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Birthday Parties! Or not :(

8 replies

Tanith · 11/03/2012 10:29

I'm a childminder. One of the children I care for has a statement and has full time 1-1 support at his preschool.

When he first came to us, his daycare nursery had politely requested his removal due to his behaviour (biting, head butting, hitting, among other things). This has improved so much since then, although he does sometimes need to be reminded to take care or calm down.

I have noticed that, when the other children have had birthday parties, he is the only one not invited :( I know because I have to distribute the invitations.

What I'd like to do is to have a birthday party myself and invite the minded children so that he gets to experience at least one party, and the parents can see that he won't throw the birthday cake, dribble in the jelly and ice-cream, attack the birthday child, and all the other horror situations they may be imagining :)

What I don't want to do is to patronise or cause offence and I'm well aware that I'm not looking at this from his parents' point of view.

Please can you tell me honestly what you think? It's months until his own birthday so no risk of them thinking it's his birthday we're celebrating. Would you be upset if someone did this for your child, or feel that I was being interfering?

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Tanith · 11/03/2012 10:33

I should add that I've no intention of telling them it's for his benefit, but that doesn't stop them guessing!

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SallyBear · 11/03/2012 10:39

I invited a DC last week back for tea, who isn't in my ds3's form but they had been in reception together. The dc is yet to be dx Aspergers, but definitely on the spectrum. He had a great time with my dc and his mum was very grateful as he doesn't get invited to parties, back for tea etc. I know what this feels like because two of mine are on the AS.

Anyway, my point is that I felt that this is good for my NT DS3 as it shows him the importance of accepting that everyone is different, broadens his friendships and it also teaches him to make allowances for this dc's (and others) quirky behaviours.

Do the party, and be low key about it. Try it as a fund raising thing for Sport Relief or something, anything that would detract from your real purpose. Smile

Tanith · 11/03/2012 10:58

Thanks, Sally! I hadn't thought of a fundraising party.

It's my own birthday soon and I'd thought to celebrate that, but I suspect we wouldn't see the cake for all the candles Grin

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coff33pot · 11/03/2012 12:27

It is a good idea :)

It could be a party for anything though.
Friendship pary? Buddy party?
Teddy Bears Tea Party where they all bring a dress up bear?
Disney party where they dress up as their favourite princess or disney character?

Any reason to party is good! Grin

aliceinboots · 11/03/2012 13:17

I think it's a great idea. I'd be chuffed to bits. Smile. You sound lovely.

Catsdontcare · 11/03/2012 19:50

I think it's a great idea. Sometimes as parents we don't care why our children are invited to a party just as long as they get to experience it!

oodlesofdoodles · 11/03/2012 20:00

Lovely idea, go for it.

Tanith · 12/03/2012 21:44

Thank you for your suggestions and comments, everyone!

Party time, it is!!! Grin

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