nudging the autistic spectrum?

[kilmuir]

Just had a chat with Ed Pysch who went to see my DS at preschool. They were worried about repetitive behaviour and his seemingly lack of interacting with peers.
She was very refreshing, and said that the world needs to accept that not all children will fit same box. She has given us ideas to reduce the repetitive behaviour, something simple like asking him why he is doing it, how does he feel and suggesting we do something else instead.
I mentioned he was not dry at night, he is 3.10, felt an idiot as she thought that was fine. Annoyed with myself for doubting that i thought this was ok
Looking forward to seeing her again in a few months.

Looking forward to seeing her again in a few months

I can't imagine why you would be.

She sounds totally rubbish.

You do realise that your DS is displaying some autistic cahracteristics suvh as the repetitive behaviour and solitary pursuits?

So why she thinks he'll be able to tell you why he's doing it just must me laugh - children with ASD simply don't have that insight.

She was very refreshing, and said that the world needs to accept that not all children will fit same box

Let me transalte this for you:

Yes, your child is displaying some behaviours that mark him out as different from his peers
Yes, your son is dispalying behaviours that may indicate ASD
However, we will conveniently forget this and just have a little smile while denying him the specialist input he should be receiving from an early age to help him overcome his difficulties - after all, if we did acknowledge that he may need extra help we'd have to pay for it and that just wouldn't do.

So let's just celebrate diversity.

have to agree entirely with wet august post

Sorry you are talking bollocks. We are not in the uk, so not a question of anyone having to pay for it so lets conveniently forget this and deny him input is crap. Just because you have had a bad experience does not mean it applies to everyone. In fact if it was down to money she would surely be advising more sessions and input.
Only MAY indicate ASD, I am not jumping on the I must have a diagnosis band wagon. Why can't children be different? He CAN tell you why he seems to get comfort from the repetitive behaviour and is aware that people are watching him so tries to hide.
And before all the hard nosed people jump up and say i have no idea what a diagnosis and living with someone on ASD spectrum involves , you are wrong, I do.

So what was the point in posting in the first place? To tell us that "the world needs to accept that not all children will fit same box".

In fact if it was down to money she would surely be advising more sessions and input.

That honestly has to be one of the funniest, if not pathetic, things I have ever read on this board.

Lady, you have a lot to learn.

I resisted using the word Bollocks to describe what your wonderful EP had said to you.

I shall now overcome my hesitance and say that both you and your EP are talking bollocks.

Oh well - just stick your head firmly back in the sand.

Sorry kilmuir but the majority of musmnetters are from UK so assumptions are made. Also you are posting on the special needs board! If you don't want assumptions to be made about your child or ideas to be put to you about their behaviour then perhaps post in a different forum?? People that post on here tend to either have a child with SN or thibk their child may have SN, or be in total denial!

I'm very sad to read such mesages on this board, of all places. Is there some back-story about that OP that I am not aware of or has the board changed beyond recognition?

Some posters seem to have jumped in in a very adversarial fashion. The OP has posted in SN before and received good advice. Not sure why this post seems to have struck such a chord with some?

It may be that the EP is being a little too positive and isn't actually giving you the best advice. In the UK an EP can't DX and usually being employed by a cash strapped LA, their reassurances should be taken with a large pinch of salt. You aren't the UK, however, but the EPs motivation may still be in doubt. Your DS, if he is on the autistic spectrum, will not benefit from platitudes. He will benefit from some targeted early intervention. I'm sure you will be keeping on top of things. Has the EP given the school and yourself advice on how to improve your DS's interactions and behaviour?

Sorry OP but your thread has the title of "nudging the autistic spectrum?"

Which is a question and lead me to believe that you are thinking this? or it is on your mind? Maybe this is why you are getting the response that the EP isnt helping you enough because of your title. :)

It is also nice of her to say the world must accept that all children wont fit the same box however sadly not ALL the world will so again the next post was support rather than bollox if you had posted a query as to wether your child had ASD iyswim

Repetitive behavour is an autistic trait as is interaction. It wouldnt make me rush off and scream autism! without further investigation but also I wouldnt take one persons word for it either.

It could well be that your DS is just very young and likes the sound of his voice for now. I hope for you that is all it is and yes 3.10 is no biggie on not being dry at night. My NT child wasnt dry at night till 7.

i was expecting to read something different with the thread title.

my ds is displaying characteristics, we have a strong family history of ASD and the proffessionals involved just ignore me, think im crazy ect ect so i can see why this thread as caused the reaction because proffessionals are constantly letting children down.

OP dont always take what proffessionals say as gospel, they se a snap shot of your child, something must have made you get the proffessionals involved so just be wary.

ds's salt the other day "i'm not thinking autism he is a lovely lovely boy" WTF? my 3 nephews are all bloody lovely children they have autism, ds is fine 1-1 if im there and will interact with an adult if hes called over so shes not getting a true picture.

ds's developmental paed actually laughs when i talk about his behaviour, he dismisses anything i say and makes me look bloody nuts on the paed reports, he thinks everything is language based...ds is 12months behind in the areas linked to autism, not sure of the relevance but im chuffed off its not being considered.

my ds may not have autism but to not even consider it gets my back up, its not a breath of fresh hair... its bloody failing our children... i dont want my ds to fit in a box but i want to get him any help i can

Hi Kilmuir
Im pleased that the appointment was positivem, hopefully whewn you see her again she will be able to totally set your mind at ease all the more.
i do get he "not all kids fit the box" statement and just becuase a child is not your average joe doenst mean they are autistic or have any other sn for that matter.
TBH if our schools werent so keen for all kids to be taugth/treated/behave & respond in such a set way then our autistic kids may find they fit in a little more.
It may be that if your sons behaviours continue then they will have to reconsider but in the meantime ejoy him for who he is.

She is playing 'wait and see'.

Professionals quite often smile and nod encouragingly and play that game. it's very sensible, because of course, some of the children they see are just developing at a different rate and the appointment in a few months confirms this (and they are discharged).

For some of the children, the repetitive behaviours and social issues (and hiding) increase, and so the next appointment becomes the first of many many many more on the road to diagnosis. But they will play 'wait and see' for as long as they can, because to suggest intervention of any sort costs someone money, and time, and can upset some parents.

So quite often, professionals like to have a few sessions before they raise 'label' words with parents, just to try and gauge if they are likely to freak out. (forewarned is forearmed and all that).

We are all different. Not all kids fit the same box.

Some of them have autism. The world does need to accept that autism exists.

I'm not in the UK either. I have absolutely no clue why that is relevant? ds1 had a full assessment which celebrates his diversity. He didn't pick up an ASD dx, just 'traits', which we knew anyway. It doesn't mean they don't exist, and the paed referred him to a completely different psych for those. He's a lot older, though.

At 3.10, unless his issues are extremely obvious, an EP will always play wait and see. Unless you are in the US, where early intervention and screening is generally better, and they have better outcomes as a result.

She didn't assess anyway, did she? Didn't get you to fill in checklists etc? Just had a quick look at how he interacts at nursery?

I get that you are relieved that she didn't immediately diagnose - so he can't be that autistic or she'd have picked it up? That doesn't rule anything out though, you know that.

And she didn't say 'perfectly NT. no concerns whatsoever'. She muttered some loveliness about diversity and is coming back to observe him again.

Welcome to the rollercoaster.

very good post MadWoman. OP - the reason why people have seemed so blunt and negative on this thread, is that the very first contacts with doctors/HV etc about possible developmental problems tend to be very reassuring, but falsely so. In my personal experience, I was fobbed off twice with the "wide range of normal" comment, before my child hit 3, and was diagnosed with severe language delay. I sincerely hope that the EP's advice works, and am the first to say that some children may be quirky/have ASD traits (I assume that your are happy with your DS's language generally?) rather than needing a diagnosis. Certainly the fact that your DS can articulate his emotions etc so well sounds v positive. Nobody is wishing a diagnosis on you or your son. Try and see the blunt posts as genuine concern that your son doesn't miss out on support.

Also - the vast majority of early intervention would involved improving language/play/interaction - so nothing that would be a detriment to a child if it ultimately proved unnecessary. So people on this board, myself included, tend to be massively in favour of early intervention, if there is any doubt.

Dont be afraid of reading materials about autism to see if there are any useful points re:behaviour etc. There are techniques for dealing with language delay/autism etc that will benefit any child.

Kilmuir: "Just had a chat with Ed Pysch who went to see my DS at preschool. They were worried about repetitive behaviour and his seemingly lack of interacting with peers."
So preschool have asked the ed pysch to come in? They must have concerns then.
Did someone say he was 'nudging the autistic spectrum' or is that what you think?