Holidays for families with a child with special needs

[ollysunshine]

Would love to hear from other parents with a special needs child for some ideas best holidays (in the sun but short flights).

We went to Menorca last year, I first holiday in three years, to a family 4 star hotel which was to be a real treat! We have two children - our eldest daughter (who has just turned 7) has special needs - still awaiting diagnosis ? ASD or ADHD...well, the children's club was non-existant apart from a mini disco at 8 30 - 9pm and at first we were made to feel really uncomfortable by mostly english people - a lot of those older who had chosen to take their holidays in school holiday time!!

Meal time became an absolute nightmare as it was a fairly formal setting and ended up with me going back to the room in tears for the first few nights as our daughter really played up...eventually we decided to take them out for a full lunch mid-day so if they only had a snack in the eve it didn't matter and we started to sit in the 'outside' part of the restaurant near a harbour - which was lively and therefore less stressful for me and my husband if our daughter didn't want to sit still or was a bit noisey.

Would love to hear from other parents who have similar children and know of places to go in the sun that has a good kids club with lots of different activities (she's a keen swimmer) to keep her entertained and give us a bit of a break for some of the day.

Holidays for whole family with a special needs child

We've decided to do self catering after a difficult hotel holiday in Turkey that was just too much for ds to cope with (he's 4 with ASD and LD).
This year we are going to the Murcia region of Spain and have booked a private villa with it's own swimming pool and all mon cons! DS can have his own room with DVD player to watch THOMAS etc and dd 7 will also have her own space.

We plan to chill out by the pool(ds loves swimming) and just have fun playing together. Visit a few beaches in the day and drink local wine under the stars once the kids are in bed!

We hope that this way ds will still have a routine and not have to deal with lots of unfamilliar people / kids round the pool / meal times in dinning room etc.

Couldn't ever put DS2 in a holiday club, he and they wouldn't cope, he wouldn't be safe. We always go for buffet meals hotels if abroad or self catering cottages if in UK. (Or Center Parcs, both expensive and exhausting...)

Hi. We're just back from Lanzarote with 4 month Dd2 and 3year Dd1 (hypertonia, hypermobility and autism). Stayed in villa with pool. Perfect for dd1's shrieking, also meant few had to hear screaming when having a wash in a different bathroom than her own! Ate out a lot, trying to pick places and times to minimise risk of excessive noise, food throwing, flapping, etc. advantage of self catering was being able to get takeout if going out not an option (I don't cook on hols!). Funnily enough dd2's behaviour resulted in takeout rather than dd1's!

Only hideous part was flight! People on return flight recognised us as we boarded and probably panicked at thought of sitting next to us again :o.

Hi, this may seem a bit random, but have you ever thought of going on a cruise? The children's facilities are excellent, you can eat throughout the day or in your room if it's easier & the staff are excellent with children with SN.

Well, there's nothing very glamorous about it, but either
a) going to stay with close familiy (my siblings or my parents, for example)
or
b) self catering somewhere nice and close with beaches (like Jersey or Isle of Man or Ireland or Cornwall or something), which is even better if close adults without children to look after can be prevailed upon to come too (ones like mothers, who are totally up for doing all the cooking and laundry, or like favourite childless uncles, who are happy to play with the children all day)

I never really was a go-to-a-hotel-abroad-on-my-holiday girl, but I can't imagine how it would be restful with a SN child in tow... and going abroad makes it harder to guarantee you can have acceptable (to the child) food available, hence all the anglo-saxon destinations.

Oh, and once you find somewhere that works, do it every year for the foreseeable. For me, a holiday isn't about going somewhere exotic, it's about having a rest, and I'll only manage that if the children are settled and there are plenty of familiar adults around to play with them :)

Thanks for all your responses. Must admit had come to the conclusion that self-catering / villa is the only way to go....sadly, both grandmothers are dead so relying on support from them is not an option...

Would worry with a cruise that if you were having a mare there would be nowhere to escape!! Especially when you feel other passengers/holiday makers wish you were somewhere else!!

Has anyone tried the French holiday camps? - have been recommended this but appreciate any feedback if someone has been there and done it...only down side would be the car journey and ferry over. Quite agree that a holiday should be about having a rest but sadly when there are unknown accomadation / food / people thrown in to the mix it is hard to know what is going to be the trigger.

Thanks again - should have tapped into this resource site years ago!

We've done eurocamp in a mobile home thingy (with electricity- essential for iPod charging) and the ferry journey was a bit stressful, by not too bad. At least you can wander around. dS2 is fine in a moving car but gets very upset in traffic jams and queues for the ferry. Depends on your DD. The swimming pools were a hit and we could take enough breakfast cereal with us to ensure he had one familiar meal a day. French supermarkets are a bit different, but we just had lots of BBQs. (Burgers are hard to come by, but French sausages were acceptable!) We take 'normal' jam and chocolate spread so he wouldn't starve.

Camping on the Gower Penninsula. We are doing it again this summer.

Lots of virtually deserted beaches to explore in your own way/at your pace.

Camping means self-catering or fish and chips, so no stressing re other people's judgey pants "opinions" at meal times. Also means sleeping with your "own" bedding and having familiar bits and bobs around. (DS took the silky sleeping bag he uses at home). Can come & go as you please.

We weren't the only "asd/adhd" family we met, so DS found a couple of playmates. Also local shops/cafes were nice to DS.

We've now tried several campsites. My key requirements are my ghilly kettle for an easy to make cuppa & hot showers on site. A laundry is useful too. DS demands an onsite trampoline for a pre-beach bounce.

You can get the online grocery shops to do a food delivery to the site if you need to, so unlike going abroad you can get some familiar food brands.

If I had a garden I would have acclimatised DS to the tent at home a few times before our first trip. (As it was the dog used her calming voodoo mojo on DS the first night & he slept with her).

We went on Neilsen activity holiday with DS1 (almost 3 at the time) who has traits of autism and DS2 (18 months). They were brilliant. We asked about things when booking, and on arrival they'd assigned DS1 his own 'nanny' in the kids club at no extra cost.

DS1 is language delayed, demand avoidant, but doesn't have meltdowns. Basically, he has social communication / interaction difficulties. He loved the kids club. DS2 who is NT on the other hand got pretty angry everytime we dropped him off.

We are now planning to go on one of these holidays every year. A proper break for DH and I. As a side bonus we even had time to do a sailing course and play a game of tennis.

We met others there with children with SN. One family with an adult son with quite severe learning difficulties, and again all the staff were wonderful with him. They go each year to the same resort, are known, and after a number of years their son has even learn to waterski (on a bar, not rope).

I can't recomend them enough. Normally I'd be a 'lets go backpacking around Nicaragua' kind of person, but times have changed and this now works well.

Thanks again - your responses have been hugely helpful and give me hope that we can (once again!) have a lovely relaxing holdiay.....