Guys I need your help again meeting coming up

[coff33pot]

In short.
School not implemented Statetment since finalised Dec apart from the 1 to 1 bit. LA have organised a meeting with school. HT(senco), EP(not met), LA, OT(hopeful if not letter of recommendations and stress of importance), DH & myself.

LA have said it is perhaps time to review statement (dont know how seeing as nothing in it done.

Miraculously DS reading book diary showing "read TO DS" now has rubbings out and altered to "read together"

Double miraculously a homebook has started since meeting date finalised with most things ticked in it.

Tripple miraculously an IEP half year out of date has suddenly materialised in DS book bag with "to be discussed at meeting written in the home book"

I need help in taking control of this meeting. How do I do this??

write down everything that hasn't happened, then all the things that he still needs. MOST IMPORTANT TAKE SOMEONE WITH YOU FOR SUPPORT.good luck, have my dd delayed annual review in less than 2 weeks

hi coff33

iirc you're not too far (in distance) from me, and although it's going to be a different LA - try parent partnership

they have been blooming marvellous in getting DDs school on board

if i'm way off mark, please feel free to ignore (but don't shout at me, please )

Jane I dont shout a lot. Well I shout at the wall (my friend) I shout at the washing machine about all this school stuff whilst putting washing in and I am surprised my coffee cup still has a handle as it gets slammed next to the kettle on more than one occasion after one of THOSE phone calls

Unfortunately PP have their good uses in some areas but down here can only go sit in a meeting for support but not say anything so really it would be just another body taking up my air in a very small office. Also when I contacted them previously were very hand in pocket in saying that statements are not specified or quantified anymore............so not such a good idea for me.

DH is coming with me and I told him if I squeeze his hand or give him the "look" it is time for him to take over voice wise.

I said to DH I just want to be in control of the meeting from the word go this time, which I guess means some sort of agenda. Something I can follow and not be side tracked into schools way of thinking.

They have already lied saying "its all going well he just has up and down days." last week they were insisting I picked him up early. He has now been hiding in cupboards.

IEP doesnt make sense and wont unless they consider his sensory needs which is the main bug bear and one that they are avoiding.

For instance EP report and school states DS is level P8 in literacy and 1b in numeracy. Aim in statement is to attain level 1b in literacy and 2c numeracy by end of key 1.

IEP section on improving writing skills. The achievement is to achieve writing level P8??? which unless I am reading wrong he was already there or he is failing miserably and gone backwards :(

"its all going well he just has up and down days."

That's not acceptable.
Ask them to quantify this.
It means nothing as it stands.

hi there, yes PP can't say anything much in meetings, but what they can help with is a 'script' to help you press all the right buttons to get to where you want..no good in your area then?

if i were you, i'd copy exactly what you've written here in your post of 16.53 and take that to the meeting - let them answer all those points, the code to DH is a good idea.

DH and i had one at our 1st meeting with school.

Well, when i say 'code' it was more a swift kick under the table

maybe too late for this meet, but from now on I would be taking photocopies of those books so you can have some evidence, sad that anyone should be put in that position. Unbelievable miracles! good luck

moondog this is it. They constantly call you saying he has done this, he is extremely unsettled, he has done that, he could be doing better at this. THEN when challenged, or suggestions made they come out with "he has been ok really"

But yes I will ask them to quantify that sentence :)

Jane the PP woman I met was in herself a really nice woman when chatting off the record about personal experiences over coffee. But once it got to the nitty gritty you could sense that she was on auto pilot. It probably didnt help that I had originally had the same speel from the LA at that time in such copy cat style and so it put me off going back. As a person and an ear to chew off I dont doubt she would be good but unproductive other than that.

Yes it is sad Jerbil whats even more sadder to me is that no doubt the poor TA has been put on the spot to do the amendments. She is lovely and supportive but her hands are tied. Treating DS this way isnt helping her have an easy life either tbh.

There should be a wateright home/school system of communication (to which both parties contribute) a clear definition of what areas you want to work on and some form of measuring either improvement or deterioration. Also a clear definition of what you might term 'problem behaviour' and again, the same form of measurement.

This should occur in the context of some regular formal assessment procedure so you can track progress (or otherwise) with those too.

It's not difficult, it's not expensive and it's not time consuming to sort this stuff out. It's what people are paid to do.

moondog is it possible to draw something up like that myself?

I mean to make this a point of discussion at the meeting and produce a prototype of sorts. I am really trying to, in a figure of speach "put a suit on" at this meeting and be less of a neurotic frustrated mum which is how it normally ends :)

Yes.
Tell them this is what you want and write it down as bullet points and distribute. (I have messaged you too via MN.)

You have your notes from last weeks fiasco don't you?
This will demonstrate what has been happening.
Do you have records (or can you write as best you can remember who you spoke to when and what was said for the last few weeks. - All the phone calls etc. This will also demonstrate what the school are really doing.

You need to ask what exactly is the aim to increase the levels - ie how, where and who will be doing the extra teaching and ask for a timetable with it on. Then each day check to see if it has been done with your DS - and if not e-mail the school saying DS says xyz not done Why not?
They will have to reply - and keep a note of all the replies. It will be more evidence if you need it. If you are on top of them all the time they may be spurred into action.

Sorry had phone call its non stop today.

Yes I have photocopies of my emails. Everyone I sent to LA was copied to HT so it was all as transparent as I could make it.

I have all his old homebooks as once it gets to 4 pages left I retain it as I told them it is all vital towards his london assessment. So they will have a hard job saying "its all going well"

LA are aware I dont have a Learning Plan or a Timetable so one of my points of agenda are to ask them to be produced once the meeting is over.

What I want of this meeting is more of a "future planning into how we all go from here"

They have cocked up so there is no point in a slanging match and I can live in the past forever I just got to stick to guns and tell them what I want and what should be happening. Its when they back track and accuse him or lie that gets me disheartend and tongue tied. They keep firing the "he should be in school on time and directing the problem to me" This gets my goat because if they were considering his sensory needs and following the recommendations to aid that and have something in place when he arrives instead of insisting he joins the whole school in excercise which he refuses due to noisy, crowded and chaotic I would have a half chance of getting him in there on time. he is purely avoiding going for that reason and that he is shut in the class permanently after bar one play. I have started taking him to small dance group at the school after school to get him used to being in the hall (they dont let him go there due to too big a space to get him back) among 15 kids dancing hopefully this will get him used to it and maybe he just might join in in the mornings in keep fit but its a long way off and I cant do it all one sided iyswim. So I guess thats another bullet point :)

Trying to pick the IEP to bits at the moment. Now have an email attachment so at least I can amend and hand it out in a professional manner instead of scribbles.

Also if I here "he MUST conform" one more time I am going to scream.

That's a great tactic-keeping the home book when it nearly gets to the end.
I am liking your style.

I was speaking to an Ed Psych today. She said that if you make reasonable attempts to get the child to change and it is not working then the SCHOOL must make reasonable adjustments to accommodate the child.
It sounds like you are at this point.

So, the school know that as sensory needs must be on the statement, that the arrival in the morning has to be carefully managed to avoid sensory overload.
They need to agree at this meeting what this will consist of so that you can get him to school on time. tell them in no uncertain terms that his refusal is because to him they start the day off with sensory overload making it difficult for him to settle for the day. Ask that A TA meets him and does some transition work ( planning the day with him "plump priming" ( Ed PSYCH words - means pre teaching) any lessons where he may have difficulty etc. then he can make a good calm start to the day.

Interestingly having had my DS's IEP review today we discussed his verbal stimming which has increased hugely since they have managed to get him to stay on his chair9 on move'n'sit cushion and the need for movement breaks to try to avoid this. We agreed to the teacher sending him on more "errands" during the day to get him moving. Would this work with your DS?

Can't think of what else to suggest at the moment.
Any help or is this stuff you have already tried/ suggested?

Thanks alison :) Well the OT is coming on home visit to she if she can put forward any suggestions on morning routine which of course I welcome but I cant see anything that will improve it really as I have tried every trick in the book.

I make sure he has a cooked breakfast as I found he prefers a sausage and an egg or hash brown with a sausage as oposed to cereal which he wont stay at the table for. I sometimes dress in 2 halfs top first then b'fast then bottom. I play hide the socks and hunt, I play dressing up races tween me and him. I have visual aids for bathroom routine and dressing routine etc but unless I actually dress him on a lot of occasions we could end up an hour late!

He will not leave till his sister has left as he wants solo time with me and I really cant chuck her out crack of dawn lol His sister is no issue she gets up, sorts herself out and goes.

He always wants the loo last minute.

I use clocks as he is a time addict.

If I use the car (if DH gets back on time) then that is worse when he gets to school as this is not his routine walk, and I end up getting told the day was awful, which it will be as apart from the walk to school and the one playtime he has no excercise.

If he is worked up then his clothes get ripped off as they suddenly dont fit as not tight enough, his shoes are not right and he nearly cuts his feet off strapping the velcro and then redoing them and then he stops every 2 mins on the way redoing his shoes!

Re the verbal stimming yes DS does that a lot as in massive throat clearing along with eye rolling and this hampers his concentration big time so its a no win when he is stressed.

I see no reason why he cant just go into the class and start his spellings, reading etc in the quiet THEN when the rush of the others coming in starts take him off for a kick of the ball or something as he will be reading for his own diet excercises by then and bring him back in when all is settled......simple to me. I am going to suggest it again.