Seems like we're always making decisions.. and second guessing them....

[Triggles]

Doesn't it seem that way??

MS or SS?
To medicate or not to medicate?
If we medicate, is he more likely to be able to cope with MS?
If we medicate, will he have difficulty with side effects now or other problems possibly years from now?
Bedwetting - medicate or not? Wait to see how he does? How will it affect him socially?
Diagnosis - to get one or not? If we get one, do we tell him now or wait until later? Will he even understand? Will he get depressed? Will he be better off knowing or not knowing for awhile?
Statement - try for one or not? Does he need FT 1:1 or PT? What are his needs in school? Are they being supported?
DLA - apply? Apply for mobiity as well? Then when they most likely turn it down the first time, do we appeal? Or if it's lower than expected rate of care, do we ask them to look at it again, even though they bang on that if they do look at it, there's a possibility it could go even lower (I hate that - makes you feel like they either think you're lying or like they're bullying people into taking what's given, even though they qualify for higher, so as not to risk what they're already getting)?

Outings/Parties/School trips, etc - can he handle this? how much preparation is needed? Will there be crowds of people or noise or lights that he can't handle? How safe and contained is the environment?

I get soooooo tired of constantly having to THINK about EVERYTHING!!! It's exhausting! Is it just me?

Put the Kettle on and make a brew and then give yourself a few days off thinking about it all and get recharged?

Yeah, but then it's tea or coffee? Milk? Sugar?

Yep. We were given the option to call the LA and find out what day the decision about his SS was going to be made and then ring them the next day to find out, but it just makes it all too stressful. I am making myself wait, they will send us a letter.

I do worry about the whole "if we medicated him, would he be able to cope better with MS... is he really going to be better in a SS or are we limiting his choices? Will he resent us pulling him out of MS when he is older?" sigh... sometimes you can talk yourself around right in a circle and end up where you started.

We can only do our best and cross our fingers and hope. Things may change with time and if he wants to go back into mainstream then that can be arranged then. I don't know about the medication, it would be great on one hand if something helped my ds be less impulsive and concentrate better but how well known are the possible side effects. Do give yourself a break from thinking about it, you can come back to it with a clearer frame of mind.

You might not get things right but you are the only person who's only agenda is your child which means every decision you make is the rightest possible and for that you have to be bloody proud of yourself. Even though you're rarely be perfect it isn't for want of trying, or nights of worry, or the expenditure of resources. You're amazing!

Thank you. I'm sure we're all feeling this way at some point. This schooling decision is so difficult. We've agreed the best place for him at the moment is the SS. He cannot cope with all the sensory input at the MS, and we just cannot imagine him coping at junior school in MS without FT 1:1, and after speaking to them, it was like exclusional inclusion, if that makes sense. Separate work area, separate eating area... what's left, really? I wasn't thrilled about them saying the detention area was a nice quiet area for him to calm down either - sounds much like being punished.

Am I being unrealistic in wanting him to actually be able to work and socialise on his own level without being constantly overwhelmed every day in school? It always seems to be "what can he cope with?" but honestly, doesn't he have a right to be able to enjoy his school experience, like other children his age? Why does it always have to be about pushing his boundaries? Academically, yes, I get that, but socially and emotionally?

sigh.. just frustrating...

I dunno. Tbh I'm so disillusioned with the whole education thing I'm simply following the 'first do no harm' thing. Once that is in place I will get the best outcome I can from the environment and know my DS isn't being damaged and make up the shortfall myself.

It's what I was doing before but I was having to start with undoing the damaged caused by ed setting.

Oh Triggles you have just said so much of what's in my head , and driving me nuts at the moment .
My dd started dual placement January but everyone thinks it will be better for her to go full time to sn school now . The decision is mine and husbands but mostly mine , and I have said yes to sn but worried if Iv made right decision.

Starlight I have to say that DH & I have come to that conclusion as well. DS2 apparently doesn't fit well anywhere. He socially and emotionally is better off at the SS, but academically should be in MS (as per what we've been told). So we're going with what's best socially and emotionally, in his best interests. Academics are easily supported and supplemented at home.

happydayyay We've pushed for SS at this point, as we feel overall it's the best choice for DS2. We're waiting for the decision from the LA right now. We do worry about it... seems to be around and around in my head. I think because it's such a huge decision, and we worry that we're messing with his entire future based on these decisions IYSWIM. But as Starlight said, we have to make the best decision possible based on where we are now and go from there. But it is hard to know what's best sometimes.

To be honest, if they try to push him to MS, DH wants to HE, and I'm a bit uneasy about that. It would be ME that it all falls on, and it's an incredible amount of work. Then I'd REALLY be worried that I would mess things up!