Hoping someone can help me with advice. DS is 7 and has shown autistic markers since - oh way back, since nursery. My sister is an early years teacher and has always said that he's on the spectrum.
He's very obsessive. He's had a series of obsessions each one has persisted for months and sometimes years. The first one was keys. He just wanted to look at them, play with them, insert them in locks, talk about them, walk around with them in his pocket. Repetitive questions about keys. Then he started on fire alarms and signs. He couldn't walk past a sign without needing to stop and talk about it. Again - very repetitive questions. I had to carry him in a sling to nursery until he was nearly 4 because you just couldn't get him to walk or stay in a pushchair - he needed to stop and look at signs and talk about them the whole way there.
He's hypersensitive, becomes obsessed with tiny injuries or scratches, has very sensitive hearing, and becomes incredibly distressed by fire alarms at school, to the point that the teachers used to phone me and warn me if they knew they were going to have a fire drill that day, because he'd be so upset coming home.
At 7 he's very, very literal minded, can't be reasoned with, shouts, tics, often belches every 5 seconds for hours on end, and is very difficult to discipline. He fiddles obsessively with the family computers (changes all the settings and passwords), and the dog (he made her lactate he fiddled with her nipples so much!)
I initially raised my concerns about his unusual behaviour with his key worker at nursery and when he went into reception, but was brushed off. His teacher in reception was the SEN co-ordinator at the school. She just insisted that he was 'eccentric' and 'his own person' (which of course he is, but he's also got special needs!). Anyway, back the first week of year one and the same teacher calls mein and says to me that she wants to make an appointment for him to see the EP, and, her exact words: 'I'll eat my hat if he's not on the autistic spectrum'. Well - yes, we know!
Anyway, that was at the beginning of year 1. He's now half-way through year 2 and has seen the EP twice, but we've had no feedback, other than for her to have met with us at the beginning of the academic year and told us she thinks he has aspergers, and possibly ADHD. But nothing on paper. Nothing about his abilities or his learning needs, or what we or his class teacher can do to help him. And now she's gone off on long term sick leave and we've been left wondering what, if anything, will happen next. He's been referred to CAMHS, but I've been told it'll be months and months before we see anyone. The school seem to have nothing to say. I feel that because he's making some progress and is achieving in line with their expections (but not mine) they're happy to sit back and do nothing. Despite his difficult behaviour at home, and tics/impulsiveness, he's not violent or really difficult at school.
He needs more support than he's been getting at school, and we need support with parenting him. Our other children could do with help coping with his behaviour at home. I was speaking to a friend about this yesterday - she's a primary teacher, and she's strongly encouraged me to consider getting a private assessment done NOW to move things along, but we don't know where to start.
Who would do a private assessment? How much would it cost? Is it common for people to get a private assessment done and do schools take any notice of them?
Really grateful for input from anyone who's gone down this route!