Constant babble is driving me insane!!

[Lolaismyfavouriteandmybest]

Dd is 5.5 dx of ASD but also partially sighted. She had delayed speech and did not babble as a baby. BUT she babbles now. All the time. Her speech is advanced now (and has been since she actually decided to speak aged 2) but she now seems to need to fill any quiet time with noise, she whistles, hums, sings, babbles, or plays musical instruments constantly.

What drives me the craziest is she does this while we are trying to talk to her, it really is la la la I'm not listening. I just see red and end up screaming at her :(

Any suggestions as to how we can get her to tone it down? Both Dh and I are in chronic pain at the moment so we are both tetchy. We are having to parent in tag team style with dh staying out of earshot until I just can 't take any more.

Gentle reminders are like water off a ducks back. Punishments like losing a toy for the day if she makes silly noises after she's been asked to stop either have no effect (are ignored) or trigger a tantrum because she feels she is being treated unfairly

It sounds like a sensory thing, could you try to move it on to getting her to listen to music on headphones, or maybe even a game or something that she could make noise on with headphones.

I think punishing her is just going to make it worse tbh :(

My ds does this too... especially when we are trying to get him to do something, the only thing that works for us (sometimes) is distraction (and lots of it too) which I know is so much effort, but worth it for me. I do understand though, it drives me up the wall sometimes and I'm not in pain, like you. We also have found that giving him some headphones or a game that makes sounds.

I too was prone to shouting sometimes, but he would just laugh (doesn't understand) and I would always feel terrible for shouting at him.

My Dd3 makes constant noise too, she is either singing, humming, talking stamping, banging or all of the above

If no one is talking to her she talks to herself.

I think this is part of your Dd's ASD, she is sensory seeking, if you really can't stand it you may need to get some ear plugs.

Now that the weather is better maybe she could spend some time being noisy outside. She might resond well to a trampoline or a gym ball. Although Dd3 makes noise while she is doing this too.

I really don't think you should punish her. Maybe you should just walk away if her noise is bothering you.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but she has ASD and probably has no idea that she is being annoying.

Forgot to say that sometimes I just join in with him, which will start both him and me laughing... so good therapy for me as well!

DS talks non stop irrespective of wether anyone is listening or not. Or squeals, jumps, roars etc when in full sensory seek.

To be honest I have become deaf to the majority of it as it is constant going. I do find that the more noise there is in the house the louder he is. If its quiet then he is quiet so its sensory. The more nervous he is the more he asks questions and talks too.

I cant punish him for something he cant help but I do try to teach him the appropriateness of when to be quiet. eg if DH and I are talking I put a flat hand up in a sharp movement and just say "we are talking" and I repeat that. If it doesnt work then we move to the next room and if he follows the hand goes up again followed by "if you wish to stay you must be quiet" Doesnt work immediately as its like a winding down battery but it helps him and we dont get stressed trying to talk over him.

Ds talks hums sings etc all the time. He is older and I know ask him to be quiet - usually doesn't work and then I say in a sharp voice "repetitive noises".
We have had lots of conversations about how annoying I find the repetitive noises. Often this does the trick. I know he does it as he finds it comforting - he has explained, and I have explained that it winds me up. Ahh well....

Sometimes I join in the singing too. As baboos said it can set us both of laughing and diffuse the situation.

Or as my singing is particularly bad it can put him off making his noises as he wants me to stop too

Lola you have my sympathy. People who don't have to live with it can't understand how incredibly nails-on-a-black-board oppressive it is. It's like having the telly jammed on a foreign programme really loud.
I do find that loads of exercise wears him out and relaxes him = less drivel.

Lola, when I just read read the thread title to dh he asked if I had started it. Ds1 has AS and talks non stop, and ds2, probable asd, babbles, screeches, grunts, screams or whatever noise he can think think of. These past few days have been particularly difficult as we are putting in a stud wall in ds2 and ds3's room to give them their own space. I guess the change is making ds2 even more anxious as it has been NON STOP, coupled with lots and lots of jumping up and down and flapping, and I now feel guilty for shouting at him :(

I'm not sure if it's good or not that I'm not alone with this problem.

I agree that it's sensory and that It's worse when she's unsettled/tired. during the day she has access to a large range of musical instruments which helps her make noise in a more constructive way (and I mean playing rather than just making noise) and I can usually just let her get on with it and remove myself if it gets too much.
The flash points are; meal times (if i don't stay with her she stops eating but the babble whilst i'm eating gives me indigestion!). Times when I need to talk to her (and she clearly wants to stay in her little world) , like when i try to tell her we have to leave the house soon and she should start getting her things on.... And last bur very much not least, bed time, when she tired and my pain levels are at their highest

Ear plugs for me are a no. I can't put anything in my ears (one of my sensory things) and I have very little sight so knocking out a working sense isn't a good plan.

Headphones for her aren't acceptable to me at meal times and not practical at bath/bed time or when I need to communicate with her.

But she does NOT babble AT ALL at school and far less for my mum. She seems to save it all for me (but it gets a reaction so I should expect no less.....) which is why I have tried punishments. It really feels like she is torturing me. I understand that it makes her feel better but the way I feel at the moment I can't stand being around her when she does this

My ds saves his worse behaviour for me too, and I really do sympathise with you. Our OT explained that home was a safe space for him to vent frustrations where he can meltdown or stim to his hearts content.

Do you have an OT? Ours gave us lots of helpful stuff in the form of a sensory diet sheet to try to reduce ds from meltdowns or inappropriate behaviours.

The problem is that the more resistance, the more urgent a stum becomes, I've always found that letting him be is the quickest way to overcome an issue.

And when I shout at her it stops. Sometimes for a short time, but usually until the next day! I know this means she is holding it in and it really upsets her when I shout, as until recently I rarely shouted at her and she's not used to it. (it's the pain affecting my tolerance and u shout much more quickly at the moment)
The more I shout the more desensitised she will get though, and I really don't like bullying her into stopping, but cannot deal with it.

And yes I'm trying to manage my pain with strong pain killers but they have their own problems. There is no magic cure and it's not likely to improve any time soon.

No OT, that would constitute support! Health care professionals were very keen to assess and diagnose but at that point their job seems to be done.....

That is shite, she needs an OT. Do you have acces to anyone who can push for support? CAHMS, Respite, school nurse?

Or what about going back to her paed and asking for an auditory referral since her sensory issues seem to be aural.

Not sure about trying to go back to doc/paed to be honest. They have been little to no help in the past. I thought we were getting on better without the constant appointments (which dd found traumatic and used up all my holiday entitlement from work) i'm not sure she has a paed now officially (was under CDC until 5 but the only contact now is a phone number for the school nurse) at the height she was under 9 different consultants at 5 different hospitals. Only 2 were any use at all. I'm down to just the ophthalmologist (who is fab) and I like it that way. I found far more sense on here about the ASD stuff than I ever got from CDC.

It's ironic that dd can only deal with continuous or loud noise if she's making it she's always had issues with things being too loud or the noises being wrong right from being a baby (had a violent hatred of a cube that played songs at about 6 wks old!) I'm guessing she gets it from me as I seem to have huge sensory issues at the moment....

And last time I told the doc I was having trouble coping due to my physical disability, instead of support or understanding I got social services coming down on me like a ton of bricks monitoring my parenting competence! which made things far far worse...... I can't go down that road again.

Bless you what a pickle you are in x

School doctor is ususally the pead down here just a different title.

Is it possible to video her a little? Then either take to school doc or GP and say she has already been dx with ASD and there is a high possibility that she has sensory difficulties and could he/she refer her to an OT so you can complete a sensory profile?

Hi Lola,

My DD is not dx SN but is constantly noisy at an extremely high volume. I agree punishments don't work but we have had some success with rewards (she doesnt actually stop talking but she might whisper instead of yelling). It feels pretty bad getting to defcon 4 by breakfast time but much nicer to say, "If you can be quiet while Mummy does this task we can go to the playground before tea" etc. Also then we point out opportunities when it is acceptable to be noisy, such as at the playground.