of erroneous stuff on that thread amongst the occasional piece of common sense counsel.

BTW catsdontcare I have never seen any reference to ASD grouped in or alongside either toxic parents or narcissistic mothers.

No. I didn't even click on that. I feared it would upset or anger me if people were suggesting that being autistic is a reason for being abusive and cruel. It's just something I have noticed cropping up on thread after thread recently.

Sounds like autism/could he be on the spectrum

People with autism aren't foul or abusive, or uncaring and I think that people need to remove this link that appears to be being formed in their minds.

I get completely cross-eyed trying to reason with people on those endlessly-appearing "my man is a sd, he must be autistic" threads. I have a go, but it feels no different to them saying, "My man is a wheelchair user - they're all sds, those wheelchair users - they're never going to be any good as partners, anyone in a relationship with them will need counselling". Gee whizz, we'd spot the prejudice right away. Or how about, "my boyfriend is of a different race - I need counselling as a result". People would go bezerk shouting 'racist!" at them, for good reason. But if it's autism, we're always fair game

My lovely dh is just wonderful. And autistic. He's kind, thoughtful, gentle, caring...yes, it takes him longer to think it through and he bungles social communication because he can't think about it or 'see' it fast enough...but there's no an evil bone in his proverbial body. Same with so many others on the spectrum. I've never once in all my life set out to be nasty to someone deliberately, and I'm always so embarrassed if I get it wrong.