I'm new to special needs, and am worrying. I'm likely not the first I realise...

[kickingKcurlyC]

I have had some niggling concerns about my daughter's development for a while, but put them to the back of my mind. Perhaps that was a mistake.

Anyway, nursery called me in today, and said they want to do assessments and probably give her a special plan, for social development delay.

She basically has no interest in other children, or interacting with anyone else really. She's 4. She will talk to adults, but prefers to play by herself, all the time, given the choice.

I had sometimes mentioned it before, but people said everyone is different, and maybe she's shy, that sort of thing.

But now nursery are getting worried too, I'm wondering...
What should I be doing? What should I be asking? What should I be reading? Should I take her to the doctor? What might I be doing wrong?

Can anyone talk to me who has been in a similar situation?

Thanks for listening.

Hi, welcome to the SN boards. Lots of advice here from parents/carers who are going through the same thing.

And .

Ok, so what assessments are the nursery talking about? SALT? Education Psychologist? If nursery are starting off the assessments, then really you should be fine with these, but take her to the GP as well, possibly a referal to CAHMS as well.

Sorry if I've not been helpful, DS2 had all his assessments done pre-school and was dxed with autism at 2 and a half.

Hi and welcome to the board.

Sounds like the nursery are on the ball, some places just ignore children with additional needs unless they are throwing chairs or screaming.

I would also go to your GP tell him or her what you are worried about and ask for a referral to your local CDC or to a developmental paediatrician.

Good luck and keep coming back here.

Thanks for your messages.

It's scary, so it helps just to have someone saying hi right now.

Right, first- what is CDC, and what is CAHMS?

child development centre
child and adolescent mental health services

but diagnosis (dx) and assessment varies a lot by area, particularly for social communication type stuff.

so make an appointment with your gp and ask for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. the paed will refer on to specialists and therapists as necessary.

and

nursery have probably called in the area inclusion officer in the first instance. (they work for the local authority - like the next rung up from the senco in the setting). if the area inco thinks it is a good idea, they might recommend an ed psych assessment too. sometimes there is an outreach team that might get involved.

Sounds like nursery are good and doing what they should.
I would start taking notes of things you notice.
And welcome

Yes, like lisad says, do make notes of all the niggling concerns that you have had. If you have evidence of unusual behaviours you can show to the GP, or Health Visitors if that's how it works in your area (I went to GP, and he directed me to HV because of DS's age), it makes it a lot easier to explain and you don't have to worry about forgetting bits. It's easy to forget things as it can be quite emotional. I felt I would: a) forget some issues, and b) cry, so it worked quite well for me, and my list was included in the documentation forwarded to the developmental paediatrician.

I also found I could add things to my list as I did more research, as some of DS's quirks turned out not be quirks but symptoms. But I did have an idea what I was looking for.

How old is your DD?

Thanks, this is all great. I will write more tomorrow when I'm meant to be awake and am not just awake in bed worrying to myself!

Fiolondon, I think I must have missed your posts, but please do push before he gets to nursery. My dd2 was first seen after her 2 year check and was dx at 3. I know a few others here have got early dx too. The whole process takes 9-18 months depending on area.

Fio, I think I missed your posts too. Fwiw my advice would be to get as much as you can Inc dx, statement etc BEFORE school as it is actually the LA and school system that slows things down.

You are all making me think about getting things looked at as much as possible before school now too!
Can you hurry things along at all, or is it just a slow slow system?
We are going to the doctor on Friday to ask about a paediatrician referral.

There are some sensory issues and she has fine motor delay. But it's the social aspect that's the big worry.

The only way to hurry things along is with persistent phonecalls, being flexible and imaginative and refusing to take no for an answer.

Btw you will learn that you need to be a pita at some stage anyway, so you may as well set out like that. Most of us regret not being more of a pita earlier than we were.

It shouldn't be like it but it is sadly.

we move a lot with dd2. about 3-4 months prior to moving i get current paed and therapists to do the referrals to the new team. get full assessments carried out at this point again, so that the new team have up to date info.

at one point i even had a new paed appt date before we moved.

(i just call the local docs office where we're moving to, ask for the local cdc or comm paed's number, then call their secretary to get the address/ names etc for referrals.) sometimes they are helpful, sometimes not.