autistic ds being pushed around at MS school

[mixedemotions123]

what else can i do, my 6.5yr old ds is in the same class as a boy who has emotional problems, due to homelife, but seems to be constantly hitting out at him. I have voiced my concerns with head, and class teacher,and senco, but nothing seems to change. This boy is in all small group work with my son and almost all additional support that my son gets, he is included in as well. My ds keeps saying that he wants to go to a different school so that the other boy won,t keep giving him bruises, or in his own terms "bumps". HAS ANYONE GOT ANY SUGGESTIONS PLEASE?????

keep on at the school! if they know there is a problem between the boys they should keep them apart. this is bullying

We will keep complaining to the school, they have said that as he has now started taking medication, they hope that it will calm him down, and that they try to keep them apart as much as poss. They have said that it is not only my son who gets it, but that unfortunatley he reacts badly to him, where i assume the other lads would give him a wallop back.

Keep on at the school. They run a risk of a breach of care if they know about this and it does not stop.

Put all future correspondence in writing and ask to see a copy of your son's school record. They must comply with your request even though they may charge you for photocopying (its around 10p per sheet). They also cannot impose conditions re the school record like you must come into school to collect it.

www.bullying.co.uk is a useful site to read as well, has lots of advice for both parents and pupils.

that isn't the point though! they have a duty to keep your child safe at school.
in fact, saying that it isn't only your child makes it even worse! other kids are being bullied/hurt by this boy and they aren't willing to do anything about it basically.

not good enough

Message withdrawn

oh things like this make me seethe with rage, my ds hasnt been in school since nov05 as he cant cope with other kids picking on him and the school wont acknowledge theres a problem

It is a good thing I am not a headteacher or a teacher because I would take these little bullies who are intentionally hurting other kids and I would punish them severly and make them real sorry, and probably get sacked and sued.

I know this isn't a helpful post but it makes me so angry. DS age 5 (?ASD) came home crying today because he said all the kids are mean to him and they had him on the ground kicking him. Teacher says there is no problem. WTF???

No advice really. I just hope things get better for your son.

thanks everyone. I am new to mumsnet as my ds has only just been diagnosed as being on the asd, it is good to know that there is somewhere to get unbiased advice when you need it! We will be arranging another meeting with the school to discuss this and other concerns that we have, hopefully this time they will take notice and do something about it. Thanks again

sorry anoah, i missed your reply when i was typing mine. Hope your little lad is ok. It just seems as though the schools just sweep it under the carpet rather than dealing with the problem. It must be bad enough when your child doesn't have problems, but a damn sight harder when they have and you can't be there to protect them from it all.

is your son statemented> Does he get a specified number of hours of 1:1. If he does this shouldn't be shared.

No, we applied for a statement 2 years ago when it was clear that he had a learning disability, the LEA refused to assess him as the EP felt he was making progress,even though his SLT, GP, CHILD PSYCHIATRIST all felt that he needed a lot of 1-1 to help him. We have just applied again as we now have the diagnosis, but at present he has 15mins a day 1-1 for his slt programme, and literacy. The only other help is in small group work {6 i believe) for maths. 1 of which is the other boy.

I had this problem last year with my ds (AS/ADHD). I spoke to the SENCO, teacher and head - all to no avail.

I then took it to a hearing with the Governors - no help, so I moved him to a much smaller school 3 miles away. He is ALOT happier now. He does get jumped on and hurt from time to time, but the school deal with it in the proper way - there and then, so there is no hard feelings on either side.

It's a horrible situation to be in and I wish you the best of luck with it and hope you get the 1-2-1 help your ds needs.

It sounds as though your ds is being seriously let down. If the other child is hitting out (whatever the reason) at other children then the boy is obviously in need of extra supervision.

My ds1 (5.5yrs) sometimes comes home with bruises when games have been too rough but I know that the school deals with each incident appropriately. Ds1 doesn't have any official extra supervision in the playground but the staff are aware that he has difficulties sometimes and watch him a little more closely than the other children.

This is one of the main reasons i want to homeschool. In my estimation all kids with special needs should have a place in mainstream school with all the help they need. BUT, of course the reality is that they will be ostracised, wont get the help they need, etc etc.

its almost like they WANT your kid to get bullied so that you will pull them out. The NAS figures kids with special needs in mainstream schools in terms of bullying expulsions (not their own fault) and declining learning curves are appaling. Please keep on at this school. Its your child's right to be there to engage in equal community, participation and equality itself.

My son is 4 years old hes at a special school and 3 weeks ago he broke his leg there due to another child and their aggresion all the children at the school are autistic we have an appointment on monday with the head i just dont know where to turn as the boy who broke my sons leg didnt do it on purpose its part of his autism but at the same time i need to know my son will be safe when he returns to school.

It really is so difficult to know what to do for the best. We know that our local special needs school would not accept our son for a place unless he has a statement, but if he had a statement granted then surely it has to be better to leave him in ms, but with all of the additional support. It must be so hard for you when your child is in sn, and the injuries are not intentional because there is an underlying problem with the child that is hurting yours, but being in a sn school you would think that the amount of support and supervision provided would protect your child???

I have ONCE AGAIN , spoken to the school head about the problems that we are having, she apparently was unaware that anything had happened recently. She had the nerve to say that both boys had issues that they need to resolve. I pointed out to her that as far as i am concerned my son is unable to cure himself of being Autistic and she then backtracked on her comment! She has said that she will talk to his teacher etc to see what can be done, but that if the bullying is going on in the playground, then seperating them will not resolve the problem.

and at the Head's attitude!!

Are there any other mainstream schools in your area that you could have a look at?

As he finishes at infants in july, everyone says "wait until he gets to juniors, they are very good there with special needs", so until now we haven't really given much thought to the other ms in our area. Depending on wether or not we manage to get a statement for him, it is something we will be considering. We had a letter from the head today, saying that they feel it is beneficial to keep the boys together in small group work, but will try to keep them away from each other in the playground, if that makes any sense!!!!! Also that their class teacher has not had any significant problems with them in class. My ds was distraught again tonight when he came out of school, saying that he never wants to go to school anymore. I know he has to, but it is so b*** hard trying to get through to him.