Moondog/Working/others - how do you work on social anxiety around communicating?

[appropriatelytrained]

DS is 9 and one of the significant difficulties he faces is what can be best be described as anxiety in relation to speaking to people he is not familiar with.

So, with familiar people, or 'scripted conversations' (e.g. having to ask people things from a questionnaire) or perhaps on his special interest, he will be ok.

Ask him to say hello to the school receptionist and he is panicked.

This is one of his SLT targets and he is doing it bit by bit with his TA - practising taking something to the school office and saying hello to the receptionist.

This is a very slow process and generalising these skills will surely take even longer as each new person met is a new task in itself.

Any ideas for materials around this topic?

Could you teach him a few basic conversations so that he is rehearsed and then familiar with how it could go. Hello is not just Hello. It is inviting a unscripted conversation. He will be naturally concerned about what he is supposed to say next.

Hello
How are you
I'm fine
Ok bye - for example

Maybe a social story?
If not a practice script might be worth doing? It's hard because if it then goes off script he may get more worried, where as atleast with a social story you can account for that change.

appropriatelytrained
You may find this article of some interest The Trouble With Strangers which was the result of an OldAPD /APDUK online research program some years ago.

I am working quite intensively on this issue with a couple of kids right now with schools.

We have first of all worked on direct requests as easier than the vague concept of hello

1. broken the issue of asking for help down into three component parts
2. had all the class watch the staff in turn role play asking for help and kids giving immediate feedback with a 'good' and 'bad' symbol.
3. drilled the three component parts
4. got all the children to practice it with rest of class giving feedback
5. given specific targets for each child of asking for help a certain amount of times a day (the rest of the school staff know to expect lots of different requests throughout the day
6. these are noted on a data sheet with tick boxes for each of three component parts

It's worked fantastically well and we have seen lots of spillover with spontaneous requests for help, information sharing and greetings (data taken on all naturally)

We also checked the children really did know the names of all the staff using picture SAFMEDS of them (they didn't but they do know).

*Shall elaborate at length on this intervention in MN training day.

That is very interesting Moondog - DS's target is 3 x a week. Do you think that is not enough to be worthwhile?

I have a lovely S&LT (we're paying privately at the moment awaiting NHS statementing provision) but I think this is not a strength for her - and imagine that is similar for lots of S&LT.

Would it be possible for me to draw her attention to your work or put her in touch with you?

Three times a week!!!
Come on!
Too little and not often enough.
If you wasnt to get something better, you practice, practice, practice.
This concept seems firmly embedded in every sphere (think sport or music) aprat from education and communication which is a searing indictment of just how much we have all taken leave of our basic faculties of common sense.

We're talking 25 times a week at least and this data goes home with parents expected to work on it as much so 50 times a week. I would point out that this has no impact on all the other things the child is expected to do-it takes minutes.

oo many 'interventions' don't have the pace and intensity that is needed. It's like schools who do 'a letter a week'. We 'do' a letter about every 5 minutes.

Fantastic moondog (as always).

Dd3 used to speak to anyone but she finds it much more difficult now.

She is now after a lot of work able to ask for help with her work in one classroom with one teacher.

Our aim is to get her to a point where she will be able to tell someone that she is upset or unwell before she goes to secondary, 2.5 years away.

Op i would agree about using scripts, Dd3 is much more able to cope if she knows what she is going to say.

Moon dog, i would so love to come on your course.

AT I can't actually train other s/lts in interventions.
It's not part of my job remit. (Although if people wish to emply me to do so then I can)
I do however lecture on these issues in various conferences.
If you contact me privately I can tell you where my next one will be as the slides wil be put on the relevant university's website after I have done the lecture.

Moondog I shall contact you privately!

The trouble I always had with ds' school was getting them to understand that DS needed to practice. It took A MONTH to get them to agree to having DS hand out snack to the children by asking them what they wanted and LISTENING to the answer. The way I saw it he would have 30 opportunities to practice each day, but they decided that he should do it just 3 times a week and just with one specially selected child.

He should have been on that target for 2-3 days. Instead it was for 2 terms and he never met it confirming to them that my targets were shit and I should leave it up to them, the experts.

Worse still, this target is included in the tribunal as evidence of the brilliant strategies they have in place. In fact, it is the only strategy actually mentioned .