ADHD - to assess or not to assess

[fatherchewylouis]

Hi, have been directed to this board (which I knew nothing about previously!) so re-posting a previous thread here for thoughts:

"I have had growing concerns about my 6 year old for nearly a year now. He has been exhibiting increasing types of behaviour associated with ADHD and my husband and I have gone through phases of worrying about it and then relaxing a bit and hoping he will grow out of it but we have just had parents evening and it seems the issues we have been worrying about at home have been manifesting at schoool and are now affecting his schooling.

My husband displays a large number of these same characteristics too and in fact before we even had children we had the conversation that these days he may well have been diagnosed with ADHD but it wasn't really done when we were children. Although my husband has done well for himself now he did under-achive academically and was labelled a naughty boy throughout school.

My husband and I are now in disagreement about whether to go down the route of having my son assessed. My husband argues that although there is obviously an issue, it is mild and he himself is a testemant to the fact that it doesn't need to affect your ultimate success in life and that he may still grow out of it so why potebtialy label him with a disorder and put him through investigations. But I feel he is not entirely objective due to his own experiences with similar.

My view is that if (big if) there is a clinically recognised disorder there, that by recognising it we will get more help dealing with it and more hope of him achieving his academic potential (he is currently underperforming) and also I am concerned that my son is now getting a naughty boy label when I really don't think he is a bad boy, it is clear to me that he really doesn't appear to be able to control himself in some circumstances and I would rather him have an ADHD label than a label of naughty boy or trouble maker.

I know that no one can tell me whether he does have a problem or what to do, but I would be interested in people's views on the pros and cons of investigations and a possible diagnosis vs pros and cons of not making a big deal of it and not labelling him with a "disorder" and allowing him the opportunity to grow out of it.

All thoughts and opinions greatly welcomed (even if they seem harsh - am prepared to accept I am totally neurotic if the cap fits).

Thanks"

You won't necessarily get any help even with a dx :( Having said that, I have a 22 yo with ADHD and sadly they don't grow out of it. They learn to cope with it. It helped to have a dx for extra time in exams, permission to use a laptop instead of labouring to write (he also has dyspraxia) and he did get 1:1 at school. As you say, it is preferable to be labelled with ADHD than the naughty boy.

Have you spoken to the SENCO at his school? What are their views on it?

Our DS2 is 5yo, dx'd with ADHD (among other things) and while the school has been brilliant, they stepped in and began supporting him as soon as they realised he was having difficulty, which was pretty much immediately after starting reception. He's in Yr 1 now, with a statement, and full time support.

I understand your DH's reluctance, however, surely he would be agreeable to whatever will allow your son to reach his potential academically and socially? I don't worry too much about labels. Personally, almost anything that will assist him in developing to his best potential is good in my books.

Hi fatherchewy, welcome to the board, glad you found us.

The first thing i would suggest is that you keep a diary, it helps to get the proffs to take you seriously if you do decide to go.for assesment. Record any difficult or unusual behaviours and how you dealt with them, to show you are being consistant.

Remember, if you do go down the assesment route no one is going to diagnose(dx) your ds unless he actually needs to be. In fact you might have to fight for it.

If at any point during the procedings you change your mind you can stop the process.

We are all different but for me having a dx for Dd3 means i can say," ok, Dd3 didIt that because she has ASD, not because she is deliberately being a pain"

Pressed post too soon then.

It has also meant that I have been able to access a support group and she has accessed some support at school.

My Dd1 has a combo of ASD and ADHD although she has no dx, she is 23 now and I really struggled to get help for her. She has been and still is extremely hard work and struggles a lot with empathy and other peoples rules.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Thank you o your replies guys. Will respond properly but currently n iPad and cannot seem to typeanythingresembling English on the iPad so will reply prowl when I can get to laptop.

And just to add

Keep coming on here because you will get some good advice and support. It is busier at the weekends.

Am off to bed now but will be back on here tomorrow at some point.

ds1 was finally dx with adhd just before he was 10. he's a bit more complex (also has some typically asd traits, some anxieties and phobias, and is gifted - which is sort of why he was left alone for so long).

he takes vyvanse, which school are thrilled to ribbons about as he is now easier to keep on task. me? not sure yet.

we've known since yr r that he is a pita to motivate. the situation came to a head and we went for testing because his new teacher (who would also have been dx with adhd herself if it was done then) essentially saw so many similarities between ds1 and her own daughter, and burst into tears at our parent's evening. she feared he would ultimately just drop out of school in his mid teens, and wanted there to be some sort of intervention to try and fend that off.

he's seeing a psych for all the related stuff currently, and i don't really know where we will go from here tbh. i am tempted to homeschool because he seems to be a square peg in a round hole, but his teacher is keen to try and steer him through. we'll re-evaluate at easter...