Social Skills group within school - what do they do, how can it be more effective?

[lingle]

At parent's evening, DS2's teacher said that in the social skills group they "work on taking turns and build up to things like board games".

DS2 already excels at this kind of structured turn-taking. After lots of intervention from me early on, he's fine with losing games. I've never seen him get cross if others bend the rules but we don't cheat much!

So I don't think these are the skills he needs to build up. I'm going to set up a meeting but what DS2 needs is lots of experience of interaction on an informal level so he can keep improving his ablity to follow the twists and turns of children's play. To date he has solved this by copying one best friend. But this friendship is nearing its end now (DS2: "in year 1, A has already broken up with B and Z is about to break up with me and I don't like people breaking up with me"). So it's a good time to work on alternative strategies.

DS2 now 6.6, year 1, history of severe receptive language delay, I suspect some ongoing sensory issues esp. oversensitive hearing, which may "come in waves" (as per testimony of adults like Amber on this board).

Am starting to think he still has receptive language problems - but nothing "disordered", just eg can't follow my neighbour making a simple request but (i) in a thick Northumbrian accent and (ii) in a "polite" (ie very very wordy) way.

At parent's evening teacher said numeracy and literacy good but needs "to give his own opinions" in other subjects not copy others. I suspect he copies when he hasn't understood some of what the teacher is saying. He adores science lessons with a teacher who has a particularly clear and sing-song voice.

Is the easiest thing to do just to say "please talk to him as though English was his second language at all times and use the board games not to assess his own turn-taking but his skills at dealing with other children who don't take turns".

Thanks in advance!

or here's another easy target for the staff and DS2. Ds2 can say at home now "I don't understand" - has had this for well over a year. So I think he could use it at school too.

Your Ds sounds a bit like my Dd3, she is able to follow rules as in turn taking at school and makes all the right noises in her social skills group. But she is unable to transfer these skills to other places ie, home or the playground.

She also watches other children to see what they are doing before she attempts something new.

Dd3 is now getting some really good support at school in the form of a lunchtime group doing physio and fine motor skills stuff. But the SENCO is with them and she sits back and lets the dc's practice their social skills in an informal way and through chat and discussion she is encouraging conversation sharing and maintaining friendships.

The senco is super human though and i am not sure that many would be up to this kind of group. I would definitly recommend it though as a formal social skills group can easily miss the point of learning how to cope with games changing and play evolving.

Good luck

Just a word of caution with the social skills group. DS2 (6) has just been on one of these. He is NT (although he has borderline traits - rather like his father ) but was having a few difficulties with emotions when losing and there had been bullying incidents where he had not stood up for himself and told the teachers.
His social skills group involved 2 of them . He was told that it was a secret club they were in - and so never told me what they had been doing. The other party was a girl from another class.
I just got the feeling that it was a tick box exercise to say that the school were addressing issues of bullying/confidence/self-esteem etc. There was no feedback and no perceivable change.
DS1 is on a motor skills group - and this is completely different - very valuable.
I would find out what they are likely to be doing in this group, how many, ages etc (no names - not important, but ages and years and mix is).

My school run a 'puppet club' by invitation only to those children needing social skills help. They have a lovely time creating puppets, getting them to 'talk' to each other and put on a cooperative show. It's a social skills group but the children would never know that. Would something like that work? It would need a good facilitator to get it working properly.

"she sits back and lets the dc's practice their social skills in an informal way and through chat and discussion she is encouraging conversation sharing and maintaining friendships."
sounds ideal. DS2 has volunteered go to after-school club on a quiet Monday because a boy from his class whom he likes is there. But they haven't played together yet even though they play at my house!

thanks for the warning auntevil. School has always been good but we aren't lucky enough to have the Senco, just a TA running it. I'm sure a very good TA but I can't assume any technical expertise so I need to describe school's targets in a very straightforward way.

love the idea of the cooperative show Ellen - I would much prefer this.

The puppet show sounds brilliant ellen.

Would be great for encouraging imaginative play too. Which in turn could support creative writing, something else that Dd3 really struggles with.

I wish I could say it was my idea, but we have a lovely TA who works for the SENCo, who runs it. (She also takes children on school action plus for various interventions.) It's run once a week at lunchtime. Last term they did glove puppets, this term they did shadow puppets. Very good for acting out stories and also some children find it easier to get the puppet to do the talking for them, less eye contact required and less pressure on them.

Its just what our dc's need though, someone with a bit of imagination to offer the children experiences and opportunities to practice their skills.

Often IME children with ASD need to be taught skills that other children just absorb. That doesnt mean that they will never be able to do these things, just that they need patience, understanding and a willingness from adults to think creatively of ways to teach the skills.

It works as a little 'circle of friends' as well. Carefully chosen children, some of whom need help, some who are good role models and potential friends. They have something in common that they can talk about outside the club. Doesn't always work, of course.

Senco at Dd3's school is very cleverly using some children that Dd3 has already formed a bond with, they have pyhsical disabilities but not the problems with social skills that Dd3 has. She likes to help them with physical things but they are helping her scoially without any of them really realising.

third after-school club today and he apparently did play with the little friend for 20m or so.

just shows that you need to get the environment right for our kids.

EllenJane, that sounds great.

DS2 has been involved in social skills/nurture groups. They work on asking for help, practicing verbal skills in social situations, also some turn taking etc.
Not every child at the group needs help with the same things, for ds2 who is excellent at turn taking & rules it was a great cnfidence booster for him to be good at something & show the others & the more verbal ones were able to help him with initiating conversation & understanding others.
They are still working on lots of things but its an ever changing group & they get biscuits

Great news lingle, 20 mins is quite a long time.

good point don't remember - just because he doesn't need help taking turns doesn't mean it isn't good for him!

thanks Ineedalife, I find about 20m is about enough for me too!