Help: 5 year old "unofficially" excluded for afternoon

[bookbird]

Hi,

My son has had trouble at school since starting in August (we're in Scotland).

He has difficulty concentrating and finishing work, but by far the greatest problem is hitting other children. He was sent home today for the first time after hitting four children.

We've had a couple of meetings with the school where they've suggested he struggles with social cues and social interaction. Today they told my DH to take him to our GP for a referral to a children's centre for assessment.

I feel that the school have cut us loose. We have been very supportive, introducing marble jars and traffic light behaviour management systems at home to incentivise good behaviour. I believe he can do it (and he does at home, frequently).

He struggles to communicate his feelings or explain why he hits (stock answer is "I don't know"). School have been talking about a nurture group, and referral to an educational psychologist, but those won't happen before May. I feel the situation is deteriorating and the school aren't making suggestions as to how to manage DS in the meantime.

I've made an appointment with the GP, but don't expect the referral to happen quickly. What can I do now? I'm getting quite desperate. Any suggestions please?

To me, that's not an exclusion - its a suspension. Do you have suspensions in England? They are often used as "calm down" periods, and are usually for the remainder of a school day after an incident has happened. OP, did the school call it an exclusion?

Thanks for further replies.

Exactly "oodlesofdoodles". This very issue has DH and I at loggerheads. He thinks it's nuts that we could be "labelling" at 5 before we can push to get support (I do agree a bit, but will do anything I can to get DS the support he needs).

Are you me sockpuppet? We're thinking of moving too .

The school used the term unofficial exclusion. We use the terminology exclusion (temporary) and permanently removed from the register (permanently "expelled") up here in Scotland.

Unofficial exclusion seems to be the way to do it without recording and therefore impacting on school stats (imo).

Am also in Scotland - we have regular contact with Preschool Home Visitor (like an educational HV but is an ex teacher with experience of SN) who is excellent. When DS1 (HF ASD) goes into P1 I don't know if her help (remit being Preschool) will end - and what will replace it.

I would recommend looking on your council website for this service though, you can self refer - it has different names on different councils.

As for labelling, I am happy that DS1 is labelled, as his nursery (which is attached to school) refuse have difficulty in accepting he has any needs at all as he is very quiet and well behaved at school, (but has meltdowns at home) and is easy to ignore

I'm in Scotland too - "temporary exclusion" must be what was called suspension in my day, and "permanently removed from the register" must be what was called exclusion in my day. Some local authorities have "home-school link workers" who would be able to help you get support.

It may also be worth contacting the Govan Law Centre for a legal perspective and also Enquire an advice service for additional support for learning.

Here is Enquire's fact sheet that covers temporary exclusions and "part time education" I think it will answer all your questions.

HTH

Thanks for the enquire links Agentprovocateur, Really helpful. I've just been reading the exclusion fact sheet to DH.

Thanks everyone who's posted. This board is really supportive, I appreciate all the advice and moral support!

DS had a good morning at school. Doctors on Thursday for a referral to a child development centre!

Enquire are brilliant OP, there's also SNIP at the Sick Kids if you're anywhere near Edinburgh (although there's likely to be something similar attached to any other large children's hospital).

I was also going to say don't wait for the EP, get straight to the GP but I see you have. If you get a dx your DS may be awarded additional support hours which would fund support. At which point the HT will be biting your hand off for the additional resources, by the way