Normal, or something to keep my eye on?

[Lougle]

So you all know DD1, GDD, Brain malformation, Special school, yada yada.

If I told you that I had the following conversations with a 4 year old girl, could you tell me if they seem 'normal' to you, or something to think about? (Deliberately vague 'cos I don't want to put answers in your mouths)

Me: DD2, who did you sit next to at lunch.
DD2: No one.
Me: You must have sat next to someone
DD2: No, I didn't.
Me: Are you sure, DD2?
DD2: Yes! I'm sure! I didn't sit next to anyone!
Me: Oh DD2, what happened? Why didn't you sit next to anyone?
DD2: I WAS SAT ON THE CORNER!

2. . Me: DD2, that's very helpful of you. DD2: Me: Do you do that at school? DD2: No, because at school my tray is red and has a circle for my cup.

What do you think? Am I paranoid, or is there something 'odd' about those sorts of conversations?

They're a bit literal - but by themselves I don't think they're anything to worry about, in that 4 yr olds are a little odd at the best of times, lol

1 - we'd have the same thing here. if you're on the corner, you aren't, strictly speaking, 'next' to anyone. if i asked who was on the same table, i'd have been told. so, literal, but not out of the ordinary for the pedants/ aspergers type traits we have here.

2 - do the red trays with the circle for cups go somewhere else? ie not in the kitchen, so perfeclty logical to her, but random to you? only flat trays go in the kitchen...

i should add, those comments are from the pedants that don't have brain damage. the one with the brain damage is very lucid. she explained to me that she didn't want anyone to play with at playtime, as it really wasn't worth the bother. she'd rather wander round on her own. small children live on a completely different planet.

The school trays have an indent for the water cup. The children take a tray, go to the servery, then after eating they take their tray to the disposal table, scrape any food off the tray, put their cutlery in the water, stack the tray.

DD2's thought process was that no, she didn't 'do that' (my 'that' being taking her tray through once she had finished) because her tray at home is flat and yellow, and her tray at school is red with an indent.

dd2 would do similar.

she has several spectrummy traits, but also has a great role model for either rigidly logical thinking (which does make sense on further examination) or off-the-wall illogical bonkers thinking (ie tangential links) so could have learnd that this is the way logic works...

she also has a great line in

oh, should add, she also seems to have an odd (but not at the moment particularly serious impact-wise) language thing going on. she often ends up sounding like english is not her first language (will put adjectives after nouns, verbs at the end of the sentence etc)

time will tell...

Justa!

Yes, I'm thinking over-rigid. But, I identify completely with how you describe DD2, silverfrog. Earlier, she said her legs were growing 'like tree growing plants' - their topic is 'growing things' at school, so she made the link to how her legs grow.

I don't know...there's a niggle. We had the 'I can't possibly wear those trousers because they have two buttons and I am three', etc. We have the 'I can't wear a coat because I can't cope with the zip being wavy when my seatbelt is tightened'.

But, then, I was an absolute pedant as a child. My Mum relays that (aged around 2) I said I wanted to get out of the bath. Mum said 'ahh ok, are you fed up of being in the bath now?' and I replied 'No, I'm not fed up, I just don't want to be in the bath any more'.

Even now, I get totally irritated that DH uses words inaccurately.

Poor kids..they don't stand a chance

Sounds like something dds might say but wouldn't assume anything on those small things. Keep a diary for a few weeks, that's what I would an have done.

I thought she meant in the corner of the dining hall,like she'd been naughty?
Also at my sons school they scrape leftovers into a bin.

The first is something my (NT) dd1 would say. She is very literal, like dh, though.

I wonder with the second, it sounds so random, that if you could work out what exactly she's thinking it would be rational. (or not) Did you try asking her why it made them different? Suspect at 4yo though most haven't the ability to think that through and express it.

Very literal precise thinking and something my DS would come out with. Its a case here of tuning into his wave, listening indepth and turning into sherlock holmes

those sort of conversations are 'normal' chezMare too

school give fruit/veg snacks at the end of the day - DD always needs to go to the toilet before we go home.... typical conversation is this..

Me: do you need to go to the toilet

DD: yes

Me: give me your apple then

DD: no

Me: you can't go to the toilet with an apple, give it to me

DD: no!

Me: let me have the apple!

DD: no, i want to eat it

Me: you can't eat it in the toilet, give it to me

DD: NO it's mine!

Me: (penny drops) you can have it back, i won't keep it forever. let me LOOK AFTER IT

DD: ok

I dunno. Could be something or nothing tbh. I think the literal think is part of normal development but being 'stuck' with the literal is significant.

The thing that would 'niggle' me most though is YOUR niggle. I don't think it should be ignored if you have it.