Dog for child with anxiety problems?

[ToffeeWhirl]

Just wondered if anyone had any experience of a dog or other pet helping their child to cope with their SNs? I know that children with autism can find it very calming to have a family dog. My DS (12) has OCD and other anxiety disorders and is suffering a lot at the moment. He has been off school for two months now (not for the first time), so I am essentially home educating him. He has asked for a dog in the past, but it wasn't possible then. However, we think we could cope now and that it might be a good thing for him - hopefully, even getting him out of the house (something which he is too anxious to do at the moment). He loves his friends' dogs and both DH and I have happy memories of family dogs when we were children ourselves.

Has anyone else taken this step to help their child? If so, did it help? What were the pros and cons?

Yup

Pros

Best therapy he's had. Bar none. Hands down. Anxiety reduction has been her KEY role (son AS).
Has kept me sane at times too.

My wee cousin borrowed my last dog after his Mum died of cancer, cos life in general made him very anxious at the time. He's not ASD and the old dog worked miracles for him.

Cons

Walking in the cold and wet (hint get a dog that doesn't NEED a 10 mile hike in the snow). Forking out for pet insurance. What happens if dog gets ill or dies on you?

Choosing a dog

There's lots of stuff over on the doghouse board so I've just mentioned the stuff I think is SEN specifc.

paws.dogsforthedisabled.org/ Workshops for parents in this kind of situation re how dogs can help.

Do not choose a staff or dog that gets a similar "cross the street to avoid" reaction from the public if you want the dog to help his social skills. Our dog has worked wonders on DS's confidence in this area.

Likewise don't choose an uber bouncy breed if your child has a hyperactivity issue (for your own sanity as they will gang up on you!). If your child is time intensve choose a low maintenance dog.

If you want a rescue dog choose a breed rescue where they foster rather than a pound dog (that includes places like battersea) as you'll get better advice and help choosing a suitable dog for your child. The best ones will do a personalised matching service if you are prepared to wait a few months. We got a whippet from Lurcher link and she's perfect for us.

If you want a puppy do be aware they are as much work as a newborn child for the first year so be realistic as to whether you can devote that much effort into a pup and give your child the right amount of attention. I decided toilet training a pup would be too much for me so chose a yearling. (Old enough to be housetrained but young enough to do the "fun" parts of dog training with my son's involvement.)

Whatever breed you get - do look at the kennel club website for stuff like longetivity, inherited diseases etc for that breed. I remember deciding against a mastiff when I realised they only live 8 years and a cavilier king charles spaniel when I read the sheer number of genetic disorders they might have. A good puppy breeder will test for common genetic defects and be happy to show you the test results.

Forgot to say my old dog used to go visit the child CAHMS in patients once a week. I don't have time to do that now with DS on the scene but several of those children were in hospital for anxiety related disorders.

I got a puppy for DS (6yrs) 19 months ago now and it was the best thing I have ever done :)

He feeds him brushes him and holds the lead to walk him. It gave him responsibility and helped build his self esteem. Also with the dog lead in his hand he focus more on the dog than everything around him so it keeps him grounded. He is DS special friend and they are glued at the hip lol

Cons: Puppys need training and wet a lot! so you have to have patience. It needs walking even if DS didnt want to go out but saying that we bought Jack Russell and have a garden too and he is small enough to zoom around the house and out in the garden should your DS be having an off day.

There is a big article about this in the latest NAS Magazine, Communication. It came out about 2 days ago. You might be able to find the info at their website.

have you though about an akita? i have an akita and when i say she is the best dog weve ever had i am not exaggerating! if your willing to put in the training they need from puppy hood then you shall have no probs. or maybe adopt a 6/9 month old one from a rescue. akitas are well known for their bond with theyre families inparticular the children in their family. they actually have 'babysitting' in their history! the japanese would leave their children/babies with their akitas while they went out to battle, hunt or work. the only thing i would advise is aswell as strict training, you must socialise. they love their families so so much and all they want is to be near them and protect them. ignore all the negative press and reputation. i take my akita on school runs, she comes to the park, she comes to town with me and my kids. she has kids and toddlers often approaching to stroke, shes even ran out the front door and ran around the neighbourhood! and has never shown any sort of aggression. the only time shes ever become aggressive is when me and my kids were on a bus and some guy came on shouting, swearing the lot and my akita would have none of it, not letting him anywhere near us. i dont have a child with autism, but i do have 3 small children and my 19 month old daughter has development delays physically and mentally. i have 2 german shepherds also that are brilliant with my kids (as most shepherds are) but my akita is so gentle and always by my children and sleeps in my daughters room. sorry if ive bored you alittle but cannot stress enough how wonderful the akita breed is, if you ever have one, youll understand x

I am nt (I think) but have first hand experience of a dog helping with anxiety. Its just my personal experience, but I'll tell you my story to see if it helps.

When I was a teenager (about 18, so older than your ds) I developed severe anxiety and agoraphobia. I had been ill for a few months when my mil (then my bf's mum obviously) found a german shepherd in the local park. She was in a terrible state, riddled with fleas, terrible skin infections and sores round her neck where she had rope that had rubbed at her skin. She had been seen tied to a tree by several people, but then disappeared. When mil found her she was collapsed under a bush and close to death.

At the time the only way I could get out of my parents' house was to go directly to my bf's house by car and straight in the front door without stopping once I arrived. I happened to be there when they found the dog.

I instantly fell for this poor exhausted wreck of a dog and took it upon myself to nurse her back to health. I bathed her daily, treated her flea and skin conditions and dealt with the awful continuous diarrhoea caused by starvation and parasite overgrowth. Then a strange thing started to happen to me. I realised that worrying about and taking care of her, had taken the focus away from me and I wasn't feeling as anxious. Yes I was worried about her - but in a healthy way, iyswim.

After a while I found I was able to go with her to the local vets to discuss her care and treatment and ended up doing this a couple of times a week at least - whereas before I literally never left the house, except for a short car trip to my bf's house. Then when she was well enough to start going out for walks, I was able to very slowly build up my ability to go outside with her. We started off just walking to the corner - she was weak and I was scared, but we did it together. Eventually I found I could walk her in the park daily and people would come up and ask how she was etc, so I started getting more contact with other people.

We went from strength to strength together and eventually I was able to ease myself back into normal life, with her constantly by my side. Finally being able to go to work part time and eventually moving in with my bf (now dh) when he went to uni and get a good job that supported all three of us.

She was the most calm, beautiful soul I have ever encountered in a dog, loved by everyone she met, despite being the biggest, longest coated shepherd bitch I have ever seen. The vet reckoned she was about 7 when we rescued her and she was with us for another 7 1/2 years, so in other words, lived till at least 14.

I really do credit that amazing dog with saving me and it was through her that I developed a lifelong love of dogs the lead me to take up heelwork to music, agility and obedience and also to do some study and obtain some canine related qualifications.

I'm not suggesting you should get your ds a dog that needs nursing like mine did. I just wanted to explain how having another creature's needs to focus on was what helped me to overcome my own anxieties and move on in my life.

Personally I think that getting children involved in the care of pets teaches them such a lot about caring for others and responsibility. Its an important life lesson for them that we have to pick up their mess every single time they do it, that they need feeding on time even if your favourite programme is on and that they have to be walked even if its cold and wet and you'd rather stay in and play on your computer etc. I think if handled right, pets can be so valuable to families/children be they SNs or NT.

Best thing we ever did for our son. However, you must consider that not only do you have the walking the dog in the rain situation, they do cause a lot of mess in the house, malting, and I am sure I have to dust loads more since we got him. Washing his feet after walks etc as he gets so ridiculously filthy! The walls! I am constantly washing mud off the walls! I wouldn't let that stop you though, the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages.

Can tell you one dog not to get - a red setter. He is gorgeous and attracts a lot (and I mean a lot) of attention, but he is very boisterous. So with son who is also very boisterous, plus the dog and other family members it can be a noisy, sometimes chaotic house. Mind you I wouldn't swap him for the world.

A neighbour across the road got a greyhound. He takes very little walking and is a lovely dog. A different neighbour used to take him for long walks, the dog hated them so much that when the doorbell rang, he used to run upstairs! Just a gentle stroll for him is fine.

We got a jack russell and he has really helped my dd, however my ds takes no notice of him and gets very angry when the dog barks.

Thank you for all your advice everyone.

Moosemama - that is such a moving and amazing story. Thank you so much for sharing it. It's incredible that the dog helped you as much as you helped it, yet it makes perfect sense. I just hope a dog could help my son as much as your dog helped you.

bochead - Oh, you give me hope! That's great that your dog has helped your son with his anxiety. We have plenty of time to match-make (not planning to get the dog until after our holiday in June) so I will try to find out about a personalised matching service. I don't want a puppy (am still recovering from my own babies ), but a yearling sounds a good idea. Also, good advice about getting a dog that people are drawn to, rather than one that people move away from.

coff - another encouraging post. Thank you.

Davros - thanks for the tip about the NAS magazine - I'll check that out (I know someone who works there, so should be able to get a copy if it's not online).

miss -thanks so much for taking the time to post. Akitas sound wonderful dogs, but we have a small house with small rooms, so I think an Akita would just be too big. I love the fact that your Akita defended you and your DC on the bus!

nothing - the mess was one of the reasons we didn't want a dog initially. However, we have realised that our son's mental health is far more important than clean walls! I love Red Setters, but they are too big for our needs. Greyhounds are getting a lot of mentions from people "in the know" about dogs.

Onward - oh, I love Jack Russells! And that would be the perfect size too.

Am getting quite excited at the thought now. Wish I could tell DS.

It is a Jack Russell that we have :)

We had him from pup and let everyone handle him, even joe public, took him out in arms so he got used to planes, birds, traffic before he had injections and more importantly he got used to hearing an impatient DS voice without batting an eyelid

If you do decide on a JR though I would recommend you do not buy one from a farm if you have other animals. They are hunters by nature and so if you have cats or rabbits they could well end up prey as the instinct is there. Also they are more snappy for some reason. I was advised this by an animal home which I went to.

Sadly all the JRs they had that I would have took on were farm or country bred and they would not pass on to anyone with children or pets due to their nature which was a shame.

My neighbours did just that and unfortunately their cat was lunch poor thing and it snapped at the kids if on a lead as it felt insecure.

I bought one from a housebred mother that knew no different and my dog tolerates 5 cats! and a tantrummy child lol

Our jack russell is a miniture as we have a very small house he weighs 3kg and doesnt mind if he doesnt get a walk if dc are having a bad day, although dc named him Bruno! My neighbours lab puppy is 9 wks and bigger than our fully grown dog. We wouldnt be without ours and he was brought to help dc problems.

We bought a miniature schnauzer puppy last year. It has been loads of work, socialising both the dog and DS2. They tend to wind each other up. But it's getting slowly better now.

Yes, we are also constantly washing mud off the lower portion of the walls (I swear that dog thinks rolling in the mud is the BEST GAME EVER!)

We're trying now to get DS2 involved in his care more, now that they're not so bouncy with each other.

aw thats ok, were bringing in a jack russell into our family/pack soon too, so excited! maybe consider one of them? they are excitable but great fun

Mine is a 6kg fattie lol but still fits going through a cat flap to go outside and do business at night so no early morning whimpers :)